The Perfect Couple: Shattering the Illusions of Momentary Bliss


Love feels no burden, thinks nothing of its troubles, attempts what is above its strength, pleads no excuse of impossibility, for it thinks all things are lawful for itself and all things are possible…

– Thomas Kempis

The perfect couple. We’ve all met them, haven’t we…or at least, we think we have. We think of them as those two people so clearly made for each other.
We feel certain they’re on the highway to happiness but that road is riddled with many distractions and accidental detours. However, even seemingly perfect couples can find themselves…at a dead end…without the tiniest glimmer of hope.
It is not that these couples have no future with each other, but that our mainstream definition of perfection is heavily tainted by unrealistic expectations. While we know, ‘perfect’ cannot exist in physical space-time, we do not cease to aim for excellence. We do so, as we wish to fulfill our highest possible potential. However, to attain such heights…to become whole…to be in complete harmony with all-that-is means we (mathematically) cease to exist. In practice, there are theories, legends and stories of those, who’ve achieved such a state. One more mystical than the following, yet they share common denominators. For example, the courage to look within oneself, the ability to show compassion instead of judgement, the wisdom to know nothing is beyond reason or so forth. Still, few tales of enlightenment are love stories. Personally, I only know of a handful. Some are intensely sexual, focusing on the tantric aspects of cosmic unity, like the story of Nalakubara. Then, there are others of dutiful, solemn devotion, such as the epic of Shiva and Kali.

When we examine the greatest love stories of human history, we find they are wrought with misery, separation and insatiable longing. For instance, in the case of Napoleons desire for Josephine. Although he wished to despise her for the way she treated him, he could not. Her repeated absences to their rendezvous only made him want to claim her as his even more. She rarely replied to his poetic love letters in a fashion that’d be deserving of such selfless affection. It took years before she warmed up to him and even then, his affection was largely unreciprocated.
To elaborate, what we often imagine to be this grand, flawless love so many speak of doesn’t truly exist. It is in those little moments of weakness, in which we expose ourselves completely when mutually deep connections are forged. Naturally, it isn’t always simple to distinguish the good guys or gals from the bad. When we leave ourselves vulnerable, we are taking the risk to be injured for how we think, feel or are. Sometimes, it will hurt beyond the imagination…but sinners can surprise us, the same goes for saints. We are so eager to define others as purely good or evil, we overlook our reluctance to accept the truth…that compassion and cruelty can live side by side in one heart…that through choice, anyone is capable of anything.

Helpful Hints

Compromise Creatively: We all want different things compared to our partner sometimes, therefore it is essential to work together in order to find an acceptable solution for both partners. More importantly, do not merely agree to a bad deal, because it is easier. It cannot be stressed enough, a compromise has to be mutual. Both men and women can cave, as they believe they will be rewarded in some way later on…But, there are no guarantees.
In my personal opinion, I get where men are coming from when they attend the opera once a year (though most despise every minute) in order to get lucky. More often than not, if they come clean about how they feel, they are chastised for it. However, I equally understand how difficult it is for women, when the compromise isn’t honoured or postponed indefinitely. Yet, I feel most for those people, for whom compromising isn’t an option.

Forgive: Everyone makes mistakes on occasion. Some we may easily let slide as poor judgement, whereas others represent a breach of trust that may end the relationship. If it is not worth breaking up for, maybe brood a while and be the bigger person by making the first step to reconciliate. Furthermore, it is vital to communicate extensively about what exactly happened, why it occurred, how it can be avoided in the future and then damage repaired.

Be Involved & Committed: Love may begin with mental, emotional as well as physical attraction but it ends in commitment. Commitment is inherent in any genuinely loving relationship. Anyone who is truly concerned for the spiritual growth of another knows, consciously or instinctively, that he or she can significantly foster that growth only through a relationship of constancy (eg. by being involved consistently). This does not mean crossing boundaries before their time. Occasionally, we all need time to ourselves or are not yet ready to share certain aspects of our lives with others. If our partner feels that way, we must respect it. If we struggle with this, a rather uncomfortable trick is to mirror the commitment and involvement of the person, we are with, until they are prepared to move the relationship to the next level.

Everyone must choose the path they are going to take in life. And for a special few, their road will lead them to loved ones who accompany them along the way. Though not each one will be by our side at the end of the journey, we must remember the good times fondly without wishing for what could have been. When we do, we cannot fully appreciate or be thankful for all we have in the here and now.

Regardless what we have endured in the past, in order to be a part of a healthy relationship, we must move forward with the knowledge and experience, which we have gained so far. Sooner or later, we learn there is no such thing as the perfect couple. What may be perfect for us, might just be torment for someone else. Perfect is different from everyone. For most, the ultimate relationship experience must be tailored to what we identify with as a person. For a small percentage, however, it has to meet higher needs of their consciousness development at the time in rare and powerful ways.

Maslow’s Pyramid Transformed

Maslows pyramid of basic as well as advanced requirements represent a universal hierarchy of needs present in all forms of life. It permeates every aspect of our existences, since our wants and desires are interlinked from the lowest to the highest. The implications of his work on relationships are too deep-reaching (yes, the word actually exists according to the internet) to explain as a side-note. If you wish to read more on the subject, please click here.

