Loving A Fatherless Girl


It will not seem different at first. You will do the things all new couples do: joke and share silly stories. Laugh louder than you ever anticipated. Laugh harder. You get drunk off fingertips and innocent touches, like when she lingers on your shoulder for just a beat longer. She kisses you like you are the first person she has ever kissed, and it will keep you up at night, in the best way possible. Everything is fun and exciting. She will do whatever she can to make sure it is fun. She needs it to be fun. Exciting. Light. She knows darkness already too well.
She will be careful in her words. You notice she never says “parents” and looks away when someone mentions their father. You are consumed with a strange, irrational guilt when you answer a phone call from your dad. It feels dirty, like a secret that will unravel this ethereal happiness you’ve built together.


She does not flinch when someone asks about her family. She has memorized this back and forth. You wonder how many times she has regurgitated the same script. Her voice never breaks. There is not even the smallest crack. You picture her standing in front of her bathroom mirror, practicing what she will say when someone asks about her dad. You will wonder, was there a time when she couldn’t even spit out the words? Did she choke on her own grief? Are you capable of being with someone so guarded?


She will share small moments with you that do not seem like much of anything. She tells you about that one Halloween when her dog ate almost all of her candy and was still miraculously completely fine. “Dad was so scared. He slept near her all night in case we had to rush her to the vet.” You will kiss her forehead, and she will direct your hands to hold her. She has never asked to be held. Do not underestimate how monumental this is. This is her slowly lowering the shield she has spent years crafting. This is her trusting you.
She will shy away from discussing problems. She tiptoes when you wish she would just walk. You don’t understand how someone so feisty, so full of opinions and fire, can go mute when confrontation approaches. She is flight when you would have been sure she’d fight. You get too close, things get too real, and she runs. She has tennis shoes on stand by.

A girl without a father does not want to create waves because she has been underwater longer than she cares to explain. She is not a pushover, though you may push and ask why she is so scared of doing something, anything, that will upset someone. You ask how she can be so brave on paper, but so scared of talking to someone face-to-face. She will deflect and bite back with sarcasm. She self-deprecates, calls herself messed up like it’s as casual as her first name. You will think maybe this is it. Maybe she will never be honest with you.

Here is the truth: it should not be surprising that conflict makes her skin crawl. It should not be absurd that she will passively sit by, figure out the best way to avoid saying anything that will put a riff between her and someone she loves, because people can fucking leave. And that is the most terrifying thing she has ever learned. If the only man she ever truly needed left when she was not done needing him, it is fair game for anyone else to decide it’s not worth it.

For anyone else to decide she’s not worth it.

But none of that will spill out very easily. She doesn’t want these labels: The one with abandonment issues. The one who keeps you at a distance. The one looking to fill a void. The fatherless girl. She does not want your pity.
When you date a girl without a father, you need to understand you will not always understand. And if she is worth it, love her anyway. And love her all the way.

Excerpt from: ThoughtCatalog

Definitions


Written in 2007

Hope is a belief in a positive outcome
Related to events and circumstances…
Hope implies we believe enough
To expect we may get our way.

The definition of dreams
Is to hope and imagine something
That might not come true
Maybe never, but we still visualize it.

The word home means so much more,
Than just a roof over our heads,
It’s a safe place, we can return to,
No matter what…

Love,
A wor…
A feeling…
A promise?

How do we define ourselves?
Our dreams or actions?
Through our home, our world?
Through all that we love…

The definition of time is fluid,
As everything changes,
Even if we stand still…
It ticks so fast and then so slow…

Rationality describes the explainable
But only superficially…
It demands all should make sense,
Even when mostly nothing does.

The term truth outlasts our opinions,
Transcending the relative…
From probability to formless potential, It proves everything and nothing.

Someday truth might bring us together,
Perhaps when the time is right,
Dreams may become reality
Somewhere…Somehow.

What You Don’t Know


What you don’t know is
That I lie awake,
Wishing you were here tonight…
To wrap myself around you
As you grip me tight.

You don’t realise,
You can try hide the scars left on you,
But you know you never will.
In the end, your imperfections are
What makes me whole…

You can’t begin to imagine how
I grasp for words just out of reach
Because I can barely think,
Whenever you’re so close…
All thought simply falls away.

How would you know
That you are poetry,
Words cannot capture…
Shining a light
On the shadows of my heart.

Whatever was yesterday or
What may happen tomorrow,
I’ll take you for who you truly are..
And with each day,
I’ll do it all over again.

What you may not feel is
Your embrace pulls me from the edge…
When there is nothing left,
You give all that you are
No holds barred.

What you don’t know is
When the moon and the sun collide
And the night dawns…
I won’t be afraid to show
How brightly you set me aglow.

Words of Love


Written in 2005

I never imagined it to be you,
All of it…hit me just out of the blue….
Now you’re by my side,
Something like this can’t be denied.

You dried the tears I shed
With everything you said…
You warmed a heart of stone
Doomed to spend eternity alone.

In my heart,
We are never apart.
There’s something written about our love,
In the sun, the moon and the stars above.

Destined to be, that’s what we are…
Distance can never be too far,
Hearts together, bound as one.
Souls united, a lifetime begun.

My heart, my mind, my body, my soul…
My hopes, my dreams, you have control…
My love for you will always stay,
Always, forever, plus a day.

10 Ways To Find Joy


“This earth is the effect of all beings, and all beings are the effect of this earth.”

Brihadaranyaka Upanishads

Every day, I kneel down in prayer to the Great Spirit and I ask for the strength, the wisdom and the understanding to lead others away from suffering…to breaking their alliance with karma and thereby take their rightful place in themselves. Our world is but a fleeting thought in the cosmos that echoes in the far distance. We are eternal, prior to which we are infinite. Immortality is a word with too many limitations to describe the true nature of our consciousness. We are prior to the concept…

Our Spirit does not harbour vengeful or unethical thoughts. It does not kill and it is not killed. It is bliss that forges the peace, which permeates all. It is the knowledge upon all has been founded. It is Existence. It is everything that existed prior to the multiverse and everything that shall remain after the dissolution of the cosmos

At heart, the Spirit of Christmas is just as innocent, pure and imperishable. It is the same joyful spirit that pervades all. It is a happiness that is selfless as much as it is desireless. A happiness, which can only come from within. All the presents in all the worlds cannot bring joy or peace, unless the gift is the keys to irreversible, inner happiness.

1. Don’t Be Right, Be Kind, But Honest

“Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?” (Wayne Dyer)

Kindness is underrated in a society, where it is often interpreted as romantic interest or used for selfish ends. Our opinion is our opinion, regardless of whether we insist on being right. That cannot change, unless we are ready for it to. My thoughts may not be the same as your thoughts, but the truth shall always be the truth, even if we only acknowledge it to agree to disagree. The truth is the ultimate victor in the end, even when history is re-written to the exact opposite of what actually happened.

That which remains unsaid in Buddhist philosophy and psychology is that withholding factual information has a consequence, just as sharing information we know to be false. What we believe to be true may not be kind, but when it reflects the views we hold in modern society, then the fate that one suffers by withholding vital information can be worse than the fleeting moments of pain, in which we are forced to confront reality. If it is not necessary to share a painful truth that will only perpetuate suffering, then it is best to remain silent. If we attempt to open the minds of others and only meet resistance, then it is also best to remain silent. However, if there is only a fraction of a chance that our words or deeds can bring joy, peace or healing, then it is our responsibility to take the risk. We must give other the opportunity to decide for themselves, regardless of how hopeless the situation may seem. It is only temporary. One day, they may surprise us, as the seeds that we have been planting are finally taking root in their unconscious.

When it is unkind to speak the truth, ask yourself whether the consequences of your non-interference are worse than the consequences of saying nothing. Ask yourself whether you would wish to have your illusions shattered, if you were in their position…Only then can you know what it may take to warn others from a fate much worse than the truth.

Kindness hurts, when it is genuine. We often believe that when we are kind, we avoid spreading hatred or hurt others, which is partially accurate, but enlightenment can only come from truth…and truth hurts. So, to be kind, one has to be genuine. That does not mean forcing ones opinions on another at every turn about every subject under the sun, but speaking up when it is necessary…When it is kinder to inflict temporary psychological pain, (allowing the false layers of their self to fall off as they may), instead of patiently lying in wait until the time comes when they have no other choice than to accept a brutal truth, you know, they would have denied outright.

Moreover, never say “I told you so.” Apart from creating hostility and tension, that phrase fuels a sense of false superiority. You are not superior by knowing better, while others are suffering unnecessarily through your inaction or non-interference. You are a part of the cause, unless you act in the interest of their self-realisation… Pain is inevitable, whereas suffering is optional. Therefore, by witnessing the suffering of your fellow-man, you are duty-obliged to help cease their suffering

In conclusion, we can never truly know for certain what is right or wrong, but we can discern whether a specific viewpoint leads to or away from suffering. The Absolute Truth may create pain, but that pain cannot endure…It is but a temporary blip on the map of your life. For example, when I turned 15 after my fathers death, I attended a psychotherapy session, in which my counsellor advised me to accept that my mother will never love me in the way that I may want her to. After over four years of struggling to come to terms with this, I would still occasionally shed tears at what could be, but inevitably the pain stopped. My suffering would not cease for years to come, yet my journey would lead me to the true meaning of inner peace and happiness…to our natural state of being. So, my advice to you is this…Never be afraid to tell the truth, however inconvenient or torturous, it may lead those close to you to becoming who they were meant to be.

2. Let Go

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” Lao Tzu

Attain a state of desirelessness and you shall find Heaven, Nirvana or even Christ… Get to know the joy of your soul that burns brightly forevermore. When you feel overly confident, reflect. When you become too passionate or too attached, take a step back. Distance won’t stop the mind from desiring a particular object and/or subject, but it can assist you in putting things into perspective. It gives you time to contemplate how your desires drive you and thereby affect your behaviour.

As long as you are subject to desire, you are subject to the endless cycle of death and rebirth. Desire creates impressions and shapes the predispositions of the mind in every life. What gives us pleasure is not actually a mental or physical object, it is the aspect of the Universal Spirit that is present in all things. We rejoice at the sight of a Christmas tree, for example, because it brings back childhood memories of a time, when we couldn’t contain our excitement. A season of joy, togetherness and, of course, gifts. It is the Spirit that attracts us, not the form that is presented to us in.

Only in the absence of desire and attachment, there is freedom. Only when we truly let go, is there peace. Joy is our natural state of being, once we remove the conditions we require to experience it. As a child, these conditions are less stringent, yet as we grow into adulthood, more conditions accumulate. Our mind becomes less flexible, as it is preoccupied with the past with its eyes on the future. In such a state, the mind cannot appreciate the present moment. It becomes more and more difficult to feel joyful in the here and now.

When we detach, we begin to realise that things are never as they seem. What seemed extraordinarily important to us, may not be as important after we have had time to digress. Even after we have been the subject of wrongdoing or a loved one has made a grave error that has affected us negatively, we must ask ourselves, why this has happened and what we can do to forgive. We should not accept responsibility for their mistake, unless we are partly to responsible. We need not worry or entertain feeling of guilt. Whatever has occurred, it has happened for a reason. May it be the state of society, may it be poor self-control, or may it be that we were simply at the wrong place at the wrong time…There are causes that led to the effect that we are experiencing. Therefore, we must let go of what, we think, we know and strive to obtain more knowledge, regarding the situation. We must choose compassion, understanding and forgiveness over pain, anger and hatred.

3. Don’t Blame or Judge

How can know anyone in this life? How can we be a hundred percent certain that they are exactly who we think they are? Or that they are responsible for exactly what we think they are? We many hand out blame for events that they had no control over, or they may deliberate blame others for their shortcomings…

Allow everything and everyone to be just as it is. Allow people to be who they are. Whatever they think, say or do will have its consequences without your involvement. Do not waste your energies on blame, invest them in finding the truth beyond our physical senses or mental inclinations. Unless your assigned duty is discern whether they should be held responsible, blame will stagnate the process of letting go. Blaming them will create pain from reliving the experience repeatedly. Needless to mention, an experience from which you most likely can never find peace, unless you learn to move forward.

Only when we are in a position to rightfully shift blame and we desire not to, can we begin to understand the higher echelons of compassion. Once there is an admission of guilt and we voluntarily choose to help them understand as well as independently resolve the problems that led to the current situation, only then will they learn not to make the same mistake. “We must be capable of taking advantage of all the lower facilities of life, and yet renounce them voluntarily.” (Swami Ramakrishnananda) If anything we want, we must get, then we inevitably open ourselves to desire things that are inherently self-destructive, such as the nagging want/need to declare that we feel something or someone is responsible, even ourselves.

If you don’t blame others, why not extend the same curtesy to yourself? A declaration that you feel responsible does not resolve anything. Either we made a mistake, which can serve as a valuable lesson, for which we should be grateful, or karma has come back to haunt us.

We cannot wholly blame others for the sufferings of mankind or for the pains that we are undergoing in life. Every action has an equal and opposite reason. Every cause has its effect…and whatever we are inclined to shift blame on has its roots in a chain reaction that we are an intrinsic part of.

Understanding is the goal of our existence, since understanding gradually develops into self-realisation. Without any adversity, we can never hope to comprehend that which eludes us. Without any moral struggle, we cannot realise the nature of the minds around us. Without the cultivation of empathy or compassion, we may fail to learn that are mind are in a conditioned state, in which we are predisposed to certain behaviour.

4. Give Up Self-Defeat & Discard Limiting Beliefs

“You not only belong to your own self, but you belong to a large area of human society. It is not possible for any individual to totally dissociate oneself from social associations or social conditions. You know very well how much dependent anyone is on the structure of human society. No individual is complete by one’s own self. There are things which you can give to others, which others lack and do not have, but there are things which you would like to take from others, which you lack but others have.” (Swami Ramakrishnananda)

There will always be thoughts, opinions and beliefs that we carry with us through life. Everything and everyone in this world is deserving of our respect, especially ourselves. “We lose nothing by being humble. We lose everything by being proud and self-assertive, and wrongly imagining that we have all the power, while we have no power of any kind.” (Upanishads) Alone, we are nothing really, our power is limited, but in spirit, we are one and suddenly there are no more limitations. The only limitations that exist are the ones we place upon ourselves.

What you long for is not victory in the way that you imagine it. Victory is truth, peace and happiness in a war, in which you are your worst enemy. How can you aspire to greatness, if you do not believe that you deserve it or if you do not perceive it as an option? In other words, how can you attain a higher state of consciousness, if you do not allow yourself to? Faith without a reason behind it is blind, but when there is a reason (which is your very existence), lack of faith has disastrous consequences. You exist, so discard everything inside of you that makes you feel unworthy and start with self-respect. Become worthy of your own respect in the present moment by simply being as you are right now…by simply existing as the wondrous, brilliant being that you are.

