Hidden Desire: Why We Crave To Be Dominant Or Submissive

The desire of the man is for the woman.

The desire of the woman is for the desire of the man.”

– Madame de Staël

There are hidden longings we do not talk about. Perhaps, we are reluctant to confirm the common stigma of the rape fantasy. Perhaps, we simply have not found a trustworthy person to explore the depth of our desire yet. Whether we have the intention to fulfil them or not…They linger in the corner of our minds, just waiting for the opportunity to become reality.

We cannot control what makes us tingly all over without serious repercussions. No matter how hard we try, we are hardwired that way. We can attempt to redirect our energy in a more socially acceptable direction, but eventually we might see the appeal in leading a secret life…where we enjoy the acceptance we crave in order to find release…However, we must be warned, giving into our hidden desires can be dangerous. The balance of power can tilt in an instant…and fantasy can turn into a nightmare. This is why communication is almost as essential as self-control. If we get carried away at the expense of our partner, but they do not speak up for whichever reason, then it can cause psychological turmoil. Speaking up when things go too far should be an automatic response. Nonetheless, it isn’t for many women as they grow self-destructively submissive in a way, which isn’t pleasurable for them to satisfy their partner. No lasting relationship can withstand that kind of perpetual sacrifice. As a rule, the more extreme sex becomes, the greater are the risks in case it goes wrong. Beyond gender stereotypes, men sacrifice as much as women. In fact, more men wish to take on a submissive role compared to us. Simply because it is a cliché doesn’t invalidate the statistics. In fact, there’s no combination of freaky that doesn’t exist…even if it seems like our deepest wants lack original thought.

It is far too easy to fall into the trap of vanilla sex. After we get older, we no longer experiment. We are stuck in a rut, unable to get our freak on. If we have a stable partner, we often struggle with the same old differences on how we prefer to get fucked. For example, he wants doggy, she’ll only do missionary. Instead of finding a steamy compromise, both end up unsatisfied. To reach the heights of ecstasy, we must switch off the intellectual part of our brains. We must be fully immersed in the moment. When we ask, debate and discuss acts, which require no preparation, we get less than if we carefully seized the opportunity. The most breathtaking experiences are spontaneous. A girl doesn’t wanna be asked, she wants to feel an empathetic passion that can’t be contained to just take her as she is.

To achieve this, we have to leave the safe zone of conventional intimacy for something far more primordial. The act itself must ceases to matter less than the spirit behind it.

Life is based on the exchange of control. During any sexual encounter, we relinquish power to receive pleasure. There can’t be two people on the wheel. Both cannot dominate each other simultaneously. Still, some prefer to be more submissive than others.

Are You Fucking Sure You Want This?

We can romanticize an idea without enjoying it turn into reality. The more extreme an idea, the more preparation is required. For instance, we can indulge in rape fantasies, but be far from exhilarated when we attempt to act them out. As with everything, there are degrees of intensity. There’s a delicate “Gleichgewicht” [balance in german; an equal- or counter-pushing of force, as it may] People who tire of regularly having to be in control, often like to practice a new form of control by fantasizing about the pleasures of totally relinquishing control. More importantly, we cannot let go entirely without our survival instincts kicking in. To let go completely means to be willing give over our very life without fear or hesitation…To allow him to take you to the brink, knowing with everything you are, he won’t push you off. Such trust is rare and it isn’t gained lightly.

“It’s safe to say that most women have a very complex relationship with their desire to be dominant or submissive, one that is much more problematic than that experienced by men.” [Ogas and Gaddam] What’s perhaps most revealing is the psychological relief that many in socially dominant, high stress positions experience in identifying with the submissive role. Fantasizing themselves as liberated from all the responsibilities that go with functioning in dominant roles offers them a much needed respite. The release experienced is not just to get their rocks off. Nobody can stay alert and in control or feel entirely powerless 24/7, so something’s gotta give. A coping mechanism used for entrancement becomes a short-term coping mechanism for social survival, which if mentally as well as physically addictive enough can become long-term. For example, in the case of breath play.
Furthermore, when we surrender control, we are at our most vulnerable, therefore it is in our best interest to seek the company of those we can trust unconditionally. Even rarer. As a consequence, we frequently settle for something less intense than it’s designed to be. With total domination, sex is the complete renunciation of all power. An epitome of what love is supposed to be. When we give someone the opportunity to seriously injury us or take our lives, we give them a different kind of power than is conventionally shared. When we give ourselves over to another person to that point, we form a different type of connection. Whether it is professional or personal is of little relevance, as it is what we truly crave. A kind of temporary unity. A state, in which we feel control is equally distributed, even if we almost submit completely, because we are giving and receiving what is desired.