For now, we must only understand the impact our requirements have on functioning in complete harmony as a couple. It is lovely to believe ‘all you need is love’, when there is food on our table, money for rent, bills and luxuries…However, no relationship is likely to be trouble-free indefinitely.
When how we meet our needs is affected outside of our control, it has a definite impact. Therefore, how both partners respond to adversity decides on whether the relationship stands a chance. For instance, he may balance her, while she is breaking down due to the situation or she might console him when things aren’t working out as planned. Some examples of how relationships can be influenced when we fail to meet our needs as follows:

Survival: Sudden Life-Threatening Events, Acute or Chronic Illness
(Support, Companionship, Trauma Bonding, )

  • Security: Homelessness, Unemployment, Financial Instability
    (Trauma Bonding, Shared Loss, True Acceptance)
  • Sexuality: Infertility, PCOS, Hypothalamic Amenorrhea, Erectile Dysfunction, Premature Ejaculation
    (Increased Emotional Intimacy, Shared Problem-Solving)
  • Belonging: Societal Exclusion, Social Rejection, Isolation, Absence of Support Network, Unable to Feel Completely Accepted, Poor Work Performance, Lack of Social Skills, Overwhelming Responsibilities
    (Confidence, Personal Power, Contentment, Trust, Growing Intimacy, Strong Affinity, Self-Improvement)
  • Love: Bereavement, Trauma, Conflict, Pain
    (Communication, Compassion, Empathy, Solace, Healing)
  • Cognitive: Lack of Self-Awareness, Depression, Anxiety, Mood Swings, Misconception, Pessimistic Attitude or Outlook
    (Experiential Knowledge, Intuition, Mental/Psychic Connection)
  • Meaning: Blind Faith, Unanswered Questions, Lack of Experiences to Draw Conclusion, Inner Restlessness
    (Truth, Self-Realisation, Unity)

As a relationship progresses, it deepens. We begin to learn more about each others behaviour on a day to day basis. Ideally, we adapt to each others habits. For the first three to six months, couples are often more eager to please according to personal preferences. After the honeymoon phase ends, this changes for some, whereas for others, it becomes more involved a part of a new, shared routine that continues to evolve over decades.
Needless to say, relationships consist of give and take. However, no daliance can survive giving with the expectation to receive in the long run. When we give out of live, we do so not because we are obligated or anticipate something in exchange…We do so, because it is in giving that we receive. In modern relationships, we often expect others to live according to a certain standard (eg. car, job, apartment, washing machine…) In theory, there is nothing wrong with societal standards, divided into classes. Yet, it is not put into practice correctly by truly providing everyone with equal opportunities in life. For instance, there are usually physical, mental or emotional factors to be considered, when people date or marry outside their social class…since how we think, dress and act is conditioned by those whose influence over us is greatest growing up.

On a related note, women are more likely to abandon previously healthy marriages to escape poverty, particularly when there are children involved.

Nobody is perfect. Only by working on ourselves may we genuinely improve the quality of a long-term, monogamous relationship. Of course, there are partner with whom we are more of less compatible…with whom our probability of lasting success is higher compared to others. Nevertheless, there’ll always be those behavioural quirks or attitudes, which annoy or irritate. Simply put, we cannot force others to change.
In the ideal relationship, we are free from judgement for who we appear to be. Quirks, habits, random thoughts and all….can there be anything closer to perfection than complete acceptance on every level of our being?

So, have you met the perfect couple? The two spirits whose love endures life after life and never dies? The two lovers whose relationship can overcome any threat…whose loyalty is never tried? The husband and wife who trust each other completely against the odds?
If you haven’t, let me introduce you… They stand atop a layer of butterscotch frosting, reminding us the only real union we may achieve in love is becoming one with the cosmos through the eyes of another.

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10 Ways To Find Joy


“This earth is the effect of all beings, and all beings are the effect of this earth.”

Brihadaranyaka Upanishads

Every day, I kneel down in prayer to the Great Spirit and I ask for the strength, the wisdom and the understanding to lead others away from suffering…to breaking their alliance with karma and thereby take their rightful place in themselves. Our world is but a fleeting thought in the cosmos that echoes in the far distance. We are eternal, prior to which we are infinite. Immortality is a word with too many limitations to describe the true nature of our consciousness. We are prior to the concept…

Our Spirit does not harbour vengeful or unethical thoughts. It does not kill and it is not killed. It is bliss that forges the peace, which permeates all. It is the knowledge upon all has been founded. It is Existence. It is everything that existed prior to the multiverse and everything that shall remain after the dissolution of the cosmos

At heart, the Spirit of Christmas is just as innocent, pure and imperishable. It is the same joyful spirit that pervades all. It is a happiness that is selfless as much as it is desireless. A happiness, which can only come from within. All the presents in all the worlds cannot bring joy or peace, unless the gift is the keys to irreversible, inner happiness.