Nobody knows how much time we are destined to spend on this Earth, so make the most of the time that is given to you. View it as an opportunity for growth. Use it as a chance to go where no man has gone before. Contemplate all that we cannot yet explain and find your true purpose.

If we are not in a position to do anything worthwhile for our own selves, what is the use of asking whether we can do some worthwhile thing for other people? People talk of service, social welfare, running about here and there on behalf of others, but does it do us or them any good in view of world affairs? What is worthwhile is often not what we do day-to-day, it is what we have stopped ourselves from doing… More often than not, it is what society deems to be disenfranchised to concentrate power and stagnate global development. So, choose your course of action wisely. Actions that may seem completely sane and reasonable can masquerade themselves as the least favour option. When uncertain, choose the path less travelled.

5. Don’t Complain

A complaint comes in many shapes. It can take the form of an explanation. It can be voiced calmly or even provide us with comfort. Although we should be distressed, when an individual that we are close to suffers the same as we do, it also bonds us. Shared pain makes us feel as if we are not alone, when in truth, beyond that pain is only oneness.

Beyond our suffering lies knowledge. The very knowledge that we require to understand our woes and complaints. The Gods have very little to do with it, as we have created the circumstances that led to our dissatisfaction or annoyance. However, its root goes far deeper than we imagine. We believe that money makes the world go round, when it is desire that turns our universe. The multiverse rests upon desire, it is that which brought it into existence, and its cessation marks the point of its dissolution.

We see but we don’t observe. We hear but we don’t listen. We touch but we don’t feel… The flames of our desires burn brighter, each time that we selfishly value ourselves above the world and everything in it. When we complain, we don’t seek to empathise or understand the views of others… Most of us simply wish ‘the problem’ went away, but it is never that simple. Unless we understand the root of that which we complain about, then the chance that matters will be resolved is slim.

A few winters ago, my body-temperature dropped below the average reading for hypothermia, but I did not care. My landlord did not care that his tenants spent one of the worst winters in the history of the United Kingdom without heating. My family would not even offer me a corner on the floor of their homes, as appearances are everything. They’d rather people didn’t know my situation, nor that they had refused to help… I understood. They didn’t need my forgiveness, since they already had it the moment I anticipated their response. I told them that I loved them and did what any good daughter would do…I kept silent. After a few years, the winters had carved out a new version of myself. One that was as cold as ice. One that would focus all the energy inward…All the hurt, the feelings of abandonment and fear of excruciating bone pain. Even when I lost sensation in my leg, I kept a brave face, when underneath everything was crumbling. I understood that it was my responsibility, my fate…and in the end, my burden to bear. Death appeared as a gift that would be welcomed each time the temperatures dropped dangerously and as they rose again, I would be reborn. Some say that I lost self-respect, others say that it would be a more merciful end than spreading my legs for warmth. They did not know that I was too sick to walk, to ill to move without pain, but in reality, it would have only made them feel guilty enough to blank out the conversation.

Now, another winter dawns and the temperatures are already close to zero…but there is no air left in me. No need to complain or feel emotionally wronged. Acceptance had finally taken ahold of me, and tears of joy were flowing down my cheeks as I began to feel truly indifferent. There are moments, in which I still voice some disdain but I can feel that the time is coming, when there will be no disagreement on any level of my being. I’m at peace with whatever may come.

So you see, the journey to a life without complaining comes in many forms…it is a day-to-day task, in which we have to restrain all of our natural impulses to understand that which would otherwise escape our understanding. When we experience the heights of physical, mental or emotional pain and we still maintain a non-judgemental attitude, then we probably won’t utter a single complaint ever again. In time, nothing will compare to those past experiences. Nothing will affect us as they did. Whereas others will complain about the simple things in life, none of that truly matters any longer. Their woes will seem so small that a single suggestion could remedy them, but many won’t feel joyful, when their reasons for complaining have vanished into thin air.

6. Don’t Criticise

Whatever reason others may have to act the way that they do, don’t judge them. If you were in their position, you may do the same. You cannot know for certain. It is easier to criticise than to imagine yourself in their shoes… Advise them constructively, if necessary, but do not criticise them and leave them to their own devices. All that creates is tension and hostility. You won’t relieve them of their problems, worries or inaccurate views, but add to them. They’ll feel worse, which makes them more likely to dwindle down the spiral of their already self-destructive behaviour.

Replace criticism with loving-kindness. Compassion serves as the key to gain common ground. In the absence of judgement, you can attain the wisdom to discover their reasoning… Judging them may make you feel better temporarily, but that bliss is a short-lived illusion manufactured by the ego. It stems from ignorance: the delusion that we exist as independent beings, separate from one another.

When we criticise another, we reveal much more about ourselves. Whatever we wish to judge them for has already spoken volumes about them, we needn’t add to that. Our criticism, unless it is compassionate and constructive, says more about us than if we were to be silent. It uncovers flaws in our perception that concern the current situation. More often than not, what we ask of them, we lack ourselves. For example, if we ask them to pay more attention or be more attentive, then we are often missing these qualities in ourselves.

Criticism mirrors our own unwholesome qualities that we still have to work through. Unless we are acutely aware how the present circumstances came to be with one or more solutions that may prevent their reoccurrence, then we should think carefully before voicing our disapproval.

Conversely, if we live in fear of blame or conflict, we are often easily persuaded into taking on the viewpoint of someone that we may not agree with. There is a thin line between non-judgement and self-assurance. As long as we don’t have confidence in ourselves, our lack of judgement means nothing. It simply reveals that we don’t have the confidence to speak our minds yet. Only when we can freely say what is on our minds, but choose a more compassionate route, then we can recognise the destructive nature of thoughtless, or even punitive, criticism. It fuels our own feelings of (false) superiority, as it perpetuates how strongly our egos influence us, which will make it more difficult to overcome the urge to criticise later on in life.

7. Stop Trying To Impress

There are many things that we do simply to fit it. Yet, as we bow to peer pressure to find social acceptance, we often fail to acknowledge that whoever we are attempting to impress would not accept us otherwise. People hide themselves for countless reasons…but it all goes back to the instinct for self-preservation that has allowed our ancestors to continue their line up to present day. To avoid pain, we do as is expected of us…Not because it is right or serves a higher purpose, but because it leads to some form of positive experience. It creates the short-lived pleasures that come with popularity. However, we should ask ourselves, whether it is worthwhile.

What good are friends, when they do not care for your problems or help you resolve them? What good is popularity, if you have to resort to extreme measure to achieve it? In truth, it is less painful to simply be yourself. If they do not accept you, then that is their loss. If they demean you, then eventually they’ll wreak the consequences of their actions. That should not concern you, nor should you go out of your way to be accepted by those that’ll drop you when the going get tough. It is better to face a thousand problems by yourself than to stand inside a crowd of people, who’d pretend to help but can’t be asked when the time comes.

Accept yourself by seeing how wonderful you are without the need to impress anyone, even yourself. Don’t lower your ethical standards, but don’t expect others to meet them, even if you raise the bar too high. Not everyone is a saint. Not everyone is a sinner. Sometimes people feel more comfortable floating in-between the two without conforming to either. Moreover, when we are trying to impress, two things generally happen: Firstly, we are pretending to be more than we perceive ourselves to be without becoming it. Secondly, we often become preoccupied with the opinions and quick judgement calls of others. In essence, we begin to value how we appear to others over who we actually are. With all that pressure, things are bound to escalate beyond our control eventually. Also, the higher we elevate ourselves (above our current state of development) the lower we shall fall… Pretence is never a suitable beginning for any relationship. As things progress, we will ultimately gather the courage to be ourselves in that relationship and that is often when the other person feels that they have been mislead. Worse comes to worst, they will feel as if they have been deceived and it will take some time to trust in that relationship again.

Nobody is perfect. However, who you are now will be enough to naturally impress the people that you are meant to surround yourself with. There is more to you than the eye can see. Although you may not notice, others do. What you consider as typically unimpressive can easily blow minds, if you allow yourself just to be you…without the social need to fit in or be accepted. In addition, you are generally more than you think you are. You are everything. If that is not ‘good enough’, then others have to re-examine their expectations. If their view of relationships or their expectation of you is unrealistic, moving entire mountains ranges does not change their perception of reality…Often only life-altering experiences can, but they may lose their mind a little beforehand, while they struggle to process the experience.

Conclusively, leaving a decent impression happens within seconds. We do not need to speak or even make eye-contact. It is all up to our preconceptions. It depends on how we perceive the world, which is rarely the way that it actually is. Don’t fall into that trap. Open your mind to the possibility that your senses can deceive you, as they probably have before. What you value in others may not lead to a positive end. If others wish to impress you by having a top-of-the-line car, apartment or high-paid job, then what does that say about them? What does it say about you, if you are that easily manipulated by appearances? Let yourself see another person for who they are deep inside, not what they say or what they own. It should be noted that what may impress some, generally achieves exactly the opposite with others. Whereas it is almost standard to have a basic set of things, such as work, shelter, TV and so on, countless members of society have been bereft of such opportunities. For example, the large number of veterans that live on the streets with severe forms of untreated PTSD. We often judge the homeless as drug-users, mentally ill or simply waste, although we know nothing about their history. We do not even take the time to investigate why so many men, woman and children live on the streets without any support to escape their situation, as the number continues to rise. What impresses them is a simple smile from a stranger or a kind word, when generally all they get from passers-by is evils shot in their direction. In other words, those that have nothing are more easily impressed by the simplest of things, which most take for granted. So, it is not important to portray a specific image as to leave a good impression, it is important to develop the courage to just be yourself. In our society, that is enough to shock, turn heads and blow minds.

8. Embrace Change

(Resistance Is Futile)

Nothing in this world is permanent. We may believe that our life shall remain the same forever, but that is a fallacy. Change happens every minute of every day, if we realise it or not. As soon as we understand that our way of adapting to change is more important than the change itself, we may come to see that beyond all this superficial change…Nothing ever changes. Leaders are still puppets led from behind the shadows. The currency exchange still short-changes us and has since Babylonian times. Enemies may change, but the hidden purpose behind warfare does not. Our history has not only been re-written to suit the victor, much of it has been deleted. Change is inevitable, but beneath the surface, little changes. When we realise this, we can embrace change as a challenge, however bad our situation may get. We may die tomorrow, but in truth not even death changes us. It may leave an impression on our consciousness. It may change our form in the next life, but who we were hasn’t changed. Our predispositions and predilections remain. We can only change by realising the changeless, timeless nature of all that is. Beyond what we carry with us this life or the following, we are infinite potential in a determined state of probability. What that means is, underneath all that which seems to be set in stone, nothing has been determined. Without consciousness, matter dwells in an undetermined state of probability…it becomes everything and nothing. The dice are rolling, but they will never fall. Our nature cannot change, because the nature of the multi-verse and that which it originates from cannot change. It exists prior to change.

In Sanskrit, the word for time is ‘kala’, which stands for both, time and change. In Indian psychology, the passage of time represents physical, psychological and emotional change. Without space-time, change is impossible. Where or when should it occur? Change is a phenomenon that is inherently connected to the concept of time as well as space. Without them, existence takes an entirely different shape. For example, each universe is dependent upon the one that came before it. Although some support life whereas other do not, one cannot manifest without the other. In a dualistic reality, everything manifests in opposites. On a larger scale, this is often depicted as many interconnected worlds. However, prior to this chain effect of worlds that we have coined the multi-verse, there is the source from which they all originate. So far, the only possible source of all these worlds is light. So far, it is the only theory that is mathematically plausible. However, what does that say about our ever-changing reality? It implies that everything we see is an illusion…A trick of light that fools our senses into perceiving the unreal as real.

When we attempt to question or define the nature of time and/or change, we rarely take into account that resistance is futile. We can scream, cry or aim to bend reality according to our will, but inevitably we have to reach a point of acceptance. Only by accepting that which we cannot change or have no control over may we find peace with how things appear to us right now. After that, we may eventually understand nothing is beyond our control, but only if we realise that there is nothing to control to begin with but ourselves. As difficult as it may be to reconcile these opposing viewpoints, we can only do so by getting to acquainted with our true self. The formless Self that existed prior to time.

So, back to the question, what is change? And how can we adapt to it more easily? Truth be told, by detaching from how its temporary nature affects our presence of mind. As long as our inner peace is dependent upon external factors, it is non-existent… Worse, it changes with the wind. Today, we may feel as if we are the king of the world. Tomorrow, we may become the beggar that has no choice, control or power about anything. Like the waves in the ocean, our life goes up and down. Therefore, resilience to change is not only beneficial to overcome how change can negatively influences us, it is essential. Furthermore, the moment, we accept, the impermanence of everything around us, we can free ourselves from all these time constraints. There is no time-limit to our existence. There is only the illusion of it that binds us.

When I first began to understand the true nature of Karma, I also learnt that time occurs simultaneously. Bear in mind that karma is cause and effect. It is not restricted to punishing you in this life for the actions committed in the last life. That is not how karma works. You are only reaping what you sowed in the last life, because it ended. Theoretically, if you lived for hundreds of years or had an infinite lifespan, you’d still suffer the effects of your actions. Simply with conscious knowledge of them. However, there is a catch. If time is simultaneous, as is karma. This means that without time, cause and effect equally exist as one. The cause becomes the effect and vice verse. Without meditation on the subject or some extraordinary experience, it can be difficult to understand, but it is worth exploring, if you have difficulty adapting to change.

By understanding the nature of cause and effect, it is slowly fathomed what space-time actually is. Although we perceive time as a physical measurement, it is a characteristic that can only take form in physical existence. Not existence in itself, which is inherently non-physical, but an existence that sprung forth from the source of all existences. I know what you must be thinking, she’s off her rocker. In any case, contemplate the reality behind what you have just read, even if you have to go back and re-read it multiple times. (I’ve been there with much weirder concepts lol) Reality is multi-faceted, as is truth, when everything is relative. However, as soon as we pass from the relative to the absolute, that is no longer the applicable. (Metaphysics, eh…) Prior to duality, there is non-duality. A state, in which change, space and/or time is non-existent. The properties of our consciousness are non-dual in essence, but that can be difficult to realise when we are drawn from one extreme to other. All aversions and attachments that seemingly shape our individual consciousness are mere impressions. They are footprints on the beach that will be swept away by the waves of time. The more we adapt to change, the less we are affected by things that would otherwise leave an impression. Our changeless nature prior to the multi-verse is acutely aware of all properties in all the worlds that is has created and/or destroyed. There is nothing that it is unfamiliar with or does not understand… Nothing is new to it and nothing can be hidden from it. Change is simply a point of realisation that we have yet to pass through, until we reach a level of being, where we can adapt to anything at a moments notice without hesitation.