For what it’s worth, I usually get overwhelmed by boredom rather quickly in relationships. Attraction begins in the mind, so the physical barely figures into this with me. Usually, if they weren’t deep or intense enough to keep my interest, I would move on. Most encounters were not in the least positive, yet the most lasting shared a forbidden, fringe element. Even if we cease to act on our desires, the fantasies often persists…as their root cause is deeply embedded. There’s a saying in the psych business, you can take on fetishes with ease, but you can’t get rid of them as easily. Once something raises the bar of exhilaration, it is insanity for most go back, unless it’s illegal. That’s also where the danger lies. When we begin experimenting with someone, we know, and it happens to end badly….and we then resort to seeking the same thrill with strangers, the risk rises exponentially. When we submit to anyone, we must learn to intuitively feel by their touch that their intentions aren’t insatiably carnal…that even if they are consumed by want, they won’t push too far…


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3 Reasons Why We Are Offended By Belief

We live in a multi-cultural world, where political correctness was designed to maintain a level of mutual respect and understanding. However, when our beliefs don’t quite fit into the establishment, they can indicate distrust or even disrespect…but even when a part of the global establishment embraces those beliefs, in other parts of the world those beliefs are not acceptable. Regardless of what we believe, as long as we do not abuse our beliefs to justify acts of violence, we are entitled to the level of religious freedom that enables us to pursue self-realisation through whichever religion. (It should be noted that violence takes many forms: physical, emotional, mental, spiritual/religious etc. This also includes neglect, which is defined as the failure to care for those aspects)

Although countless of athiest keep an open mind toward the spiritual, many are rather nihilistic toward the subject…To the point, where they cannot maintain ‘normal’ relationships with spiritual and/or religious practitioners of any kind. This is not an uncommon phenomenon, where any faith or lack thereof is concerned. We feel annoyed or resentful, when others display a certain disregard toward what we think or feel, but that should not mean we have to change our entire belief system to accommodate them. Any philosophical or mental construct, even peace, can be perceived as an insult, dependent on the situation.

On a related note, we all have an acquaintance or two that we avoid theological conversations with. No matter how hard we try, we often agree to disagree. However, for as long as neither party is forced to submit to the beliefs of the other, there can be a modicum of freedom.

We only have collective freedom of expression, as long as we display compassion, when our opinions or beliefs are questioned… After all, verbal or physical aggression has never turned anyone into a true believer.  Conversely, unquestioning submission to a belief, particularly when forced, cannot bring peace. It can never lead us to the truth. Moreover,  without occasionally pushing the boundaries of religion or spirituality, where would be the development? How could we strive to attain higher levels of experiential knowledge?

This leads us to the question, why are some so easily offended, when others do not share their beliefs or outright deny their possible merits? (1.) Desire (2.) Attachment (3.) Ignorance


(1.) Desire: When we do not share our beliefs with another, it can put a strain on the relationship from the word go. Their priorities often wildly differ from our own. However, in life, we are bound to desire acceptance, unless we understand that not everyone can or will accept us. If we do not understand this, then we are far more likely to attempt to change others or ourselves to gain social acceptance. Although such desires do not have to be self-serving. They are only rooted in good intentions in rare cases, but especially then it is of profound importance to maintain boundaries and respect that others muse learn to make their own decision. It is not our right to choose for them.

Being accepted comes from showing acceptance without causing physical and/or psychological harm in the process. Without the aim to control or dominate. However, if we cannot accept ourselves, how can we accept anyone else?

In numerous cultures, women are perceived as second-class citizens. Saudi Arabia and now Pakistan, for instance. In addition, they are held responsible for the actions of men around them. In reoccurring textbook examples of abuse, they are held liable for the desire they inflame, which frequently leads to sexual assault. Upon rejection of romantic or sexual advances, they are scolded with sulfuric acid or even burnt alive, as a disincentive for other women. This serves as a means to show them what may happen to them should they refuse to comply. Fear becomes the ultimate weapon of control to fulfil mens worldly desires reinforced through a system of oppressive religious laws that currently strives for global domination.