1. Don’t Be Right, Be Kind, But Honest

“Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?” (Wayne Dyer)

Kindness is underrated in a society, where it is often interpreted as romantic interest or used for selfish ends. Our opinion is our opinion, regardless of whether we insist on being right. That cannot change, unless we are ready for it to. My thoughts may not be the same as your thoughts, but the truth shall always be the truth, even if we only acknowledge it to agree to disagree. The truth is the ultimate victor in the end, even when history is re-written to the exact opposite of what actually happened.

That which remains unsaid in Buddhist philosophy and psychology is that withholding factual information has a consequence, just as sharing information we know to be false. What we believe to be true may not be kind, but when it reflects the views we hold in modern society, then the fate that one suffers by withholding vital information can be worse than the fleeting moments of pain, in which we are forced to confront reality. If it is not necessary to share a painful truth that will only perpetuate suffering, then it is best to remain silent. If we attempt to open the minds of others and only meet resistance, then it is also best to remain silent. However, if there is only a fraction of a chance that our words or deeds can bring joy, peace or healing, then it is our responsibility to take the risk. We must give other the opportunity to decide for themselves, regardless of how hopeless the situation may seem. It is only temporary. One day, they may surprise us, as the seeds that we have been planting are finally taking root in their unconscious.

When it is unkind to speak the truth, ask yourself whether the consequences of your non-interference are worse than the consequences of saying nothing. Ask yourself whether you would wish to have your illusions shattered, if you were in their position…Only then can you know what it may take to warn others from a fate much worse than the truth.

Kindness hurts, when it is genuine. We often believe that when we are kind, we avoid spreading hatred or hurt others, which is partially accurate, but enlightenment can only come from truth…and truth hurts. So, to be kind, one has to be genuine. That does not mean forcing ones opinions on another at every turn about every subject under the sun, but speaking up when it is necessary…When it is kinder to inflict temporary psychological pain, (allowing the false layers of their self to fall off as they may), instead of patiently lying in wait until the time comes when they have no other choice than to accept a brutal truth, you know, they would have denied outright.

Moreover, never say “I told you so.” Apart from creating hostility and tension, that phrase fuels a sense of false superiority. You are not superior by knowing better, while others are suffering unnecessarily through your inaction or non-interference. You are a part of the cause, unless you act in the interest of their self-realisation… Pain is inevitable, whereas suffering is optional. Therefore, by witnessing the suffering of your fellow-man, you are duty-obliged to help cease their suffering

In conclusion, we can never truly know for certain what is right or wrong, but we can discern whether a specific viewpoint leads to or away from suffering. The Absolute Truth may create pain, but that pain cannot endure…It is but a temporary blip on the map of your life. For example, when I turned 15 after my fathers death, I attended a psychotherapy session, in which my counsellor advised me to accept that my mother will never love me in the way that I may want her to. After over four years of struggling to come to terms with this, I would still occasionally shed tears at what could be, but inevitably the pain stopped. My suffering would not cease for years to come, yet my journey would lead me to the true meaning of inner peace and happiness…to our natural state of being. So, my advice to you is this…Never be afraid to tell the truth, however inconvenient or torturous, it may lead those close to you to becoming who they were meant to be.

2. Let Go

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” Lao Tzu

Attain a state of desirelessness and you shall find Heaven, Nirvana or even Christ… Get to know the joy of your soul that burns brightly forevermore. When you feel overly confident, reflect. When you become too passionate or too attached, take a step back. Distance won’t stop the mind from desiring a particular object and/or subject, but it can assist you in putting things into perspective. It gives you time to contemplate how your desires drive you and thereby affect your behaviour.

As long as you are subject to desire, you are subject to the endless cycle of death and rebirth. Desire creates impressions and shapes the predispositions of the mind in every life. What gives us pleasure is not actually a mental or physical object, it is the aspect of the Universal Spirit that is present in all things. We rejoice at the sight of a Christmas tree, for example, because it brings back childhood memories of a time, when we couldn’t contain our excitement. A season of joy, togetherness and, of course, gifts. It is the Spirit that attracts us, not the form that is presented to us in.

Only in the absence of desire and attachment, there is freedom. Only when we truly let go, is there peace. Joy is our natural state of being, once we remove the conditions we require to experience it. As a child, these conditions are less stringent, yet as we grow into adulthood, more conditions accumulate. Our mind becomes less flexible, as it is preoccupied with the past with its eyes on the future. In such a state, the mind cannot appreciate the present moment. It becomes more and more difficult to feel joyful in the here and now.

When we detach, we begin to realise that things are never as they seem. What seemed extraordinarily important to us, may not be as important after we have had time to digress. Even after we have been the subject of wrongdoing or a loved one has made a grave error that has affected us negatively, we must ask ourselves, why this has happened and what we can do to forgive. We should not accept responsibility for their mistake, unless we are partly to responsible. We need not worry or entertain feeling of guilt. Whatever has occurred, it has happened for a reason. May it be the state of society, may it be poor self-control, or may it be that we were simply at the wrong place at the wrong time…There are causes that led to the effect that we are experiencing. Therefore, we must let go of what, we think, we know and strive to obtain more knowledge, regarding the situation. We must choose compassion, understanding and forgiveness over pain, anger and hatred.