9. Lose The Labels

“The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” Wayne Dyer

We cannot violate the laws of nature. Even if we woke up tomorrow with the one thing that we perceive as the most unnatural quality in the whole of the universe… It is inaccurate understanding of nature that encourages us to label specific aspects of the world. Good and evil, right or wrong, for example. Evil is a point of perception. For a Muslim, slaughtering animals for food is his divine right in accordance with divine law. For a Hindu or Buddhist, the slaughtering of an animal for a single meal has karmic repercussions, unless it fulfills a physical need that if unmet harms the body. (Hence, Buddhist hold a ceremony at the end of adolescence that marks the point, where the body does not require meat any longer to develop its faculties. However, they are very careful to compensate for the lack of maintenance through physical sustenance through detailed methods.) What we perceive as evil depends on our state and level of consciousness. Our world does not collectively function on a level of higher consciousness, as is ensured by a small elite. However, that does not mean attaining a state of higher consciousness is impossible. It is simply more difficult with greater consequences and/or benefits.

Labelling things may seem to make things easier, but it cannot lead to higher consciousness or true happiness. We cannot use language to describe that which exists prior to the mind. Language or thought cannot fathom the source of all existence. Obedience to social principles may lure us into a false sense of happiness, if we are the ones enforcing them, but as long as they are successfully enforced upon us, they inhibit our growth. As long as we use labels, we cannot see reality for what it is. Everything, if we focus on it long enough, leads to the that which exists beyond to reality. The reality that existed prior to all reality.

Labels are an expression of inequality. From a non-dual point of view, good and evil, for instance, are one. From a causal viewpoint, evil exists because good men fail to act. Be that as it may, opposites can only exist in a relativistic existence. Outside of that existence, they merge. When we label something, it once again reveals more about ourselves than it does about the object/subject in question. We don’t see things as they are. Understanding them is often too much time as well as effort. So, we use a few words at most to label it and file it away in our minds. This limits us more than it helps us, unless labels become a means to further explore the matter. The only use labels have is to train the mind into thinking ahead by discerning our perception toward the nature of a thing and where that will lead us.

Some people in this world don’t realise that we create our own suffering. As long as we view our reality in terms of labels…(or in terms of ownership for that matter) that will not change. When we begin to see things as either conducive or restrictive for your growth, we begin to see that labels are more restricting to our development than we previously thought.

Labels uncover our preferences. Our preferences, in turn, reveal our attachments, aversions and ignorance, which is often rooted in desire. What we views as good depends on our likes and dislikes, but only as long as our perception is clouded. When we see things clearly, we are beyond like and dislike for no reason other than like or dislike. We begin to use our minds to reason why we like or dislike something or someone. In doing so, we transform preference into self-knowledge, which is the only means overcome unhealthy habits that’ll cause more suffering than they are worth.

10. Give Up Fears, Insecurities & Anger

“There are fears of various types which keep us secretly unhappy, and many of the activities of life in the conscious level are attempts to brush aside these fears; and then we imagine that they do not exist at all. We occupy ourselves so busily with works of various types as a kind of outlet or counteracting power against these fears, usually known in the language of psychology as defence mechanisms. We protect ourselves by certain psychic mechanisms which we have formed within ourselves as a kind of self-deception, we may say, finally. This is the attitude of the ostrich which is said to bury its head in the sand when it is threatened with any kind of fear outside. It hides its head in the sand so that it cannot see things outside, and when nothing is seen outside, it thinks that nothing exists outside. This is not merely the ostrich’s way but, perhaps, the attitude of every human being when he is faced with insoluble difficulties. The problems are mostly in the unconscious level; they are not always on the conscious surface. It may not appear to us that they exist at all. We are comfortably placed in a sensory world wherein the senses are fed to surfeit, and they keep us completely ignorant of the dangerous abyss through which we may have to pass in the future stages of our life. We are brainwashed by the impetuous activities of the senses to such an extent that we cannot be aware of what is ahead of us, what may happen tomorrow, because if we can be awakened to the fact of all things that are to be faced in the future, we may perish just now with a fear of it, and Nature does not want anybody to die like that, as it would defeat its purpose. Nature keeps everything as a secret and lets the cat out of the bag only when necessary.”

Keep the desire, power and emotion at arms length… As long as we are too caught up in the ups and downs of life, we are not embracing the process of life. Everything has its reason, as do negative emotions. We cannot confront our fears, if we don’t know where to start. We cannot truly be secure in ourselves, if we do not believe in ourselves. Last but not least, we cannot calm our temper, if we don’t know what exactly it is that pushes our buttons. That notwithstanding, there are a few important things to note first. All emotions are temporary, when they are based in things that cannot last by their nature. True happiness is all-pervading and ever-present. It is the height of bliss and the foundation of peace. It is the source of all joy, even corrupted versions of itself. Moreover, the joy that we feel has its roots in spirit. Our fears, anger and insecurities do not. In spirit, we are calm, fearless and secure.

Our fears are revealing, when it comes to our aversions. For example, fears of water is often related to a fear of drowning, which inadvertently comes from a fear of pain and death. Most fears exist as a result of a negative experience that has left a deep impression. (In children, fears without apparent cause can be related to past life experiences) To lessen these impression, we must confront them. Let fear be your teacher. If we fear spiders or rats, then simply being with one on the other end of the room is a good place to start. Eventually, we may realise that our fear is unfounded or we may understand where that fear comes from. Beyond discomfort, our desire to avoid something often speaks to its negative potential. Certain spiders and snakes carry poisonous venom that kills, but the majority have become extinct as a result of our modern lifestyle. Unless you are reading this from some remote jungle, lugging around your own wifi emitter that connects straight to a satellite, (or live near one), then it is doubtful that you will be exposed to such a danger anytime soon. Fear clouds our judgement, and often makes exposure more likely. As long as we remain calm, we are in total control of our faculties, which makes us more adept at dealing with the situation at hand. In life, there is nothing to fear, as long as you know deep within yourself that you will survive whatever comes, even death. Our spirit existed prior to eternity… In other words, the eternal duration of all of time and space. Nothing can harm it. All fear does is inhibit peace, love and understanding, when the bliss that comes from general ignorance wears off.

We only feel truly secure in ourselves, when we free ourselves from fear, self-doubt and anger. The world could crumble around us, but that feeling of inner safety remains. We feel safe in spirit. More accurately, we feel safe when we are in contact with our own spirit, as it is the same spirit that pervades all things. It is the purest and holiest… Yet, it never takes form. We cannot touch it, we can only be absorbed by it. (But those are just words that can never compare to a fragment of an experience involving the Universal Spirit)

Anger, in the simplest of terms, is a buildup of energy. It accumulates and blows. The more it blows, the more it accumulates. Anger is a tool that serves a purpose, but not a wholesome one. It’s physiological effects are distructive and its poisonous effects on the mind are well documented. Without control, anger leads to verbal and physical violence that wreaks damage, which cannot be undone. The reason behind our anger is often cold and methodical. In the unconscious, our reasoning can be so simple and straightforward that we so easily overlook it. However, anger can just as easily be used as a means to distract from an issue. In any case, detaching is a necessary means to understanding its root. If our anger is rooted in a fear of confronting something or someone, then we must do so. If our anger is over wasted opportunities, then we must create new ones. As soon as we realise that we can deal with anger more creatively, our mind quickly gets the hang of it. It begins to adapt to situations without extreme emotion, but calm determination.

Christmas is…


Christmas is not just once a year. Every minute of every hour is Christmas. The Spirit of Christmas dwells within us all year round…Christ or Saint Nicolaus are merely a symbol for something much greater and much more significant. Christmas is a time of giving and receiving. A time, where we remember what is important, but when that happens only once a year, we are depriving ourselves of something very valuable…The Root of True Happiness.
Goal of Life
The ultimate achievement in life is perfect equality. A world, in which every man, woman and child is well cared for, content and eager to contribute with limitless opportunities. A world, in which the physical, mental and emotional needs of the people are provided for…at least once a year.

Historically, when a state demonstrates that it cares for its people and not merely desires them to become a functional member in society for another taxpayers payday, its citizens far are more educated, content and selfless. When the government engages in random acts of kindness that affect every single person, the collective displays a greater levels of commitment toward its leaders. Their desire to revolt and inclinations toward violence are diminished significantly, as their awareness of how the seeds of corruption grow from within reaches its peak… The psychological trauma inflicted upon powerful leaders reverberates back onto society. Although they may proclaim the most honourable of intentions, they still feel as if they have every reason to rebel against the majority for the actions of a small minority… Men, such as Scrooge, are not forged in a day. Children rarely exhibit sadistic, narcissistic or malignant tendencies without a trigger event. It is an act of providence that leaders rise to the top from nothing, but it is a miracle if they do so without any form of hostility toward the past.

From a historical standpoint, communities would gather during winter for additional food, drink and heat. Before it was a time for worship, it was a time for togetherness. The Spirit of Christmas is one of healing and self-realisation, associated predominantly with temperatures that psychological put us on edge. In the back of the mind, our survival instincts to seek warmth, shelter and company to combine resources has lingered all this time. Although we perceive these tendencies to be dormant relics of an ancient past, they influence us unconsciously. As the heat of the summer dissipates and the leaves begin to fall, we feel the change of the seasons…We are reminded of the passage of time. At times, it even forces us to confront our own physical mortality. However, without physical security, which includes financial prosperity at the coldest time of the year, Christmas is a time for new beginnings that take root in unspeakable hardship. Not all fairy tales end in a happy-ever-after in this world… Perhaps, the hereafter, dependent upon what you choose to believe.

More importantly, our physical needs are mere manifestation of our psychological longing. Sustenance, security, togetherness, intellectual growth and the search for meaning are all rooted in a kind of unity, which marks the cessation of desire and suffering. What we seek is not survival, love, immortality or peace, but the true Spirit of Christmas: Self-Realisation.

The Shamanic Origin of Christmastime


The tradition of Christmas dates back further than the birth of Christ. Before the pagan rituals that celebrated the winter solstice, the ancient shamans, dressed in a red gown, rejoiced as the entire community came together at the coldest time of the year…

The shamanic origins of Christmas begin with the indigenous people of Siberia that herded Reindeers. Their ancestors still continue this tradition, although the Sixth Mass Extinction threatens their natural habitat. Although some shamanic cultures ultimately became Pagan, other cultures were more geographically isolated, which inadvertently shielded them numerous socio-political changes that remodelled the ancient belief structures of specific nations.

Meaning of the Term

The phrase “at Christmas-Time” is more frequently used to hint toward the 24-25th of December, yet there is a deeper meaning… The term “Christmas” developed over time. In Old English, “Christmas” was spelt and written in two seperate words: “Christ-Mæsse”, meaning “Mass of Christ”. It referred to the Roman-Catholic Church service that we nowadays just call ‘mass’. However, in those times, mass was interpreted differently… During the coldest time of the year, many losses were felt in the community as a result of the increased exposure to the elements. At any time throughout history, church service was commonly associated with birth and death. A time, when we experience a loss of control, which leads us to search for meaning, and perhaps a deeper purpose.

Historically, Roman-Catholic mass honours the death of its saviour, Jesus Christ, which wiped the slate for humanity. All sins were forgiven. Mankind was saved from natural destruction. Yet, by continuously focusing on the crucifixion of Christ, the tradition of Christian mass has become a sacrificial death-ritual, in which the subject of worship dies over again over again…

That which we fail to realise about these doctrines is, both, birth and death occur simultaneously at every minute of every hour. With every second, we die and with every second, we are reborn.

“In a relativistic existence, birth and death are not merely a matter of cause and effect, they are manifestations of that which existed prior to relativity. For the point that we’re trying to make, even duality. The human mind perceives the passage of time as a sequence of moments, but only because our consciousness interprets it in this manner. For instance, without space-time, the practitioner, the subject and the act of worship would become one. There would be no boundaries between them. The past, present and future of them would become more than simultaneous. One couldn’t discern where one ends and the other begins, nor would one desire to.”

As you know, Christmas in itself has many different names as well as long-forgotten origins that are all derived from ancient religious and/or spiritual customs…of which countless made their way into theoretical/applied science. However, In their bare essence, they all share aspects of prayer, celebration, liturgy and veneration.

Christmas Several Times Per Day

If you are Pagan,
Every moment of every day is yuletide.

If you are Christian,
Every second is Christmas

If you are Jewish,
Every moment is Chanukah.

If you are Hindu,
Every breath is Dwali.

If you are an Atheist,
Every passing minute is an opportunity to celebrate the present.

There was an age, when Christmastime was several times each day. Every time, the Roman Catholic Church held a service. Every time, a disciple of the faith knelt in solemn prayer…it was Christmastime. Yet, this interpretation has faded into the background, as it is not commercially-viable to sell Christmas all year round under the guise of a spiritual theme, which inadvertently implies corporations would be required to share their profits with organised religious institutions.

It’s a celebration in itself, when we seize the opportunity to express our gratitude for life, the universe and everything, when we take the chance to perform a selfless act of kindness without expecting anything in return or when we dedicate ourselves to something greater than ourselves. We don’t need Churches, Temples or Mosques to practice such a faith, as we carry it with us everywhere we go… However, when we practice religion in this fashion, our beliefs become us. If God is Love or Peace, then so are we. If God is Wrath, then so are we. We become one with our interpretation of what which we worship by concentrating our energies through our perception…but in so doing, we often forget that the Spirit of an object or subject is intangible and unknowable by default. We attempt to understand that which cannot be understood, for it is understanding.

With every breath, the spirit of the seasons comes and goes, in the form of the all-pervading Multiversal Spirit. That is the essence of Christmas. It is a Oneness that permeates all, which cannot be described in words, it can only be felt with the heart…and not only once a year, but all year round…

Can We Know The Absolute Truth?


Was there a time in your life, in which you questioned your loyalty to those around you or even to yourself? Although it is bound to occur sooner or later, it happens far too early and far too frequently for some. The reason for this is not the devolution of society, community or the family unit, but rather the concept of “knowing” itself.
In order to know anything, we must adhere to the same principles as the observer effect, which it turn means that knowing shares some of the same implications.