(2.) Attachment: When we cling to faith, as if it was a life-raft, there is going to be a conflict of interest. Not everyone will want to float on it with us. Our attachment to religious or spiritual beliefs may enable one person to get through the day, but other people may not feel the same way. I’ve encountered plenty of men, women and children that do not share the same beliefs as their relatives. Some weep and pray for their souls still, as they cannot bear the notions that they will not share a place in the afterlife with their loved ones (which is simply not true, but their expectations can make it so!)

When we love unconditionally, all we long for is happiness, regardless of what shape it may take. For what it is worth, they could worship Lucifer, the Light-Bringer or former Sun-God, and we would let them get on with it. (as long as there is no animal or human sacrifice) For as long as they are free and happy to make their own choices, we are content to let them be. That is the difference between love and attachment. True love depends on non-interference without the urge for the object/subject of our affection to satisfy our needs and wants.


(3.) Ignorance: Our lack of knowledge always becomes the source of someone else’s power to do with as they please. It is the cornerstone of inequality, fear and hatred.

It is the ignorance of our true nature that prevents us from realising that we are all connected, no matter what we believe. For as long as kindness and open-mindedness is not an integral aspect of our religious practices, they can never bear any other fruit than  resentment. When we perceive others as an extension of our own self, we cannot see them for who they truly are: a vibrant, unique part of a greater whole that we are also a part of. By harming them, we only harm ourselves. By liberating them, we can liberate ourselves. Ignorance is a grave betrayal to our spiritual/religious beliefs, as it leads us to view ourselves as seperate from our fellow man. Worst case scenario, it fuels our ego to the point where we view our beliefs superior to theirs…

Ignorance may be bliss for a while, but eventually it leads to immense suffering, when everything comes crashing down…when we have no choice other than to accept the reality that we’ve been denying all along. As is stated in the Upanishads, human beings cannot live without challenges. They cannot live without meaning. We are driven by a deep, inner urge to achieve the impossible, to know the unknown, to shed any and all ignorance in order to arrive at the Absolute Truth

Thou Art That🌹

Worlds End

As the recent climate changes have become to affect the main areas of England to the degree of interfering with the National Rail and the average citizen on a daily basis. The time for a special kind of realization has come. The weather will only worsen. When was the last time you saw a polar vortex in the middle of New York…Was it on The Day After Tomorrow? Now what’s the chance of that actually happening years later in real life? A billion to one? Whether it is the terra-forming of the planet with composites using carbon dioxide or it is the planet attempting to compensate for the melting of the ice caps, it is happening and has been happening for years, gradually worsening…gradually increasing. Yet, as we all frankly are not bothered about an issue until it knocks on our front door, although by then it will most likely be too late. We have become a race that is overwhelmed with emotional rather than academic or spiritual concepts. Our presence of mind is often maintained by habits, routines, comfort and luxury. Instant gratification has become the science of marketing. The social constructs that have been built around society have become weakened, as they have outlived their usefulness. They have become a burden to the very individuals that they were designed to serve. Truth be told, we have come to favour breeding strength rather than intellect. We seek protection and within a world, in which it cannot exist, due to the widespread of corruption. Currently, we are told that the earth is overpopulated…Only for the amount of fossil fuel that is used. Truth be told, smaller numbers are easier to control and manipulate. Yet, one must not forget the most important rule within combat…Leave no ground left to go to. Economic and gorilla warfare have brought this planet to a unified financial crisis. Swiss bankers are even feeling the lightening of their wallets. Yet, what use is money, if the system around you is collapsing?

The chemtrails are merely further evidence of environmental as well as behavioural modification. Aggression and violence spreads. However, as previously discussed in my post about the middle class during an apocalypse scenario, one may also wish to consider the possibility of NASA spaceships leaving the planet upon global catastrophe. Truth be told, any female passenger would experience a loss of libido. Zero gravity experiments in space have shown that men and women experience an alteration within their biochemical framework, which results in a general lack of interest in sex. In fact, countless females that had been tested have ultimately turned lesbian as a consequence. No explanation for the phenomena has yet been found. Now, one may wish to ask the same question in regards to peadophilia, one may assume that the same rules apply, although it has not yet been officially tested. This would leave very little interest in the continuation of human kind, if mankind were to even reach that step, which is highly doubtful, considering our position within the galactic order at present. The inevitable conclusion is that the face of the planet is changing beyond the point of return and countless more will suffer as a consequence until those in charge begin to act in the better interest of humanity, directly contrasting their self-interests, which is even more doubtful. Therefore, it remains the duty of the people to act.