3. Don’t Blame or Judge

How can know anyone in this life? How can we be a hundred percent certain that they are exactly who we think they are? Or that they are responsible for exactly what we think they are? We many hand out blame for events that they had no control over, or they may deliberate blame others for their shortcomings…

Allow everything and everyone to be just as it is. Allow people to be who they are. Whatever they think, say or do will have its consequences without your involvement. Do not waste your energies on blame, invest them in finding the truth beyond our physical senses or mental inclinations. Unless your assigned duty is discern whether they should be held responsible, blame will stagnate the process of letting go. Blaming them will create pain from reliving the experience repeatedly. Needless to mention, an experience from which you most likely can never find peace, unless you learn to move forward.

Only when we are in a position to rightfully shift blame and we desire not to, can we begin to understand the higher echelons of compassion. Once there is an admission of guilt and we voluntarily choose to help them understand as well as independently resolve the problems that led to the current situation, only then will they learn not to make the same mistake. “We must be capable of taking advantage of all the lower facilities of life, and yet renounce them voluntarily.” (Swami Ramakrishnananda) If anything we want, we must get, then we inevitably open ourselves to desire things that are inherently self-destructive, such as the nagging want/need to declare that we feel something or someone is responsible, even ourselves.

If you don’t blame others, why not extend the same curtesy to yourself? A declaration that you feel responsible does not resolve anything. Either we made a mistake, which can serve as a valuable lesson, for which we should be grateful, or karma has come back to haunt us.

We cannot wholly blame others for the sufferings of mankind or for the pains that we are undergoing in life. Every action has an equal and opposite reason. Every cause has its effect…and whatever we are inclined to shift blame on has its roots in a chain reaction that we are an intrinsic part of.

Understanding is the goal of our existence, since understanding gradually develops into self-realisation. Without any adversity, we can never hope to comprehend that which eludes us. Without any moral struggle, we cannot realise the nature of the minds around us. Without the cultivation of empathy or compassion, we may fail to learn that are mind are in a conditioned state, in which we are predisposed to certain behaviour.

4. Give Up Self-Defeat & Discard Limiting Beliefs

“You not only belong to your own self, but you belong to a large area of human society. It is not possible for any individual to totally dissociate oneself from social associations or social conditions. You know very well how much dependent anyone is on the structure of human society. No individual is complete by one’s own self. There are things which you can give to others, which others lack and do not have, but there are things which you would like to take from others, which you lack but others have.” (Swami Ramakrishnananda)

There will always be thoughts, opinions and beliefs that we carry with us through life. Everything and everyone in this world is deserving of our respect, especially ourselves. “We lose nothing by being humble. We lose everything by being proud and self-assertive, and wrongly imagining that we have all the power, while we have no power of any kind.” (Upanishads) Alone, we are nothing really, our power is limited, but in spirit, we are one and suddenly there are no more limitations. The only limitations that exist are the ones we place upon ourselves.

What you long for is not victory in the way that you imagine it. Victory is truth, peace and happiness in a war, in which you are your worst enemy. How can you aspire to greatness, if you do not believe that you deserve it or if you do not perceive it as an option? In other words, how can you attain a higher state of consciousness, if you do not allow yourself to? Faith without a reason behind it is blind, but when there is a reason (which is your very existence), lack of faith has disastrous consequences. You exist, so discard everything inside of you that makes you feel unworthy and start with self-respect. Become worthy of your own respect in the present moment by simply being as you are right now…by simply existing as the wondrous, brilliant being that you are.

Nobody knows how much time we are destined to spend on this Earth, so make the most of the time that is given to you. View it as an opportunity for growth. Use it as a chance to go where no man has gone before. Contemplate all that we cannot yet explain and find your true purpose.

If we are not in a position to do anything worthwhile for our own selves, what is the use of asking whether we can do some worthwhile thing for other people? People talk of service, social welfare, running about here and there on behalf of others, but does it do us or them any good in view of world affairs? What is worthwhile is often not what we do day-to-day, it is what we have stopped ourselves from doing… More often than not, it is what society deems to be disenfranchised to concentrate power and stagnate global development. So, choose your course of action wisely. Actions that may seem completely sane and reasonable can masquerade themselves as the least favour option. When uncertain, choose the path less travelled.

5. Don’t Complain

A complaint comes in many shapes. It can take the form of an explanation. It can be voiced calmly or even provide us with comfort. Although we should be distressed, when an individual that we are close to suffers the same as we do, it also bonds us. Shared pain makes us feel as if we are not alone, when in truth, beyond that pain is only oneness.

Beyond our suffering lies knowledge. The very knowledge that we require to understand our woes and complaints. The Gods have very little to do with it, as we have created the circumstances that led to our dissatisfaction or annoyance. However, its root goes far deeper than we imagine. We believe that money makes the world go round, when it is desire that turns our universe. The multiverse rests upon desire, it is that which brought it into existence, and its cessation marks the point of its dissolution.