In the realm of physics, everything has a cause and yields an effect. Ergo, everything happens for a reason, even if the reason does not seem all that apparent. In probablistic algorithms, this includes the act of learning that ultimately leads to the attainment of further knowledge in the future. Consider this process in slow motion:

  1. Introduction – the place and time we encounter the subject or object in question, incl. surrounding events leading up to that very moment.|
  2. Development of Interest – the instant our curiosity is peaked.
  3. Assimilation of Information – the more interested we are, the more we begin to learn about the subject or object.
  4. Interpretation Through Perception – After much information gathering, we draw a conclusion based on what we know.
  5. Repeat Process

When perceive knowing from this standpoint, how we trust becomes a consequence of a long-winded thought process, starting at the beginning of our individual consciousness.

Without the fundamental knowledge about an object or subject, we are only able to draw a finite number of conclusions. So, at times, we are lulled into complacency and trust on faith….However, instead of an assent of the mind to the truth, our blind reliance on others can carry a steep price, if we are not careful.

In any case, the tendency to trust too easily as well as the inability to trust are a symptom of a larger problem. These opposite ends of the “trust spectrum” also happen to address a rather relevant philosophical conundrum that may bridge the gap between the two extremes: the absolute aspects of “knowingness” in relative space-time.

On this note, we arrive at the question what is knowing? The term dates back to the 14th century, when the adjective was defined as “with knowledge of truth”, which leads us to ask, what is truth? Now, truth exists in two forms in a dualistic universe or universe with a circular spectrum: (1) relative and (2) absolute. In both forms, truth is often equivalated with proper awareness. Conversely, what we define as proper is determined by social standards. Our oldest understanding of proper means to be adapted to some purpose. In ideal world, the purpose would be honourable, filled with noble intentions to shape a world free from suffering. Yet, in any society, the purpose is swayed by mainstream information. Ultimately, this purpose can eiher bring us toward or further away from expanding our consciousness. Even when we are in a state of apparent stagnation, there is still movement in the form of tempero-spatial progression. In simple terms, our consciousness still perceives what is happening as sequence of events within the space time continuum from our individual perspective. This often comes with an involuntary confirmation bias, in which we interpret reality in a way that confirms our personal as well as collective preconceptions. Hence, we draw conclusions in the absence of experiential evidence prior to the self. Far too often, we do not even attempt to verify what we think to be true.

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In addition, at higher levels of consciousness, all-time occurs simultaneously while all-space converges. All that was, is or could ever be happens all at once as a seemingly singular, interconnected movement known as our universe. In essence, our universe is the result of a chain-reaction, from which gazillions of possibilities unfold, but onle one can manifest.
When we stand further back to perceive our universe as just one possible form of existence, we are simply one string interweaved in a myriad of others. We could argue, all of which are circular and explore the implications. We could envision a cascade of never-ending existences, trying to imagine what they would be like. However, we can only know by being…through that long-winded battle of striving to attain a state of infinite existence and succeeding…

To clarify, our universe is merely a tiny ripple in a vast cosmic sea of possible realities, just as we are a tiny ripple in the bottomless ocean of society. So, all we know seems circumstantially relative, but becomes much more definitive when we translate knowledge into action. For example, we can think the Earth is flat but when we hop into a spaceship to check, it’ll be an oblate spheroid. Push come to shove, what we know is only as true as our ability to prove the fact. Put in context with our societal hierarchy, this implies that our knowlege is only as good as how we present our case. Whether we are speaking the truth sadly doesn’t matter as much as it should. Though we can change that through nurture, we can’t change nature. For instance, we can create an environment, in which we foster open-mindedness and curiosity, but we can’t force everyone to be tolerant to each other around the clock every day. When ideas collide in the search for the absolute truth, there is going to be fallout and the ego will be the first casualty. So, the most important rule in our search is to leave our ego behind. In doing so, we don’t argue as much as we try to understand where the other person is coming from.

Who The Fuck is Right?

Your truth, my truth, who the fuck is actually right at the end? Honestly, both but no one. We may understand the manner, in which a person perceives anything, yet we can never be certain that they aren’t lying to themselves. We might believe we know another inside out, just to realise eventually that we never truly knew them at all. Everything is relative, capable of being interpreted in the exact opposite way. It is a simple matter of subjective experience, giving rise to relative truths.
For example, in the case of eyewitness statements, this becomes deadly apparent. Although everyone involved witnessed the same incident, the descriptions wildly differ. While our recollections are only as reliable as our memory, how and what we remember depends greatly on our thought processes. In fact, our thoughts shape our memory not only through neuronal connections, but through the reason why we interpret things the way we do.

To be who we are means constant effort for our body and mind. From birth onward, we develop and maintain an identity, dependent on conditional factors. People, events and the world helps mould what we have already become. So, without the occurrence of certain defining moments, we cease to be the current version of ourselves.
Our mind is endlessly processing what has, is and may happen. Content continuously rises to the surface and falls underneath the line of conscious or voluntary recollection. We never stop forgetting and remembering, unless we still the mind completely. Moreover, it takes persistent practice to be present in the now. We must be consistent in our effort to care more for the truth than our personal interpretation.
For what it’s worth, we rarely notice how our own personal perception of reality creates bias in our judgement of what we believe to be the truth. We forget to consider sides to a subject, for instance, because we associate negatively with them. We overestimate the importance of specific factors due to positive experiences in the past. From a primal standpoint, our physical, emotional and social survival relies on remembering some things but forgetting others. Through the evolution of our consciousness, however, we can choose to do neither. We can position ourselves on the fine line in between. We can be vigilant without judging ourselves or those around us. We can just be in the moment, observing…contemplating the absolute truth from within the confines of relative existence…But it wouldn’t be enough.

To discern something as complex as the absolute truth from a version of the relative is not a simple task. To know the absolute truth about ourselves, we need to remove the influence of all relative aspects that make up our personality. This is also a rather painful key to lasting happiness in yogic non-attachment practices. To discover the absolute truth about the many worlds, we must delve into the origin, nature and purpose of existence prior to the relative. If all is mind, then truth is a multi-faceted, collective construct. It contains ego-destroying layers of personal perspectives from every possible angle inside a vast consciousness, whose probability of ending is zero…So, are you ready?

What is Love?


The concept of love predates mankind as a species. Some claim, it is even older than time itself. Whereas our ancestors knew mutual respect, comradeship and shared understanding is essential to the continued survival of their tribe, we believe we perceive love in a more sophisticated light…but do we, really?

“One result of the mysterious nature of love is that no one has ever,
to my knowledge, arrived at a truly satisfactory definition of love.”

However, nothing can restrain the curiosity of spirit. Over the epochs, we have attempted to fit love into various categories, such as eros, philia, agape; perfect love and imperfect love and so on…In a very real sense trying to understand love is attempting to examine the unexaminable and to know the unknowable. It is different every time and with every person in very apparent but also quite subtle ways. Overall, love is too large, too deep ever to be truly understood or measured or limited within the framework of words. Its versitable, adaptible nature makes it beyond the explainable.

Scott Peck defines love as the will to extend one’s self for the purpose of ones own and anothers spiritual growth. I, however, disagree slightly…It is the compulsion to do so…
By use of the word “will”, he tried to transcend the distinction between desire and action. Desire is not necessarily translated into action. Will is desire of sufficient intensity that it is translated into action. The difference between the two is equal to the difference between saying “I would like to…” and “I will….” Thefore, the want to love is not love itself. After all, love is as love does. We cannot choose who we converse well with on a platonic level, nor can we choose whom we fall in love with. By defining love as an of will, he inferred that it is an act of intention as well as action. He argues, he we dont have to love, as it is a choice. In my professional opinion, this is only partially true. What when we like someone very much, each day we see them but never pursue them because we have decided not to? We would continue to feel a great deal of affection toward them, there would simply be no desire translated into action, which is rather essential for the bonding process to begin.

Yet, before we continue as to the reason why, it must be noted that in many cases, we may be motivated by something other than love without conscious knowledge, and that what seems to be love is often not love at all. One of the major distinguishing features between what we perceive to be love and that which is real love is the conscious or unconscious purpose in the mind of the person. Furthermore, love is a strangely circular process, which we expand our consciousness in an evolutionary sense.
In other words, when we love, we extend our limits, give our all, or even learn to love parts of ourselves that we don’t.

The act of “loving” is an act of self-evolution even when the purpose of the act is someone else’s growth. It implies effort. We can only extend limits by exceeding them, but exceeding limits requires work. However, when we love someone, this exertion appears to make the connection demonstrably real. It can make any sacrifice worthwhile. Moreover, as a form of energy, love can power the extra step, we take for others, if we let it. Just beware, love is not effortless. To the contrary, love is effortful.

Falling in Love

“Of all the misconceptions about love the most powerful and pervasive is the belief that “falling in love” is love or at least one of the manifestations of love.”

It is a potent misconception, because falling in love is subjectively experienced in a very powerful fashion as an experience of love. While we are still wearing rose-coloured glasses, we perceive a romanticized image of the person rather than the person itself. When we fall in love what we certainly feels is “I love him” or “I love her.” More importantly, two complications become immediately apparent:

  1. The experience of falling in love is an intimate experience directly related to our sexual desires. We do not fall in love with just anyone. Even though we may love our family and friends very deeply, we do not fall in love with them on a whim. Often the attraction predates the decision to simply be friends. We typically fall in love only when we are consciously or unconsciously sexually motivated.
  2. The experience of falling in love is temporary. No matter whom we fall in love with, we sooner or later, we fall out of love should the relationship continue long enough. This is not to say that we ultimately cease loving the person, but the honeymoon phase ends and the rose-coloured glasses must be discarded.

To understand the nature of the phenomenon, it is necessary to examine the nature of our ego boundaries. As infants, we do not distinguish between ourselves and the rest of the universe. The animate and the inanimate are the same. There is no distinction yet between I and thou. We and the world are one. There are no boundaries, no separations. There is no identity, just personality traits in the early stages of development.
With experience, a sense of the “me” begins to develop. This interaction between the infant and the parents is believed to be the ground out of which the child’s sense of identity begins to grow. It has been observed that when the interaction between the infant and its parents is disturbed. For example, due to the breakdown of the family unit [i.e. when there is no parent, no satisfactory substitute or when because of their own mental illness, they are uncaring or uninterested, then the infant grows into a child or adult whose sense of identity is lacking in the most basic ways.]

The development of such boundaries is a process that continues through childhood into adolescence and even into adulthood. Generally, the boundaries established later in life are more mental than physical. For instance, at every stage of life, we typically come to terms with the limits of our power on various levels. For instance, it is namely known as the “terrible twos” because of this learning curb. It is the hope and feeling of immediate gratification that can make any twoyear-old usually attempts to act like a tyrant and autocrat, trying to give orders and respond with regal fury when they won’t be dictated to. By the age of three the child usually accepts the reality of its own relative powerlessness.

“Still, the possibility of omnipotence is such a sweet, sweet dream that it cannot be completely given up even after several years of very painful confrontation with one’s own impotence.”

Although we come to accept the reality of our boundaries, we will continue to escape occasionally for some years into late adulthood.

Falling in love is the world of Batman and Captain America. By the time of mid-adolescence, we have already been conditioned that we are individuals, confined to the boundaries of our bodies and the limits of our power…that each one of us is a relatively frail and impotent organism, existing only by cooperation within a group of fellow organisms called society. Within this group, most of us are not particularly distinguished, but we often separate ourselves from others through our individual identities, boundaries or limitations.

In truth, it is lonely within the socratean confines of the fractured self. Some, particularly those who’ve suffered traumatizing experiences, perceive the world outside of themselves as unredeemably dangerous, hostile and unnurturing. Such people feel their ego boundaries to be a protecting and comforting influence. Through them, they find a sense of safety in their loneliness. However, the majority feel our loneliness to be painful, so yearn to escape from behind the walls of our individual identities to a condition in which we can be more unified with the world outside of ourselves. The experience of falling in love allows us this escape temporarily. The essence of the phenomenon of falling in love is a sudden collapse of a section of an individual’s ego boundaries, permitting one to merge his or her identity with that of another person.” We experience the sudden release of ourselves from ourselves. A surcease of loneliness accompanying this collapse of boundaries ensues and we feel freer than we did before.

In many respects, but certainly not all, the act of falling in love is an act of deep regression. The experience of merging with a loved one reminds us of a time when our identities were submerged in a unified state of universal consciousness. Along with the re-emergence of this microcosmic oneness, we also re-experience a sense of omnipotence which we had to give up in our journey to take form.

The unreality of these feelings when we fall in love is essentially the same as the illusion of separation. We feel the world at our fingertips with unlimited power at our disposal. However, just as reality intrudes upon the fantastical notion of omnipotence as an individual, so does reality intrude upon the fantastic unity of any couple in love. Sooner or later, in response to the problems or daily routine of life, our individuality reasserted itself. For example, he wants to have sex, she doesn’t. She wants to go out, he doesn’t etc.

Our desires are not always going to be in harmony with the wants of others. In the beginning, we can be who we are, pretending to accept and be accepted unconditionally, but honeymoon phase will ultimately pass. Over time, ego boundaries to snap back into place, which is when couples fall out of love. At this point they begin either to dissolve the ties of their relationship or initiate the process of real love.

Real Love

Actual love often occurs in a context in which the feeling of love is often lacking [i.e. hen we act lovingly despite the fact that we don’t feel all that affectionate].

Falling in love is not an act of will. It is not a conscious choice. No matter how open to or eager we may be for it, the experience may still elude us. Contrarily, it may capture us at a time when we are not seeking it, when it is inconvenient or even undesirable. We are as likely to fall in love with someone with whom we are obviously ill-matched as with someone more suitable. Indeed, we may not truly like or admire the object of our passion, just as we may not be able to fall in love with a person whom we deeply respect and with whom a relationship would be a decent match in all ways. This is not to say that the experience of falling in love is immune to discipline. To be frank, we are usually able to abort the collapse of our ego boundaries and give up our romantic interest. The struggle involved can be enormous. Furthermore, such a strategy is frequently recommended by mental health professionals, when a liaison is dangerous, self’destructive or inappropriate for either person.

Only disciplined will can control the experience, but it cannot create it.

In other words, we can choose how to respond to the experience of falling in love, but we cannot choose the who, how or when. We can’t control the nature of the experience itself.

Whereas falling in love is a partial and temporary collapse of ego boundaries, love is permanently self-enlarging experience. The extension of our limits requires effort. Once the comparatively short moment of falling in love has passed, we are usually none the wiser for the experience. When limits are extended or stretched, however, they tend to stay stretched. While falling in love has little to do with purposively nurturing our spiritual development or that of others. If we have any purpose in mind when we fall in love, it is to escape our own loneliness. We are certainly not thinking of enlightenment. Perhaps, after we have fallen in love and before we have fallen out of love again…

It is through reaching toward evolution that we evolve .