Heightism & Paedophilia

Criminological Analysis of Heightism

As previously mentioned within my post regarding the chav based rape and child abuse systems that have been constructed within society and continue to perpetuate themselves, it should be noted that the pregnant child is often kept within a state of fear in order to remain silent, regarding the father. I have personally witnessed parental disputes, in which the parents disregarded the abuser of the child and they become complicit in continuing their association. It has reached a point, in which females are handed over to a male above 6’2ft (most predators are often of that height) at the age of 13 to 14. These females are impregnated repeatedly before reaching the age of 16, by which point all future potential has been lost. Once the female has outlived her purpose, she is replaced for another 13 to 14 year old. And the pattern is repeated. This occurs across the United Kingdom. It has become widespread and mainlined paedophilia. The chav, in essence, requires status and comfort in order to survive within modern society. Any rejection undoubtedly leads to violence.

In consequence, these individuals are also accustomed to obtaining female, which are classically termed as cum-buckets through constant intoxication. The weapons that these men use are far reaching. Disorientation, which can be done through music and turning up the temperature within the premises in order to elevate the heart rate. Psychological side-effects of the base drumming within music has often been utilized during times of war as well as the attainment of a trance state. Additionally, the stripping of clothes represents the stripping of defence layers in the female. Both physically and psychologically. Distortion of judgement: This has already partially been achieved by the loud music, disrupting the thought processes. Classically used in soldiers during times of combat. African tribes used to surround their targets and bang the drums for over 24 hours, after which they had their troops move in according to the drum beat. As the drum beat speeds, whilst the troops are approaching. Same effect occurs in women within these tiny flats that are turned into saunas. This is where alcohol is included into the equation. Chavs not having a lot of money will use very cheap, very chemical alcohol, designed to accelerate the heart beat and cause head rush. More often than not a little bit of cocaine is added to the mix and let the sex commence, regardless of the age of the female participant.

Yet, in order to maintain ones reputation and shine like a new penny, whilst committing acts that are far from a heroic image, one requires an easy target that is already unpopular and possesses very little defence capabilities to take the blame. These scapegoats are often 5’7ft. It has become evident that a short stature in men can be difficult in the dating world, yet during childhood this often results in regular persecution. This is often continued until after the individual leaves school. However, regular bullying implies that there are specific perpetrators that are more often than not above 6ft, especially when the victim is of above average intelligence. The final and first resort of the perpetrators is more often than not violence. Aggression is provoked at the slightest hint of rejection or objection. Even when accusing the individual of performing the actions that they themselves committed, such as child abuse. It has become common practice and these individuals often victimize their childhood targets long after leaving school, even if that means going out of their way to do so or targeting an individual exactly like them. This type of chav feed off media propaganda and utilize it as a manner of controlling others, such as the celebrity media, Hollyoaks East Enders, Coronation Street and so forth. It should be noted that they surround themselves in air of overconfidence. These individuals will often walk around and behave as if the world owes them something and they are there to take it at every opportunity with a shit eating grin on their face and no thanks whatsoever. These individual do not participate in fair fights. On average, it is 6 or more (above 6th) on one individual that is below 6ft. The same perpetrators are the same groups that engage in date rape. As in their own words, “They ain’t sinking money into no sex.” Yet, they do not commit these crimes on their own turf, they raid other gangs club territory, as it is considered. Numerous towns along rail-lines from London to Thanet, London to Brighton, and London to Norwich are often used as a date-rape and acquaintance zones. A room is rented out, then these individuals spot their targets, drug them and return with them to their rooms, leaving them to wake up the next morning within the establishment. In the same manner that CEO’s and the likes travel to foreign countries and other locations of immunity to perform their dark deeds. This can be found within all aspects of society, such as the corporate, industrial, political and religious world. In conclusion, adequate education of children and a true view of society without emotional bias would eliminate this phenomenon almost overnight. The social construct known as heightism would cease to exist with an objective viewpoint of society, whilst removing the social predators and freeing up the space for mental growth within society, enabling it to move forward, beyond the shadow of social corruption.



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