We see but we don’t observe. We hear but we don’t listen. We touch but we don’t feel… The flames of our desires burn brighter, each time that we selfishly value ourselves above the world and everything in it. When we complain, we don’t seek to empathise or understand the views of others… Most of us simply wish ‘the problem’ went away, but it is never that simple. Unless we understand the root of that which we complain about, then the chance that matters will be resolved is slim.

A few winters ago, my body-temperature dropped below the average reading for hypothermia, but I did not care. My landlord did not care that his tenants spent one of the worst winters in the history of the United Kingdom without heating. My family would not even offer me a corner on the floor of their homes, as appearances are everything. They’d rather people didn’t know my situation, nor that they had refused to help… I understood. They didn’t need my forgiveness, since they already had it the moment I anticipated their response. I told them that I loved them and did what any good daughter would do…I kept silent. After a few years, the winters had carved out a new version of myself. One that was as cold as ice. One that would focus all the energy inward…All the hurt, the feelings of abandonment and fear of excruciating bone pain. Even when I lost sensation in my leg, I kept a brave face, when underneath everything was crumbling. I understood that it was my responsibility, my fate…and in the end, my burden to bear. Death appeared as a gift that would be welcomed each time the temperatures dropped dangerously and as they rose again, I would be reborn. Some say that I lost self-respect, others say that it would be a more merciful end than spreading my legs for warmth. They did not know that I was too sick to walk, to ill to move without pain, but in reality, it would have only made them feel guilty enough to blank out the conversation.

Now, another winter dawns and the temperatures are already close to zero…but there is no air left in me. No need to complain or feel emotionally wronged. Acceptance had finally taken ahold of me, and tears of joy were flowing down my cheeks as I began to feel truly indifferent. There are moments, in which I still voice some disdain but I can feel that the time is coming, when there will be no disagreement on any level of my being. I’m at peace with whatever may come.

So you see, the journey to a life without complaining comes in many forms…it is a day-to-day task, in which we have to restrain all of our natural impulses to understand that which would otherwise escape our understanding. When we experience the heights of physical, mental or emotional pain and we still maintain a non-judgemental attitude, then we probably won’t utter a single complaint ever again. In time, nothing will compare to those past experiences. Nothing will affect us as they did. Whereas others will complain about the simple things in life, none of that truly matters any longer. Their woes will seem so small that a single suggestion could remedy them, but many won’t feel joyful, when their reasons for complaining have vanished into thin air.

6. Don’t Criticise

Whatever reason others may have to act the way that they do, don’t judge them. If you were in their position, you may do the same. You cannot know for certain. It is easier to criticise than to imagine yourself in their shoes… Advise them constructively, if necessary, but do not criticise them and leave them to their own devices. All that creates is tension and hostility. You won’t relieve them of their problems, worries or inaccurate views, but add to them. They’ll feel worse, which makes them more likely to dwindle down the spiral of their already self-destructive behaviour.

Replace criticism with loving-kindness. Compassion serves as the key to gain common ground. In the absence of judgement, you can attain the wisdom to discover their reasoning… Judging them may make you feel better temporarily, but that bliss is a short-lived illusion manufactured by the ego. It stems from ignorance: the delusion that we exist as independent beings, separate from one another.

When we criticise another, we reveal much more about ourselves. Whatever we wish to judge them for has already spoken volumes about them, we needn’t add to that. Our criticism, unless it is compassionate and constructive, says more about us than if we were to be silent. It uncovers flaws in our perception that concern the current situation. More often than not, what we ask of them, we lack ourselves. For example, if we ask them to pay more attention or be more attentive, then we are often missing these qualities in ourselves.

Criticism mirrors our own unwholesome qualities that we still have to work through. Unless we are acutely aware how the present circumstances came to be with one or more solutions that may prevent their reoccurrence, then we should think carefully before voicing our disapproval.

Conversely, if we live in fear of blame or conflict, we are often easily persuaded into taking on the viewpoint of someone that we may not agree with. There is a thin line between non-judgement and self-assurance. As long as we don’t have confidence in ourselves, our lack of judgement means nothing. It simply reveals that we don’t have the confidence to speak our minds yet. Only when we can freely say what is on our minds, but choose a more compassionate route, then we can recognise the destructive nature of thoughtless, or even punitive, criticism. It fuels our own feelings of (false) superiority, as it perpetuates how strongly our egos influence us, which will make it more difficult to overcome the urge to criticise later on in life.

7. Stop Trying To Impress

There are many things that we do simply to fit it. Yet, as we bow to peer pressure to find social acceptance, we often fail to acknowledge that whoever we are attempting to impress would not accept us otherwise. People hide themselves for countless reasons…but it all goes back to the instinct for self-preservation that has allowed our ancestors to continue their line up to present day. To avoid pain, we do as is expected of us…Not because it is right or serves a higher purpose, but because it leads to some form of positive experience. It creates the short-lived pleasures that come with popularity. However, we should ask ourselves, whether it is worthwhile.