Falling in love is in fact very close to real love. The misconception that falling in love is a type of love is so potent precisely because it contains a grain of truth.

The experience of real love also has to do with ego boundaries, since it involves an extension of one’s limits. One’s limits are one’s ego boundaries. When we extend our limits through love, we do so by reaching out, so to speak, toward people, whose growth we wish to nurture. For us to be able to do this, we must first be attracted toward, invested in and committed to an object outside of ourselves, beyond the boundaries of self.

When we bond with an object outside of ourselves, we also incorporate a representation of that object into ourselves. For example, let us consider any hobby. When we develop an interest in something, like cooking, we start small but before we know it, we “love” doing it. Preparing our own meals instead of microwaving pre-processed junk gradually means more to us. We invest in learning the skills involved in performing that particular activity in order to improve. We inadvertantly learn a great deal about our abilities [i.e. strengths, weaknesses, how to overcome the limitations of either…]. We also understand more about our environment as well as the people surrounding us. For instance, historical context, preferences, problems, future possibilities etc.
Despite the fact that the act happens outside of us, through our attention to it, it comes to exist within us. Our knowledge of it and the meaning it has for us are part of him, part of our identity, part of our history, part of our wisdom. In doing so, we have incorporated it in quite a real way within ourselves, and through this incorporation, we expand our consciousness.
What transpires then in the course of many years of “loving”, of extending our limits in the act, is a gradual but progressive enlargement of the self, an incorporation within of the world without, and a growth, a stretching and a thinning of our ego. In this way, the more and longer we extend ourselves, the more we love, the more blurred becomes the distinction between the self and the world. We become identified with the world. And as our ego boundaries become blurred and thinned, we begin more and more to experience the same sort of feeling of ecstasy that we have when our ego boundaries partially collapse and we “fall in love.” Only, instead of having merged temporarily and unrealistically with a single object, we have merged realistically and more permanently with much of the world.

…If Only…


If only I could express,
How much you mean to me…

If only you could be here with me,
Each time I need you…

If only we could be together,
Every now and then…

If only I could curl up into your arms,
Perhaps the night wouldn’t be so dark…

If only you could fill the empty void,
I feel inside of me…

If only our eyes could meet,
And I could feel again…

If only for a moment…

What Is It That We Are All Living For? – A Personal Story


Have you ever spent day by day, wondering why? The answer has been explained in depth inside other posts…Self-Realisation. The experience of cosmic oneness that absorbs the experiencer and the experienced into itself.

Beyond that, what the fuck are we doing?

I dont know about you but I…well…I am perhaps the worst excuse of a human being. After so many years of doing what was expected, I ventured out on my own at the ripe age of 14…still conditioned to do what is necessary to survive in a hostile environment. Friendship was never a concept that was in the cards for me, neither were healthy relationships. After years of abuse, my stench of desperation pretty much drove everyone away.

Recently, I’ve felt a sense of hope, which reawakened dreams that perished long ago. Perhaps, things can change for the better after all. Perhaps, I’m just another anti-feminist, seeking true partnership instead oneupmanship…No matter what I am, I choose to live my life speaking my mind freely.

For this reason, I am sharing something deeply personal with you. It goes beyond the spiritual concepts, we strive for but can never make a utopian reality. We, as people, have strayed so far from our path…Social segregation has driven us to the brink of insanity followed by imminent genocide. When to know this is going on in the world means to be politically incorrect, what happens to the truth? It becomes the first casualty of a world war that is inbound.

I could never wrap my head around the sense behind it all. By the age of 15, I had lost everything. My home. My family. Any possible support network I could have had to process these losses with assistance…As time kept passing by the second, I felt as though the ground had shattered under my feet. Safety revealed itself to be an illusion maintained by the tallest thug in the room with the fighting experience to back his play and control the crowd.

For what it’s worth, I did not desist. I worked hard, read every book under the sun and began my journey into adulthood with little success. At a young age, I already took responsibility for people two or three times my age…and after nearly 15 years, several questions arose. Will it always be this way? Will anyone ever take care of me? Why am I still here, when I’m just living on borrowed time?

After I had been raped the first time, I told no one. Still haven’t. The responses from those I spoke to about an attempted rape at 14 were lacking more than merely compassion…so I learnt to keep stumm. Before that incident, I thought it could not get any worse. I had suffered the unspeakable at the hands of fanily, friends and strangers to the point I ceased to trust…However, when I least expected it, I fell in love. Someone had made the effort to convey over several hours of conversation that I could do anything with my life. I could aim for the stars. He’d given me hope, as I was about to give up. Initially, as things headed into a romantic direction, I fell back on my original conditioning…to please at any cost…but then he got me to trust him after a couple of years. Everything was looking up for the first time in over 6 years…until one night, when he returned home drunk out of his mind. After the second time by another person, it seemed less painful…less important. I wanted to tell, but I was numb. When intimacy was demanded from me, I would reciprocate…pretending to enjoy whatever the fuck was wanted with a smile. Personally, I thought that would never change.

The want for the pain to end is the primary cause behind all suicide. Nobody wants to die, but death is preferable over suffering. How do I know? During a dark night at 14, my mother had gone to bed. Again, I could not sleep. At that time, I had become accustomed to crying myself to sleep after extreme arguments that would last hours every day and would sometimes end in violence. I never hit back. I couldn’t, so I began to self-harm. In the end, it was a cycle of hurting myself for being hurt…until I tried to run away twice. When that didn’t work, I hoarded enough pills or what I thought was enough. After 10 years in the medical industry, I know better now, but then, I just couldn’t wait any longer. I was so desperate for the pain to end, I took the chance without a backup solution. Statistically, the more lethal the means of suicide, the more successful they are.

For what it is worth, I am fortunate it did not succeed. I was lucky to survive to process what drove me to such measures. Moreover, I survived worse after without resorting to further attempts.

Life is a whirlwind of experience. I would not wish for it to be any other way. Without the bad days, how could there be the good? We must never give up on ourselves or others. It is our solemn duty to squeeze the most out of life, just not at the expense of others. Be kind to those who’ve known to little kindness. Be bold to those who overstep their mark at the expense of others…and love unconditionally for the fucking hell of it.

We Are Awakening: A Treatise On Journeying In Time


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Coming Clean About Prolonged Fuel Poverty


There are many things in this world that we simply take for granted. When you can hardly afford food, then heating is not on top of the list during winter…Regardless how cold it may get. When I first began to compose my Masters dissertation, I barely made it through Christmas. Working was hardly an option after losing three jobs over not having hot water. At the time, a friend sat me down and gave me a talk about “self-respect”. With food and heating, he was only one of many to look down on me for not having the basic essentials. The cold had hardened me to the degree where I couldn’t have cared less about what we was saying. For him, fuel poverty was me punishing myself. He still does not realise fuel poverty has nothing to do with self-harming. Trust me, there are more effective ways, but it’s not like anyone actually cares about the reality of the poor. As a palliative care professional, I’ve seen many homes that were too expensive for the elderly to even contemplate heating. They couldn’t get out of bed to make a cup of tea, and countless carers just get orders to talk it through with them. Not help them. Not relocate them. Just have a talk about how they plan to change their situation… That disgusts me as much as it did then. Mainly, because they had no support or other options than to prepare for the inevitable. Their position was reduced to that of our ancestors, whom we abandoned when they were unable to withstand the extreme temperatures or could no longer continue with the nomadic lifestyle of the tribe. It was an honour for them to be left behind, sacrificing their lives so that their offsprings had a better chance at survival. Nowadays, it is no longer optional. We expect them to take one for the team, even if that means dying alone. Regardless of how old they are, they do not stand a chance in a time, when young people suffer the same ordeal.

The colder it gets, the more people feel a sense of peace and tranquility. Many don’t know that it is simply their bodies sharing information with the brain in a way that prepares them for whatever may come. Winter after winter, I tried to work from within the system to help, but then tragedy struck me. In many ways, it was poetic justice for my inability to do anything that would save lives. During the coldest of nights, when the temperatures dropped to -15C and I was struggling with extreme hypothermia, the thought that the end was nigh crept up at me. Believe it or not, I didn’t care. The cold does that… When all the heat was gone, as my head began to feel as light as cottonwool, I felt at peace. I wasn’t even 25 years old, but I had made my choice to study, when no one believed that I could, even if it would kill me. At least, I would die the way that I lived…without regrets for learnt lessons.
Before I lost consciousness that night, I prayed and then there was just a huge cut to black. I awoke in hospital, they couldn’t keep me for longer than a couple hours after I’d warmed up a little. So, they sent me on my merry way. After dragging myself back across town, whatever heat I had gained was fading fast. My stomach was empty and the only thing keeping me conscious was searing pain. A part of me knew that if the pain faded, I may lose consciousness and not wake up again.

By the time I actually turned 25, I had almost died three times. Once by knife. The second time, I almost drowned. And the third, through freezing. Near-death experiences at that point seemed more painful than actual death. Each time I was on the brink, someone would bring me back…and I was stuck to do it all over again. After all, I’m still very grateful for the help I received, but I just wanted it to be over. There was no improvement or compassion. The homeless and the poor rarely receive that. The higher echelons of society just view them as wastes of space, no matter how much they have contributed or how much they could still contribute given half a chance.

Last Words…

This winter is supposed to be much worse than the last three winters combined. With every winter, it becomes harder as much as my body acclimatises. The temperatures dropped close to zero before the end of October. Without being too melodramatic, every winter has become a chance for rebirth, for each winter could be my last. That’s the reality of fuel poverty… It is life or death for millions.

Despite all of this, I still work for people that the system has equally abandoned without payment for my services. There are days, even weeks, when simply walking or moving becomes excruciating, but except painkillers there’s nothing anyone can do. I’m no saint, nor am I a martyr, but for what it’s worth, I prefer to feel the pain, instead of taking the risk to spend my last moments dosed up, not knowing where up or down is… In the cold, a conscious death is not easy, but it is surprisingly peaceful. Like when you fall asleep in the snow, there comes a point, when you don’t feel your body anymore…you don’t want to think or move. Aacceptance is all there is. So, if you’re in a similar situation, don’t be afraid. Whatever happens, it is not the end for either of us.

This is probably the last thing that I’ll post for quite a while. I’m not writing this to scare anyone, I simply wish that when you read these paragraphs, it will inspire you to take a moment out of your busy schedule and celebrate your life. Many don’t get that opportunity before the ground shatters underneath their feet, so seize the present moment… All that we have can disappear in the blink of an eye without ever getting it back.

I hope you have a blissful winter. May the Great Spirit watch over you and keep you safe from harm.

All my love…

Death Is An Illusion


We often perceive death as the opposite of an explainable mystery. Death is not a cool puzzle designed to be solved, as long as it is depict as eternal nothingness. We only fade into nothingness, when our mind is empty, when our conscious, our unconscious and our collective consciousness has merged…when there are no more desires to be fulfilled as they have all been extinguished.

Energy is neither created nor destroyed, only transformed. Nothing truly dies…We always come back, and as soon as we realise this, we can choose to remember. Death is the process of consciousness transmigration that occurs when self-realisation has not yet occurred. In truth, we live, we die and we come back to repeat the cycle. Those that remember consciously display signs of what clinical psychologists refer to as delusions of grandeur…However, in the higher echelons of society, it is a well-established fact, which is carefully concealed from those that don’t know what they’re meant to be looking for.

Appearances are deceiving…We do not exist in a singular, solid form. In truth, we are formless. Our consciousness, which is the spirit of all existent and non-existent things, is Light. It is the light that shines across the whole of space-time from prior to the multiverse itself.

Light is Love. Light is Peace. Light is Knowledge…

And last but not least, Light is Existence.

Truth be told, we are at war. The hoardes of men that travel across the seven seas are strategically distributing themselves across the world… They do not seek multicultural diversity or refuge, they wish to establish their own ideology without the freedom of choice. Liberty is being engulfed by darkness, but light will always shine through. Who we are to them is irrelevant. Who we are to our leaders is irrelevant. Who we are and how we are perceived is but a passing phase. Our identity doesn’t change, simply because it is demanded of us. Our immortal soul is who we are on the surface of the cosmos, but who we truly are underneath is beyond description or even the concept of immortality. It is prior to the determining factors of our self-consciousness or individuality…

“Mathematically, the probability of consciousness ending is zero.” (Lipton, Bruce) Consciousness is the basis of existence. Furthermore, there is a reason it is often perceived to be without beginning or end. For the purpose of explaining something that is beyond thought and language, that which existed prior to space-time is often playfully described as nothingness or a void of cosmic oneness. However, it is not for those that have experienced anything close to such an indescribable concept…It is pure being. The essence of which pervades all.

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How We Sleepwalk Into Extinction


In modern times, we have an inaccurate understanding of just about everything…community, family, education, religion and so forth. We also no longer understand the teachings of the ancient Gods. Although many that have taken the time to read, translate and/or re-interpret old scripture will realise that this paves the way to ‘natural destruction’, there is always another path…

“You are not your body.”

What all the corporations around the globe focus on is how to manipulate your body-image…How to best play on your attachments and aversions. If there’s an inch of your body that you’re self-conscious about, they won’t teach you how to overcome it, since it would make them powerless against you.

Like any narcissistic psychopath, they bet on the fact that you’ll run scared into their arms, if they manipulate all your resources to create disease and eliminate all the competition. However, that which they cannot control is that which they have invested trillions into suppressing…and that’s your way out of this endless loop.

Their weakness is the same thing with which they are attempting to retain control: Ignorance, Blind Faith & Unquestioning Submission. For as long as you do not question the world around you, none of us can reshape this world into something greater. More importantly, none of us will ever find the whole truth.

To those with money, your body is an accessory that you’ll spend an infinite amount of finances to maintain, if you had the resources, but even if you don’t…The charities that you donate to funnel all the money, they receive, as far away from solving global problems as possible. In other words, you are being conned, ladies and gentlemen…and you have been for over a century.

The longest running con is religion, followed by money. If you believe in God, Allah or Abraham in Heaven, then you most likely never read the old texts too closely. The Gods we worship live in the Heavens, just not the ethereal plane that we visit before reincarnation/rebirth. In truth, they are as Alien to this planet now as we are, although they created it, but that’s beside the point…

My point is that we continue to proganitate an inaccurate perception of the body, which is becoming more unrealistic with every generation. In truth, that body is only a fragment of the cosmic body of consciousness that doesn’t actually exist in the manner that we currently perceive it. Existential debates aside, every cell in the body is inherently connected to an all-pervading awareness that goes deeper than the phenomenal world. It is noumenal in essence.