What good are friends, when they do not care for your problems or help you resolve them? What good is popularity, if you have to resort to extreme measure to achieve it? In truth, it is less painful to simply be yourself. If they do not accept you, then that is their loss. If they demean you, then eventually they’ll wreak the consequences of their actions. That should not concern you, nor should you go out of your way to be accepted by those that’ll drop you when the going get tough. It is better to face a thousand problems by yourself than to stand inside a crowd of people, who’d pretend to help but can’t be asked when the time comes.

Accept yourself by seeing how wonderful you are without the need to impress anyone, even yourself. Don’t lower your ethical standards, but don’t expect others to meet them, even if you raise the bar too high. Not everyone is a saint. Not everyone is a sinner. Sometimes people feel more comfortable floating in-between the two without conforming to either. Moreover, when we are trying to impress, two things generally happen: Firstly, we are pretending to be more than we perceive ourselves to be without becoming it. Secondly, we often become preoccupied with the opinions and quick judgement calls of others. In essence, we begin to value how we appear to others over who we actually are. With all that pressure, things are bound to escalate beyond our control eventually. Also, the higher we elevate ourselves (above our current state of development) the lower we shall fall… Pretence is never a suitable beginning for any relationship. As things progress, we will ultimately gather the courage to be ourselves in that relationship and that is often when the other person feels that they have been mislead. Worse comes to worst, they will feel as if they have been deceived and it will take some time to trust in that relationship again.

Nobody is perfect. However, who you are now will be enough to naturally impress the people that you are meant to surround yourself with. There is more to you than the eye can see. Although you may not notice, others do. What you consider as typically unimpressive can easily blow minds, if you allow yourself just to be you…without the social need to fit in or be accepted. In addition, you are generally more than you think you are. You are everything. If that is not ‘good enough’, then others have to re-examine their expectations. If their view of relationships or their expectation of you is unrealistic, moving entire mountains ranges does not change their perception of reality…Often only life-altering experiences can, but they may lose their mind a little beforehand, while they struggle to process the experience.

Conclusively, leaving a decent impression happens within seconds. We do not need to speak or even make eye-contact. It is all up to our preconceptions. It depends on how we perceive the world, which is rarely the way that it actually is. Don’t fall into that trap. Open your mind to the possibility that your senses can deceive you, as they probably have before. What you value in others may not lead to a positive end. If others wish to impress you by having a top-of-the-line car, apartment or high-paid job, then what does that say about them? What does it say about you, if you are that easily manipulated by appearances? Let yourself see another person for who they are deep inside, not what they say or what they own. It should be noted that what may impress some, generally achieves exactly the opposite with others. Whereas it is almost standard to have a basic set of things, such as work, shelter, TV and so on, countless members of society have been bereft of such opportunities. For example, the large number of veterans that live on the streets with severe forms of untreated PTSD. We often judge the homeless as drug-users, mentally ill or simply waste, although we know nothing about their history. We do not even take the time to investigate why so many men, woman and children live on the streets without any support to escape their situation, as the number continues to rise. What impresses them is a simple smile from a stranger or a kind word, when generally all they get from passers-by is evils shot in their direction. In other words, those that have nothing are more easily impressed by the simplest of things, which most take for granted. So, it is not important to portray a specific image as to leave a good impression, it is important to develop the courage to just be yourself. In our society, that is enough to shock, turn heads and blow minds.

8. Embrace Change

(Resistance Is Futile)

Nothing in this world is permanent. We may believe that our life shall remain the same forever, but that is a fallacy. Change happens every minute of every day, if we realise it or not. As soon as we understand that our way of adapting to change is more important than the change itself, we may come to see that beyond all this superficial change…Nothing ever changes. Leaders are still puppets led from behind the shadows. The currency exchange still short-changes us and has since Babylonian times. Enemies may change, but the hidden purpose behind warfare does not. Our history has not only been re-written to suit the victor, much of it has been deleted. Change is inevitable, but beneath the surface, little changes. When we realise this, we can embrace change as a challenge, however bad our situation may get. We may die tomorrow, but in truth not even death changes us. It may leave an impression on our consciousness. It may change our form in the next life, but who we were hasn’t changed. Our predispositions and predilections remain. We can only change by realising the changeless, timeless nature of all that is. Beyond what we carry with us this life or the following, we are infinite potential in a determined state of probability. What that means is, underneath all that which seems to be set in stone, nothing has been determined. Without consciousness, matter dwells in an undetermined state of probability…it becomes everything and nothing. The dice are rolling, but they will never fall. Our nature cannot change, because the nature of the multi-verse and that which it originates from cannot change. It exists prior to change.

In Sanskrit, the word for time is ‘kala’, which stands for both, time and change. In Indian psychology, the passage of time represents physical, psychological and emotional change. Without space-time, change is impossible. Where or when should it occur? Change is a phenomenon that is inherently connected to the concept of time as well as space. Without them, existence takes an entirely different shape. For example, each universe is dependent upon the one that came before it. Although some support life whereas other do not, one cannot manifest without the other. In a dualistic reality, everything manifests in opposites. On a larger scale, this is often depicted as many interconnected worlds. However, prior to this chain effect of worlds that we have coined the multi-verse, there is the source from which they all originate. So far, the only possible source of all these worlds is light. So far, it is the only theory that is mathematically plausible. However, what does that say about our ever-changing reality? It implies that everything we see is an illusion…A trick of light that fools our senses into perceiving the unreal as real.

When we attempt to question or define the nature of time and/or change, we rarely take into account that resistance is futile. We can scream, cry or aim to bend reality according to our will, but inevitably we have to reach a point of acceptance. Only by accepting that which we cannot change or have no control over may we find peace with how things appear to us right now. After that, we may eventually understand nothing is beyond our control, but only if we realise that there is nothing to control to begin with but ourselves. As difficult as it may be to reconcile these opposing viewpoints, we can only do so by getting to acquainted with our true self. The formless Self that existed prior to time.

So, back to the question, what is change? And how can we adapt to it more easily? Truth be told, by detaching from how its temporary nature affects our presence of mind. As long as our inner peace is dependent upon external factors, it is non-existent… Worse, it changes with the wind. Today, we may feel as if we are the king of the world. Tomorrow, we may become the beggar that has no choice, control or power about anything. Like the waves in the ocean, our life goes up and down. Therefore, resilience to change is not only beneficial to overcome how change can negatively influences us, it is essential. Furthermore, the moment, we accept, the impermanence of everything around us, we can free ourselves from all these time constraints. There is no time-limit to our existence. There is only the illusion of it that binds us.

When I first began to understand the true nature of Karma, I also learnt that time occurs simultaneously. Bear in mind that karma is cause and effect. It is not restricted to punishing you in this life for the actions committed in the last life. That is not how karma works. You are only reaping what you sowed in the last life, because it ended. Theoretically, if you lived for hundreds of years or had an infinite lifespan, you’d still suffer the effects of your actions. Simply with conscious knowledge of them. However, there is a catch. If time is simultaneous, as is karma. This means that without time, cause and effect equally exist as one. The cause becomes the effect and vice verse. Without meditation on the subject or some extraordinary experience, it can be difficult to understand, but it is worth exploring, if you have difficulty adapting to change.

By understanding the nature of cause and effect, it is slowly fathomed what space-time actually is. Although we perceive time as a physical measurement, it is a characteristic that can only take form in physical existence. Not existence in itself, which is inherently non-physical, but an existence that sprung forth from the source of all existences. I know what you must be thinking, she’s off her rocker. In any case, contemplate the reality behind what you have just read, even if you have to go back and re-read it multiple times. (I’ve been there with much weirder concepts lol) Reality is multi-faceted, as is truth, when everything is relative. However, as soon as we pass from the relative to the absolute, that is no longer the applicable. (Metaphysics, eh…) Prior to duality, there is non-duality. A state, in which change, space and/or time is non-existent. The properties of our consciousness are non-dual in essence, but that can be difficult to realise when we are drawn from one extreme to other. All aversions and attachments that seemingly shape our individual consciousness are mere impressions. They are footprints on the beach that will be swept away by the waves of time. The more we adapt to change, the less we are affected by things that would otherwise leave an impression. Our changeless nature prior to the multi-verse is acutely aware of all properties in all the worlds that is has created and/or destroyed. There is nothing that it is unfamiliar with or does not understand… Nothing is new to it and nothing can be hidden from it. Change is simply a point of realisation that we have yet to pass through, until we reach a level of being, where we can adapt to anything at a moments notice without hesitation.

9. Lose The Labels

“The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” Wayne Dyer

We cannot violate the laws of nature. Even if we woke up tomorrow with the one thing that we perceive as the most unnatural quality in the whole of the universe… It is inaccurate understanding of nature that encourages us to label specific aspects of the world. Good and evil, right or wrong, for example. Evil is a point of perception. For a Muslim, slaughtering animals for food is his divine right in accordance with divine law. For a Hindu or Buddhist, the slaughtering of an animal for a single meal has karmic repercussions, unless it fulfills a physical need that if unmet harms the body. (Hence, Buddhist hold a ceremony at the end of adolescence that marks the point, where the body does not require meat any longer to develop its faculties. However, they are very careful to compensate for the lack of maintenance through physical sustenance through detailed methods.) What we perceive as evil depends on our state and level of consciousness. Our world does not collectively function on a level of higher consciousness, as is ensured by a small elite. However, that does not mean attaining a state of higher consciousness is impossible. It is simply more difficult with greater consequences and/or benefits.

Labelling things may seem to make things easier, but it cannot lead to higher consciousness or true happiness. We cannot use language to describe that which exists prior to the mind. Language or thought cannot fathom the source of all existence. Obedience to social principles may lure us into a false sense of happiness, if we are the ones enforcing them, but as long as they are successfully enforced upon us, they inhibit our growth. As long as we use labels, we cannot see reality for what it is. Everything, if we focus on it long enough, leads to the that which exists beyond to reality. The reality that existed prior to all reality.