Noumenon: According to Shamanic, Indian and Kant’s philosophy, the term ‘noumenon’ refers to a thing as it is in itself, not perceived or interpreted, incapable of being known, but only inferred from the nature of experience.

This is not to say that you cannot know your body, but by knowing the true source of your body, you needn’t know any more… In fact, there’s nothing to know about something that never was, but the ego can easily get in the way of understanding this reality of the self. Your individual self is no different from the universal self, and until you realise this, you will continue to differentiate between your body and the cosmos. In terms of self-awareness, this dooms you to seemingly endless suffering that no one but you can alleviate.

“You are not your mind.”

When I first turned 18, I was given the most valuable lesson in my entire life: Whatever you think you know is wrong. Everything you have been taught is a lie. So, question everything from every angle, even if you’ll never prove a damned thing!

Approx. 95% of all conditions are psychosomatic… The rest are debatably environmental. The reason I insist that their origin is debatable is the same reason that hinders us from adapting more efficiently to man-made environmental changes. At a certain stage of consciousness development, an environment such as ours no longer has an effect on the body-mind complex… Full   consciousness realisation overcomes all things, even death. (Yeah, I’m a mind over matter crackpot lol) That being said, I’d never ask you to believe anyone’s word without proof, so please I welcome you to embark on your own journey to higher knowledge…and don’t stop until you can conclusively prove otherwise with physical evidence! (Good Luck)

Our comprehension of sanity, or even mental health, is insanity in disguise. In any other location of the universe, we could not survive or assimilate with this current mentality… (This is one of the reasons we are forbidden from colonising space, also why only very few of us reincarnate on other planets, but that’s a story for another time) By creating layers upon layers of false information, enlightenment appears almost impossible. Yet, it is not self-realisation that has become more difficult, it is the survival of the physical body throughout the journey. The people of India  understand that a sattvic diet (strictly vegetarian or vegan) is not challenging for those with money and self-control, but it is costly and harmful for those that live in poverty. Many starve themselves in order not to harm any living being. However, in so doing, they are harming themselves… Hundreds of thousands suffer from the effects of malnutrition and subsequently disease, which represents an one of countless obstacles to enlightenment.

One-pointedness is the single, underlying principle that can become an antidote for any obstacle. With one-pointedness of mind, no obstacle can hinder or distract the mind. Truth be told, if an object or individual cannot distract you, they’re less likely to interfere, yet that does not mean they won’t hinder you. If you cannot be distracted from self-realisation, you’ll often develop blank-spots. Old teachings describe this behaviour as a manifestion of ignorance as well as unconsciousness, but basically they’re saying  you have an aversion and/or attachment that you need to confront. For example, many spiritual teachers speak of Islam as a peaceful religion, when the empirical evidence of their imperial conquests (repeatedly documented throughout recorded history) prove otherwise. The foundation of Islam and the path to Allah can function as a gate to self-realisation, but only if you get passed all the religion. It is the same with almost every mainstream faith, while it preys on the vulnerable in search of deeper meaning.

There can be no love or peace without truth. So, where there is a shostage of honesty, ignorance, apathy and lack of understanding prevails. Moreover, political correctness has karmic repercussions. It perpetuates an inner conflict between your conscious and unconscious mind. Your collective unconscious knows the truth. Yet, for as long as you deny it, you’ll never go beyond the surface. An enlightened or a true leader would never utter words that would endanger what they perceive as a part of themselves, they would strive to show them the reality prior to (the multi-verse).

For right-wing readers, you are at one with your enemy. Whatever beliefs you may hold, everything is interconnected. Every event. All that was, is and will be. Every object and person. EVERYTHING that you can conceive with your minds. Prior to all this molecular interconnectedness,  all is one. So, beyond all misconceptions, frustration and tension, you are free. Always have been. Always will be. Only through this knowledge can one do battle properly.

For left-wing readers, save your breach. I am indifferent to them. All you are doing is disturbing your inner peace and disrupting your path to self-awareness by perpetuating the suffering of others. Go do something productive like save Corbyn from self-destruction. Until that point, every moment that you continue to deny the rape culture, which has festered for decades right on your doorstep, will lead others to feel more apathy to your suffering than you can  imagine. You are proactively going out of your way to injure victims of violent crime, so just stop. For the love of all that is decent, please just fucking stop…

“You’re not your emotions.”

I probably have caused some offence by now…So, I’m wholeheartedly apologetic, if I’m the first to be telling you all this. It should have been taught as a part of theoretical philosophy in primary school, but unfortunately we stopped educating future generations to do more than follow without question. (Pokemon Go, anyone?) For what it’s worth, if you reflect on what exactly rawed you up, it won’t be so easy next time. A lesson most are forced to learn the hard way.

If we are not our emotions, what are they? In quantum physics, emotions represent a subtle energies that are often transferred. When we’re angry, we project negative energy onto others that surpresses our and their immune system. When we’re friendly or kind, we project positive energy that strengthens our immune system and that of our conversational partner. When we’re indifferent, we don’t exchange more energy than necessary from a very minimalistic point of view. In other words, through hate, we relinquish power, strength and health. Through unconditional love/truth, we regain power, health and vitality.

Your emotions are far more powerful than you are led to believe. Many interpret and react to the daily reality of the world according to how it makes them feel, not through cold-hearted reason that defies the modern societal standards of logic. That which many don’t realise is inner, emotional freedom is a key to all forms of freedom. Once you no longer desire (or desire to avoid) anything, you realise the freedom, which is the real you. A freedom that can never be truly forgotten, seized or controlled.

The War Over Women’s Souls


The war to win over our thoughts, minds, bodies and even our souls has been ongoing for countless decades…and it won’t end anytime soon. However, the reactions to what we say, what we post and what we believe are far more revealing than our stance towards any given issue. Religion is not excluded from this. Although religion is a constant source of conflict, it is not religion that is the issue. It is our attitude towards it. Religion is freedom, which means that we must all find our own path to enlightenment and live with the moral consequences of our choices.
However, there far are more important issues at hand than a global crisis of faith… As our nations are arming up for war, unequal resource distribution is still running rampant. The little resources that we have are provided to economic migrants, while our own citizens are subject to poverty, starvation, sexual exploitation and exposure to the elements.

Any decent counsellor, therapist or doctor will confirm that silence is deadly, especially where hate crimes are concerned. Many homosexuals, transgenders, feminists and African-Americans can attest to the fact that they were punished violently for their life choices. Back then, most looked the other way. Now, these abhorrent hate-crimes have returned to our streets. Ironically, they highlight exactly what happens when a non-believer enters a Muslim country. The punishments sanctioned by law favours the dominant religion, as ours did for countless centuries. We are not accepting their religious laws, as our own, they are forcing them onto us, which is a crime against religious freedom.

No matter how many religious and/or spiritual practitioners adhere to peace, as long as they remain silent, the height of their numbers (and therefore influence) is irrelevant. They are complicit in crimes against humanity, dare I say, war-crimes (genocide) at the highest levels. If they were truly peaceful practitioners of Islam, as they claim, they would die beside us. They would throw themselves in front of extremists, as any good Christian, Buddhist or Hindu should, defending against an impending terror attack. In other words, the strong protect the weak, otherwise what is the use of their strength? They obviously are not strong enough to maintain their own integrity, if their superiority-complex prevents them from doing the right thing.

We don’t need money, power or influence to stand up for our families, our communities and our way of life. All we need is a little courage with a plan of action. The instant that we allow ourselves to be trapped in this web of political correctness, we are sacrificing the truth for the sake of getting along with an oppressive ideology, reinforced by law enforcement officials that once had our complete trust.

For what it’s worth, countless women are being raped daily all over Europe, which means that over half will experience at least one or two more sexual assaults throughout their lifetimes, if not slavery. Their fathers, brothers and husbands may have been offended a few hundred years ago, nowadays many of my clients report that the men in their lives are almost immune to this method of warfare. Their egos are not as easily damaged by such a violent crime, but they are easily led to expect women to ‘get over it’ in a period of 3-6 months, otherwise they often meet their needs elsewhere…and the common populous wonders why humanity is facing several extinction level events.

What May The Future Hold

In this world, anything is possible. Anyone can get away with anything at the right time under the right circumstances… There is only one slight problem with that. Diversity is paving the way to the enslavement of woman. We are expected to show respect and restrain ourselves toward an entirely different culture, when it is almost impossible to be repaid in kind at the best of times (by any culture). So, with every passing day, the nail of political correctness is hammered into the coffin of our Western civilisation….

Contrary to popular belief, Imams across the globe take orders from the same people that control our leaders from behind the scenes. Yet, neither one of us pays this the attention it deserves. Complaining, rape and retaliation are easier methods than to confront that everything we have been told is a lie. Lies that can inadvertently lead us to the truth about all things, whether you believe it or not.

…Truth be told, if Islam continues on its path of world domination, they will drive humanity into extinction. Every race (i.e. white, black, Asian, Arab, Feline, K9 etc.) will experience a significant reduction in numbers. This concerns humans, animals and plants alike, until there’ll be nothing left.

…Truth be told, if mankind continues on its path of planetary exploitation, whatever is above ground will be driven into extinction. Followed by one mass animal extinction after the other, the environment will have irreversibly changed. The plants and animals that survive will be as toxic to us as the atmosphere, the seas and the oceans, until the planet is no longer habitable by our standards.

…Truth be told, if Islam and the Sixth Mass extinction continue on their path unhindered. Chances are worlds will collide with high casualty rates. It is expected that less than a hundred million (if that) would survive above ground.

Liberty Died With Thunderous Applause

Many of the people that I’m in contact with have woken up to the police at their door, others had their articles pulled… The West is evidently no longer a safe place to express our opinion, unless we are prepared to possibly meet a bloody end by doing so. The choice is ours, but we can be guaranteed that our government or law enforcement will continue to support peadophilia, sexual and religious violence. The worst thing is that with every victim that is silenced, we are creating members of society that will not blink an eye, if violent crimes are committed. No one cared when it happened to them, so why should they care, if it happens to anybody else? However, what they’re actually dealing with is feelings of shame, guilt and emotional pain that are fuelling their own self-loathing, which is then projected onto others that have experienced the same. For most unsupported victims, that is normal. Being abandoned has become normal. For an even smaller amount, giving up on life is easier than living with the daily reminders of the incident.

For the most part, sexually abused women loose the ability to trust, when their support networks vanish into thin air. Dependent on the circumstances, in which the assault took place, many women become numb on the inside. They seek to move on, but they can’t feel anything anymore…and no one cares. There is no magic pill or quick solution, only self-realisation can lead to the cessation of suffering for them now.

As the globe keeps turning, their trauma is forgotten by those around them for its disenfranchised nature. I’ve shed too many tears over the travesty of this, but sadly wet eyes don’t change a thing. Only hard work with persistence has the potential to change how much we suffer. Even then, months after an attack, people simply disconnect, because ‘you’re still on about the same thing’. They lack the understanding that sexual violence leaves deep scars that affect personality development, self-image and capacity for empathy. Later on in life, it even has an impact on child-rearing. In reality, women that condone such events won’t lift a hand when it happens to their offsprings, as the social system in Great Britain and Europe taught me repeatedly. Many relatives would rather shift blame or stay away than to assist in the healing process. However, this is only partly their responsibility. Our society does not teach our offsprings how to effectively cope with trauma, which leaves the majority of us vulnerable to a myriad ways of suffering.

What To Do

Every man, woman and child in every country is affected by the current religious struggle for power. Yet, religious leaders are only too aware that the status of their religion is dependent upon the numbers as well as the dedication of their followers. Whatever opposes them can easily be overcome by increasing the former. Here’s what’s inevitably going to happen:

– Islam will aim to establish itself as the majority in France, Germany, Austria, Sweden, Finland, the Netherlands and the United Kingdom.

– Any country, in which they successfully establish themselves will serve as their primary base of invasion for neighbouring countries, such as Switzerland, Liechtenstein, Denmark, Hungary and the entire Mediterranean.

– Islam is currently fully surrounding Europe by attempting to seize the whole of Africa.

– By October 2016, the events in Europe will escalate concordant to pre-arranged election dates. The probability that conflicts will escalate in several countries simultaneously is higher than another wave of attacks across European nations.

– Many believe there’ll be a war by December 2016…That Christmas will be celebrated on the run or in hiding. The decorations, if there will be any, will incite fear of attack and religious hatred. However, there is also a great deal of hope that they won’t choose the coldest months of the years to kickstart a war.

The only way to stop a malignant narcissist with sadistic tendencies is to deprive them of that which they desire. Never to yield. Never to surrender…and never to relinquish your personal power. Narcissists don’t take responsibility for their actions, unless forced into the position. They will resort to all kinds of manipulation, such as shifting blame, shaming and complete denial. Their ego will not allow them to realise their mistakes or feel the horror behind what they’ve done, otherwise who they are would be shattered.

Sharia law has become the enablers code for peadophilies and sexual offenders across the world. It allows men to shame women and humiliate them at every step, even beat them publicly whenever they deem just. This elicits submission to prevent further punishment, as a rather dark by-product of the instinct for self-preservation. In addition, women that speak against Islam are being labelled as Islamophobic, as if our right to free speech is disregarded, when it comes down to an oppressive religious regime that does not recognise women as human.

A narcissist does not see a difference between you and them. For them, you are an extension of them. You serve their needs and they don’t have to serve yours, because their needs are more important. Their mere presence should be enough to entice you into bending over backwards. A malignant narcissist is not so different, but they are far more likely to harm and even destroy the object of their affections. If they cannot have it, no one will. On mass, this is a recipe for disaster, hence the female population in the Middle-East reaches a desperate low-point every few decades, and they are forced to ‘branch out’. When coupled with sadistic tendencies, female genocide becomes routine, simply to maintain control… Islam does not seek support from the West, they seek its submission to their religion. For women and children, that means we will be vulnerable every day until something changes or we will be forced to live by their views. Sadists seek to turn those around them into sadomasochists… In sexual relationships, this entails a form of continuous torment that the mind cannot protect against, if unprepared. Women are often not taught how to protect against pregnancy or induce a miscarriage without self-harming. So, they become breeding-machines in captivity that gradually dwindle into suicidal ideation. (Fasting or a hunger-strike often induces a miscarriage, which should be mentioned is prohibited in Islam during pregnancy, but only if maintained with great self-control.)

For a narcissist, pregnancy is a symbol of ownership. It reinforces their control over the mind, body and spirit of their victim. Worse, in Islam, they often prey on the sentimentality of women by counting on the fact that they will develop an emotional attachment to become slaves to their male offsprings. Should the head of the house pass away, ownership falls to the oldest, closest male of the family, leaving their women no chance of escape from tyranny.

Tips & Tricks

– Don’t confront a narcissist. Wait until they confront you. Then resist and stand your ground, while exerting an air of confidence.

– When a religious narcissist has their eyes set on attaining a specific goal, they will twist scripture to suit their needs. The easiest tactic against this is to reference their scriptures by the letter and be prepared to prove it. (More often than not, things will get violent long before you have the chance to pull out a book)

– When they profess love and peace but never show it, confront them with verifiable, undeniable facts of religious abuse and/or genocide.

– They’ll talk, but hardly listen, which makes them prone to speak over and interrupt people that do not agree with their viewpoint. If they cut you off every time that you open your mouth, speak in keywords. (Pick the most hard-hitting, relevant word in your response and guaranteed that it’ll elicit a reaction immediately)

8 Ideas Bigger Than Religion


What is religion, but an idea? A concept that has cosmic transformative potential… However, any idea can be turned in on itself to become the very thing that it stands against. When we speak of religion, we do not speak of our way of being. We mean how devoted we are to an imaginary deity in the sky that we would either run from screaming or pay hard cash to abduct us. In other words, we neglect the very foundation of religion that consists of ideas, which are much bigger than any organised religious system. Continue reading

From Rape to Assisted Suicide


This morning I opened up the newspaper and to my surprise…Euthanasia is now administered to sexually abused, chronically ill children around the age of 12, if they feel that they cannot move on with their lives. The article went on to state that many more people are choosing euthanasia as a result of mental illness. As a psychologist, I may be able to shed some light on how to cope and intervene without taking such desperate measures. (Taking my personal history of mistreatment into consideration, I might not be the most objective observer, but at least I speak only the truth.)
If this topic concerns you, I’d like you to know that I understand…I have been where you are. It is easier to be ‘put to sleep’ and simply restart at another time or place, but what lesson are we teaching? What we are basically saying to others and ourselves is “It’s okay that you’re hurt, but since we can’t fix you, how would you like us to assist you in your suicide?” when we should be letting them know that they don’t have to go through this alone…that they don’t have to die, because the world is corrupt and there is little other free support.
Many that fall victim to a sexual predator can’t simply forget or move on, especially children. They no longer view themselves as innocent. Moreover, if the parents push their own responsibility for the abuse onto their child, this can develop into severe identity problems. After less than a year, their view of the world becomes distorted. They begin to feel guilty and undeserving. Many stop speaking, eating and socialising. Every breath they take becomes a reminder of how responsible they were for what happened… The pain, they feel, doesn’t vanish. It festers…but many never say a word for one reason: The majority get hurt for being hurt.
This can occur in countless ways, but most commonly, victims of sexual assault express how these experiences continue to harm them internally, which leads to one of several negative reactions: (a) apathy/cold indifference, (b) dismissal, (c) misplaced rage, (d) misplaced sadness
Many of the people I’ve worked with struggled to make their voices heard initially. When they discuss what they how they feel during recovery, close relatives tended to drift off topic. One minute they’re crying their eyes out about how Uncle Joe bent them over the table, nearly tearing them a new asshole, while the relative that they’re confiding in is too occupied, thinking about how Uncle Joe still owes them a tenner. In my early student years, I despised conducting family therapy for that reason, simply because sometimes there is no happy ending. Some people will never love their children or family members the way they would like them to. With or without the application of force, they probably never will, but telling a survivor that is painful. It pries into a primal fear of abandonment that we all share. No child should be expected to deal with abuse and then neglect, it sets very bad standards and lowers expectations in others from the outset.
None of the responses listed above are rational or even helpful but that has never stopped people. However, before we judge, it’s vital to understand that they don’t know how to cope with the situation. If forced to confront the reality of the situation, they’d shut down, cry hysterically or experience a depressive episode. It should be noted that approx. half have traumatic experiences of their own that they keep bottled up that need to processed first before they can support loved one’s through such tough times.
On a related note, we can all be rather self-centred without meaning to be, when someone we care about shares something to deeply personal. However, when we don’t take them seriously, it can have grave consequences. Particularly, when the tables turn. Many abused children drift apart from friends or relatives that are then later abused…and the first person they call is someone they know who experienced similar. Although what these friends often do not take into consideration is that no half-hearted apology makes up for something like that. In frequency, these friendships were imbalanced from the start. One cared more about the other and less about themselves. Then, the assault occurred and they no longer care about their own life, let alone the problems of the former prom-queen, social butterfly or alpha female of the group.

Post-Traumatic Stress: Dependent on when, where and how an assault takes place is important when it comes down to moving forward. Many survivors struggle to return to their old life. In cases, in which a boyfriend is a part of the equation, recovery can become complicated. Whereas some men are more supportive than others, the subject of sexual intercourse is bound to cause tension, unless there is ample space for open dialogue.

Identifying Stressors & Flashbacks: After a traumatic event, latent impressions of the experience inadvertently imprinted themselves on the mind. Survivors can develop aversions to the opposite or same sex, tools used during the assault, specific locations etc. For example, if an individual was tied and gagged during repeated assaults, they can easily be spooked by S&M. Conversely, some survivors unconsciously relive the experience by engaging in self-destructive behaviour, which can become heavily sexualised.
Although typical responses are sadness, rage, panic or other forms of extreme emotion, when coming into contact with a stressor or object/subject that triggers a flashback. From personal experience, I’ve found that resistance is futile. The more we resist the memory or image, the more it rages underneath the surface. Therefore, it is highly important to be patient and don’t be too hard on yourself. Reminders will crop up, but they don’t have to rule your life. One day, you’ll be able to look at something that would usually remind you of the worst times in your life and it’ll no longer be the root of your stress or the first thing you are reminded of.
Confront your stressor, but don’t go overboard. If it scares you, approach it slowly. If it angers you, charge at it with all your might. If it upsets you, let it out through a good cry, but never bury it. Burying a stressor is dangerous! The more you aim to ignore it, the more ferociously it’ll come through. If it sets your teeth on edge, there’s a reason. Learning that reason will benefit your personal growth and make your more resilient.

Stressors can awaken memories of a time, when we felt powerless, violated and/or deeply injured. In combination with flashbacks, they give the impression that the event is still ongoing. In a split second, a survivor can feel as if they are right back where it all started…As if no time passed. The lines between the past and present can become blurred, particularly if the abuse remains ongoing or happened not too long ago. In other words, living in present time becomes a challenge, when we are locked in a mental prison of our past. Every deeply traumatic experience forces us to re-learn how to live. That means learning how to accept what happened and moving forward.
Survivors Guilt: Thousands of men, women and children throughout the ages have experienced the most horrific forms of sexual abuse. Some of which survive, when those close to them did not. Driven by the experience, some strive to make their lives mean something. With every nightmare, failure and accomplishment, the guilt compounds, until it literally becomes the prime motivator behind their actions. In their eyes, the amount of suffering they feel was created by them, through whatever they did. In rare cases, it can manifest through the very fact that they survived, whereas others did not. More importantly, it is something that they cannot forgive, overcome or let go without assistance…Without some form of acknowledgement that it is okay, others simply need to hear that there is nothing wrong with them. They did what they needed to do to survive and they are still loved regardless. In cases with a high suicide risk, associated with survivors guilt, it can be very helpful to give them to opportunity to express themselves without being judged or criticised. In therapy, I use the method of creating a safe space for them to share their thoughts or unburden their darkest secrets. This can be easily done with friends or relatives at home. In some extreme cases, survivors just need to hear that they are forgiven to forgive themselves, which is more effective when it is conveyed by people that knew them before the event.

Relationships: As a survivor, the world no longer looks the same, nor do we connect to it in the same way. Opening ourselves to others can become difficult for the lack of empathy or shared experience. To the average man, women can be instantly downgraded to just another ‘rape-case’ or ‘woe-woman story’. So many women avoid sharing as to not make themselves look like a victim. This makes genuine relationships difficult and fosters commitment issues.
Many women choose not to share their past experiences with prospective or actual partners. Although this may seem like a justified defensive measure, how close can we truly be to someone, when we shut a part of ourselves off? If they cannot accept that part of ourselves, how can they accept us for who we truly are? My personal advice is for survivors to take a chance. If we never openly discuss what happened, how are we meant to find closure? How are we supposed to be expected to live with what happened, when we can’t acknowledge it to those we love?

Heightism, Detachment & Sociopathy – The Rules Revisited


Darwin once stated, it is not the strongest that are most likely to survive, but those most adaptable to change. Height elicits expectation, yet it does not determine personality or social standing. Despite what many men and women believe, being restricted by one’s height or weight presents a valuable challenge that would not exist, if modern society was more accepting of its innate diversity. From a historical perspective, this is far from new behaviour. However, there are countless erroneous presumptions associated with height that limit our understanding of how heightism originally came to be.

One of the earliest, common references is that of the “Napoleon Complex”, which denotes an inferiority complex or deep-rooted hang-up with one’s own height. However, the original purpose of this term is rarely analysed, nor it is considered that history is typically written by the victor. Smear campaigns were nothing new. Since we have learnt to paint on cave-walls, we have used visual and/or linguistic mediums to convey useful and impractically vain information. To twist and turn information, regardless of its accuracy stretches back to the beginning of ancient warfare. This leads us to a simple fact: Napoleon Bon Apart (5.6ft / 1.68m) was taller than Horatio Nelson (5.4ft / 1.64m). One would think that such a basic fact could easily be discerned by the masses, however, Nelson was accustomed to taking measures against “looking short”. That being said, when the height difference is below 2 inches or five centimetres, it is fairly easy to play with appearances, but whereas many people nowadays can purchase flats from nearby stores, Nelson had to devise his own methods of altering his appearance.
Nelson understood that height is as physical as it is psychological. Anyone can seem tall, while they truly aren’t. If you are bold enough, you can make anyone believe anything, but let’s not throw all caution to the wind just yet. There are physiological limits without bone-shattering application traditional Chinese surgery. Limitations that cannot be applied to the art of propaganda. He may not have been taller than his opponent, although you wouldn’t know with how much effort he invested in being referred to as the taller out of the two.
To show the extent of how successful his propaganda campaigns actually were…in honour of Nelson’s victory, the column built in Trafalgar Square was designed to be the tallest landmark in all of London. Some historians suggest that it was Nelson’s explicit wish for the highest monument to be dedicated to him, so he could oversee the entirety of the metropolis of London at the time.

As we are judged by our appearance, prior to our actions…Before we even open up our mouth, it is only logical to give yourself the best chances. In the old days, it was easier to make yourself appear taller, smarter and more capable. Nowadays, it has become much harder for anyone to pretend to be something they are not, but it is never impossible. Not for anyone…However, it appears to be easier for taller men to deceive women than their shorter counterpart. Again, not impossible. The truth is that under the right circumstances, people will turn a blind eye to almost anything, if they are otherwise occupied…They will disregard height differences, personal disagreements and even the most heart-wrenching betrayals, when the appeal to their self-interest is sufficient. Although the interests of one or more people may be temporarily aligned, that does not guarantee any form of loyalty or respect once they are not. In fact, short men and women live longer, when they’re weary of the company they keep. It is one thing to be useful, but to be repeatedly used as a stepping stone is a fate no one should settle for, regardless of their stature.

Height & Intelligence

History is full of examples, where height serves as an indicator of high intelligence or brute force. Whereas some geniuses are born, most forms of intelligence are cultivated and developed over time. In other words, every human being has the potential to enhance their natural abilities or fight against them. Whereas many living beings are driven by instinct, we have the free will to choose. In this, we are given a distinct advantage. Through conscious choice, one can overcome the height-based bias that runs riot in the world. However, we can only free ourselves, we cannot force others into the position to acknowledge the existence or negative impact of heightism.
Being short is not a handy-cap. It does not determine EQ, IQ or intelligence of thought. Here, one has to to bear in mind that the most intelligent of people were never revered throughout history, they were shunned, exiled and often murdered in the most heinous manner. However, where the general cultivation of intelligence is concerned, Jung’s theory on personality development indicates that if you are not athletically- or strength-orientated as a short person, your talent most likely lies elsewhere. Further research into the hidden talents of the “vertically challenged” shows that many excel at communication. Whereas some had to become quick witted by being subjected to abuse, others were born with the gift of the gab. It gives them an irresistible charm that makes them much more successful in the dating game. For those that are still mastering that knack for words, the trick is to say less than necessary.

Needless to mention, there are many different types of intelligence. Although we continue to quantify new forms, quantum physics suggests the avenues of intelligence are infinite. If we can conceive being a genius in a subject in our minds, it is fairly possible to cultivate the knowledge necessary to succeed. That being said, if you weren’t born swimming against the tide, I wouldn’t recommend to start now. Nurture your natural abilities, but keep an open mind. After all, you wouldn’t expect Bach, Tesla or Einstein to abandon their respective fields, for what was expected of them. Truth is not a phenomena of mass-appeal, neither is free will. The most intelligent, remarkable and revered characters throughout history were not recognised for their achievement. They did not need to be. They did what felt right for them, regardless of what society thought of them. That being said, appearance and social standing can easily override intelligence, but it depends very much on the circumstances. In such an occasion, the personality of a person often defines their instinctual reaction. (It should be noted that psychopaths are predominantly prone to react in specific ways, whereas sociopaths often lack a reaction, unless attempting to elicit a specific response.)
As stated before, there is such a thing as too intelligent. However, there are two distinct types of “high intelligence.” As paradoxical as it may seem, the first type of supremely intelligent people, capable of outsmarting the world’s finest, frequently feign ignorance to fit in. Conversely, the second type often lack the social intelligence to not outshine their master (at every turn), unless the right circumstances are in their favour.
For many, high intelligence is frightening. Combined with the lack of height, it is like drawing a bullseye on one’s back. Even if you give someone the right answer or advice, if it’s not you they wanna hear it from, then the entire endeavour is flawed from the outset. At times, we fail to realise just how intelligent those around us are, if our ego prevents us from seeing them for what they are truly capable of.
Tall or not, nothing is as it seems. We can never know anyone by their appearance or glimpses of their personality. Even the type or level intelligence only serves us to a limits degree. Truth is only time reveals the reality of a person and/or situation. Hitler considered to the Jews to be of lower intelligence. Before then, men thought of women as less intelligent. And the time before that, it was African Americans. For someone to be superior, some has to be viewed as inferior. The more superior someone is, the more inferior another becomes. In a way, it is the cycle and sway of power. Without a smidgen of humility or compassion toward their opponent, people rise to inconceivable heights. However, they must invariably fall from their high horse in this life or the next. Regardless of how sly or intelligent, no one can escape the moral consequences of their behaviour toward themselves or others. So, think twice before acting out revenge or ill-will…Think twice before judging yourself based on appearance or intelligence. Beauty and intelligence are both in the eye of the beholder. They are malleable, superficial properties that are easily altered, as is what we gain from them. However, the challenge in problem-solving is to realise that we cannot change certain aspects of ourselves, we can only overcome them by denying them the power to act upon us. If we doomed to be short, the most intelligent coping strategy is to make the best of it. Ironically, this is also one of the most effective ways to annoy and irritate those that gain a level of satisfaction from demeaning others. The lack of a reaction/response or even a simple agreement can startle the most determined bully long enough to diffuse tension, but it can also have the exact opposite effect.

Height & Mental Illness

Many short men are either depict as the arrogant smartass, the sly mediator and the cold-blooded sociopath or psychopath. However, how closely related are height and mental well-being? Although it shouldn’t have such detrimental effects, any form of discrimination takes its toll. As height and well-being are indirectly connected through the self-image that is established through childhood and adulthood. Height can never be a definite indicator of sanity and it is ludicrous that some humour this notion. From a professional standpoint, height affects many facets of life, from dating to work opportunities to socialising, which in turn affects mental and emotional health.
Truth be told, just by being short or fat, the chance of getting employed or earning more is significantly lower. After all, it could be argued that any profession that is restricted by height requirements only perpetuates a narrow-minded, inaccurate view of how height determines available career-choices and progression. However, no argument or clever statement can change the reality of the situation.
Although height discrimination has reached the realms of undeniability, that does not stop people from trying. Hell, I would depressed if interview after interview employers would take one look at me and my CV, make some excuse and hired someone half my age with less qualifications but taller. Equal employment opportunities means that it shouldn’t matter if I’m a 4ft grey alien from Alpha Centauri, every living being should have the same opportunity to prove their skills and put food on the table. To be expected to be mentally stable in such conditions is like fighting an endless tide of unrealistic expectations. It should be noted that those who demand often are not expected to deliver, if put in the same position. On a separate note, I’ve noticed short men that have risen above the negative restrictions and implications of heightism rarely associate with other short men, unless carefully selected. They wish to distance themselves as far as they can from being a target, or being associated with anything that threatens the position they have fought to gain. Those that have made it are not all cut-throat, but the majority have had to learn to function in a world of predators. As a consequence, the prey grows far beyond its former predator(s). Whereas some develop anti-social qualities to survive among psychopaths, others choose to steer their moral compass in the opposite direction. They cultivate an air of non-attachment that almost gives them a monk-like presence. They are at peace with who they are. They do not feel the urge to seek justice or vengeance…They only act when acted upon. And I have the deepest empathy for those that have fallen victim to such a powerful force. Few that I know of make it out alive with their ego intact. Some are so emasculated that it stays with them for the rest of their lives (which is most likely equivalent to what they have done to others for being short, fat or otherwise impaired in their opinion).

The Short Sociopath VS The Tall Psychopath

So far in my career, I’ve encountered short and tall sociopaths. However, I’ve always found that my colleagues would find it easier to cope with the 6ft6in than the 5ft4in service user. While episodes of violence were more common for the taller clientele, short men were far more contained but infinitely more vicious when violent. Despite the inherent danger, I’ve always been more comfortable around short sociopaths in comparison to tall psychopaths or sociopaths. Although not all short sociopaths I’ve met socially or professionally have been high functioning, the majority were highly intelligent in their own way. One that society may not be ready to acknowledge just yet, since it has no need to. As stated before, once there is a need, most will say or do anything to fill it…But what happens afterwards entirely depends on the person and circumstance.

The term psychopath and sociopath are often used to describe the worst fears anyone can have about someone we are associated with. Their true nature is thought to be egocentric, merciless and incapable of remorse. The stuff of your worst nightmares… But contrary to popular belief, you don’t need to look far to find a full-blooded psychopath or sociopath. Just switch on your TV. Whereas psychopaths thrive on attention, sociopaths often keep to the shadows. Nonetheless, both can also create shadows from which to operate. Most of us won’t have to look beyond our community to find a borderline psychopath or sociopath. The difference is tall people remain undetected far more often, unless their actions have been witnessed on a large scale. One that is not or cannot be denied.

To explain, the difference between psychopathy and sociopathy on a fundamental level is on a genetic level. Whereas both can have their hereditary roots, emotional processing is affected differently. Psychopaths, although they may not be able to feel, are often driven by an emotional need. Sociopaths are not. However, both disassociate from their emotions to variant degrees. Both are capable of vicious fits of rage, although they are often underplayed when the individual is short.
The most important difference I’ve found in dating a psychopath and a higher functioning sociopath is the need to prey on emotions. Psychopaths appear to have an inherent need to manipulate and deceive that makes them overconfident. The paranoid tendencies of a short sociopath is the textbook example that counters such the deep-rooted emotional need of the stereotypically tall and good looking psychopath.
Height does not differentiate. Since height discrimination has become an everyday occurrence, whether you’re a psychopath, sociopath or just anti-social makes no difference. If you’re short as a male, you’re doomed to be an outsider, but that doesn’t have to be a bad thing. From personal experience, short-statured people like myself either make an invested effort to follow trends or they create their own. As a psychologist, it is my firm opinion that trend-setters are always outsiders. Whether short or tall, they have the confidence to walk their own path.
However, for sociopaths, the end justifies the means. If that means their imprisonment, torture or death, then so be it. Psychopaths, due to their inherent emotional needs, have an in-build weakness, whereas once the mask of a sociopath drops…There is nothing. A vast, infinite void of emotion that drives shivers down your spine. Beyond false anger, there is dead calm silence.
In simple terms, the circuits in the cortex do not connect and/or process emotions properly…like two wires that don’t fully connect. Since they don’t, there is an accumulation of energy, leading to large bursts of emotion, when the buildup is so substantial that the connection is forced.

It is difficult for anyone to let someone close to us see us in our worst light. For sociopaths and psychopaths, the light is merely more revealing than most people can handle. Not all of us were born or conditioned to be a certain way, but none of us deserve the rejected for that fact.
Predators have their uses in any society. Historically, their talents were put to good use in the military. The more psychotic, psychopathic or sociopathic the opponent, the more insane was the person that actually defeated them. In wartimes, you wouldn’t care about the short guy wielding a battle ax like a mad man, unless he is coming toward you. The military has always been in high demand of controllable soldiers that will follow any command to the death, not uncontrollable cannon balls that wreck their projections. Psychopaths gain their power from knowing their place and when to rise above it…Sociopaths will do so regardless, if they wish to.

Being short makes that endeavour slightly more complex, as there is more to conceal and distract from. Playing with appearances is more complicated, as making oneself taller isn’t an option. Surrounding oneself by tall, but genuine, supporters is a frequently used technique. However, the tall selfless wingman that’ll deliver women on a plate is a sheer fantasy, unless they are blackmailed into doing so or persuaded by someone with a higher level power compared to them. I’ve found that when it comes to territory, many men do not remove women from the equation. That being said, women are no longer subject to arranged marriages or career-restraints, but we are just as vulnerable to social engineering. Particularly, in the case of male heightism.
When we become chronically dissatisfied with ourselves, it becomes hard to hide. People sense, feel and see that one person, which drags the group down. On the other hand, every group also has its leader: the alpha male or female. Whereas tall psychopaths or sociopaths often have the opportunity to cosy up to them by replacing the beta…Their short counterpart often has to strike with fierce momentum to displace or even scatter the group (with less beneficial results). In conclusion, height doesn’t affect the severity of a condition, but at times it forces men in the position to overcompensate merely to be noticed. Unfortunately, by the time they are noticed, their reactions have often been torn so far out of proportion that they distract from the issue at hand.

Relationships in Times of Mass Extinction


Any man is liable to err, only a fool persists in error.

– Marcus Cicero

The refugee crisis of 2015 (that is still waiting to reach its peak) has highlighted the Western resource and wealth inequality to the extent, where people are no longer able to deny its effects. The most common stressor that disturbs the balance of any relationship is money problems. It is one thing to be unable to afford going out on Friday night, it is quite another to scavenge for food. Women and men alike have their breaking point. However, it appears that over the previous years, men have been more greatly affected by the recessions than women. Once survival is threatened, all bets are off. The balance of power in the relationship is altered beyond the point of return.

One does not have to be mentally or emotionally unstable to break it off, when one’s partner is unable to provide. In many Western cultures, this behaviour is even encouraged. In fact, one would have to be either so mentally stable/unstable that it borders on sociopathic tendencies to stay. However, it also results in countless broken homes and single parents fending by themselves. Although everyone should have to prerogative to act as they choose, it is hard times that determine the strength of a relationship. If we all were to stray at the first sight of trouble, mankind would have never made it to present day. Nonetheless, many blood-lines most likely only survived, because they did whatever was necessary to ensure the continued existence of themselves and therefore their genetic lineage. One may argue that the current disposable nature of society has driven its inhabitants to view their relationships as equally disposable. While divorce sky-rockets, few strive to patch things up, regardless of what mistakes were made. The problems have begun to extend beyond the relationship and can rarely be reconciled, merely overcome.

For example, adultery has less of an impact on the outcome of relationships than money concerns. Whereas many can forgive the occasional slip-up, constant financial worries are overcome far less often. From personal experience, I can attest to the fact that long-term relationships are hard work, but they are also very rewarding, if you are with the right person. After two years, the relationship is still relatively fresh, however, many couples decide to tie the knot after approximately a year (dependent on age). In other words, the length of a relationship only partly affects the impact of financial woes. When women are put in the position of fuel poverty, starvation or homelessness, the majority will seek a more suitable mate that can meet their base requirements. However, the minority are either so in love that it does not matter or they are invested in the relationship for different reasons. Although it is often assumed that sex is a primary reason for this, I’ve always found it insufficient and unrealistic. Sexual pleasure can cloud the mind so far, before other needs become more pressing. Besides, homeless couples rarely have the opportunity to be intimate. Their bond is one much deeper. Theirs is one that goes beyond the material. In fact, research suggests couples that endure traumatic experiences or persistent hardship are more likely to stay together. In a way, the trust that is forged between couples when surviving life-threatening circumstances is profound and far less often betrayed. Couples describe a sense of knowing their partner at their best and at their worst. However, they also emphasise the uncertainty of entering a new relationship with a new partner that may not cope as effectively. One particular couple that I was acquainted with suffered great ordeals, only for the husband to pass on from a fatal head-wound two months after they had finally resettled. The wife found herself at the beginning of a complicated, long-winded grieving process, in which she closed herself off from the world. The one thing we had in common at the time was the fact that she could not imagine a relationship with any other type of man. When she began dating after a year of therapy, she asked me to call her an hour in to provide her with an emergency exit strategy. Despite the fact, she was comfortable socialising, she was bored out of her mind, listening to his macho tales. All she could hear was incessant jabbering about the newest gadgets, newest fashion and the woe-is-me tales of ex girlfriends that were probably drawn way out of proportion. As was evident, they were rather ill-matched. For most women, a financially stable man is irresistibly attractive, but wealth can disappear in an instant. Bankruptcy, financial hardship or other unfortunate experiences affect the way a minority of women operate. Particularly, when it comes down to selecting a mate.

Few men and women cope well during financial turmoil, which is understandable, since it is a matter of working progress. In Apocalypse & the Middle-Classes, I explained that different social classes cope differently when disaster strikes. The lead-up to mass extinction is grinding society to a halt, in some of the most inhumane ways to keep itself going for as long as possible. Without adequate food production and distribution to all of the planet, over a quarter of the species already live in poverty without proper nutrition. Adding the refugee crisis to the equation only shows how thin we are stretching ourselves with highly destructive tools to feed, clothe and shelter all. Once more, it highlights inadequate wealth and resource production, distribution and renewal. The resources we take, we do not replenish. The manner through which we produce these resources is not merely flawed but environmentally hazardous. Without addressing the root cause of our problems, we are and/or will be forced to resort to extreme measures to survive. In sum, our way of living inevitably affects our reproductive behaviour. For some women that means trading up, for others that means turning tricks, but for a small minority it means to reflect on the bigger picture. Each of those three coping mechanisms have their roots in fallen civilisations. Although prostitution is thought of as the oldest of all professions, it is generally discouraged and disapproved of in modern society, even in the most dire circumstances. Therefore, it is a road less travelled. Looking for another mate is considered the more logical option. But when everyone is just as worse off, who are you going to choose? Mass extinction invariably impedes on the logic of reproduction, in times where the survival of the species is threatened. This could result in reproductive behaviour reverting back to a time when the sacrifice of one’s own life for the life of the infant was a common occurrence. In other words, we may revert back to a time when we would had to selflessly play against the odds of our long-term survival for the sake of short-term happiness. The brutal truth is that few would willingly choose that end, if push comes to shove. Conversely, there are always be those that will.

“Some people view love and romance as a sacred bond between two individuals. Other people see love as a game, where the goal is to manipulate another individual and gain emotional power over a partner.”

In conclusion, it is often argued that women are driven to go where the food is on an evolutionary basis, unless conditioned behaviour or other events supersede the most basic survival mechanisms. This is particularly the case in societies where farming is not an option or prohibited by law. It is inferred that this is what makes us more likely to cheat, but only a small minority of women have it so bad that it justifies adultery, as they could technically decide to leave at anytime. Commitment issues are only a small part of why relationships fail. Uncertainty, misrepresentation, distrust or outright deceit are all the more manifest in presence of commitment and abandonment issues. On a separate note, a former client of mine always used to say “Women are like money’s. They won’t let go of the old branch until they’ve got a new one.” Despite his troubled past with women, he has a point. Ironically, his statement is true for a large percentage of men and women. Research suggests men and women are more prone to jumping from one relationship into another when the partner is far from what they’re looking for and a more suitable mate presents itself. However, it begs the question whether emotional attachment serves as an indicator of balance in the relationship. As an unhealthy degree of emotional attachment can develop in any relationship, it is often useful to take time and reflect…To continuously invest effort and resources into the relationship as a sign of commitment, if it is one-sided can hamper marital bliss and equality. However, some are not capable of reciprocity, even if the issue is addressed repeatedly. Particularly, where money is tight and emotions run too high for personal comfort. In that case, one has to either accept that they may not change or walk away.

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https://quantummediocrity.wordpress.com/2014/02/12/apocalypse-surival-middle-classes/