Labels are an expression of inequality. From a non-dual point of view, good and evil, for instance, are one. From a causal viewpoint, evil exists because good men fail to act. Be that as it may, opposites can only exist in a relativistic existence. Outside of that existence, they merge. When we label something, it once again reveals more about ourselves than it does about the object/subject in question. We don’t see things as they are. Understanding them is often too much time as well as effort. So, we use a few words at most to label it and file it away in our minds. This limits us more than it helps us, unless labels become a means to further explore the matter. The only use labels have is to train the mind into thinking ahead by discerning our perception toward the nature of a thing and where that will lead us.

Some people in this world don’t realise that we create our own suffering. As long as we view our reality in terms of labels…(or in terms of ownership for that matter) that will not change. When we begin to see things as either conducive or restrictive for your growth, we begin to see that labels are more restricting to our development than we previously thought.

Labels uncover our preferences. Our preferences, in turn, reveal our attachments, aversions and ignorance, which is often rooted in desire. What we views as good depends on our likes and dislikes, but only as long as our perception is clouded. When we see things clearly, we are beyond like and dislike for no reason other than like or dislike. We begin to use our minds to reason why we like or dislike something or someone. In doing so, we transform preference into self-knowledge, which is the only means overcome unhealthy habits that’ll cause more suffering than they are worth.

10. Give Up Fears, Insecurities & Anger

“There are fears of various types which keep us secretly unhappy, and many of the activities of life in the conscious level are attempts to brush aside these fears; and then we imagine that they do not exist at all. We occupy ourselves so busily with works of various types as a kind of outlet or counteracting power against these fears, usually known in the language of psychology as defence mechanisms. We protect ourselves by certain psychic mechanisms which we have formed within ourselves as a kind of self-deception, we may say, finally. This is the attitude of the ostrich which is said to bury its head in the sand when it is threatened with any kind of fear outside. It hides its head in the sand so that it cannot see things outside, and when nothing is seen outside, it thinks that nothing exists outside. This is not merely the ostrich’s way but, perhaps, the attitude of every human being when he is faced with insoluble difficulties. The problems are mostly in the unconscious level; they are not always on the conscious surface. It may not appear to us that they exist at all. We are comfortably placed in a sensory world wherein the senses are fed to surfeit, and they keep us completely ignorant of the dangerous abyss through which we may have to pass in the future stages of our life. We are brainwashed by the impetuous activities of the senses to such an extent that we cannot be aware of what is ahead of us, what may happen tomorrow, because if we can be awakened to the fact of all things that are to be faced in the future, we may perish just now with a fear of it, and Nature does not want anybody to die like that, as it would defeat its purpose. Nature keeps everything as a secret and lets the cat out of the bag only when necessary.”

Keep the desire, power and emotion at arms length… As long as we are too caught up in the ups and downs of life, we are not embracing the process of life. Everything has its reason, as do negative emotions. We cannot confront our fears, if we don’t know where to start. We cannot truly be secure in ourselves, if we do not believe in ourselves. Last but not least, we cannot calm our temper, if we don’t know what exactly it is that pushes our buttons. That notwithstanding, there are a few important things to note first. All emotions are temporary, when they are based in things that cannot last by their nature. True happiness is all-pervading and ever-present. It is the height of bliss and the foundation of peace. It is the source of all joy, even corrupted versions of itself. Moreover, the joy that we feel has its roots in spirit. Our fears, anger and insecurities do not. In spirit, we are calm, fearless and secure.

Our fears are revealing, when it comes to our aversions. For example, fears of water is often related to a fear of drowning, which inadvertently comes from a fear of pain and death. Most fears exist as a result of a negative experience that has left a deep impression. (In children, fears without apparent cause can be related to past life experiences) To lessen these impression, we must confront them. Let fear be your teacher. If we fear spiders or rats, then simply being with one on the other end of the room is a good place to start. Eventually, we may realise that our fear is unfounded or we may understand where that fear comes from. Beyond discomfort, our desire to avoid something often speaks to its negative potential. Certain spiders and snakes carry poisonous venom that kills, but the majority have become extinct as a result of our modern lifestyle. Unless you are reading this from some remote jungle, lugging around your own wifi emitter that connects straight to a satellite, (or live near one), then it is doubtful that you will be exposed to such a danger anytime soon. Fear clouds our judgement, and often makes exposure more likely. As long as we remain calm, we are in total control of our faculties, which makes us more adept at dealing with the situation at hand. In life, there is nothing to fear, as long as you know deep within yourself that you will survive whatever comes, even death. Our spirit existed prior to eternity… In other words, the eternal duration of all of time and space. Nothing can harm it. All fear does is inhibit peace, love and understanding, when the bliss that comes from general ignorance wears off.

We only feel truly secure in ourselves, when we free ourselves from fear, self-doubt and anger. The world could crumble around us, but that feeling of inner safety remains. We feel safe in spirit. More accurately, we feel safe when we are in contact with our own spirit, as it is the same spirit that pervades all things. It is the purest and holiest… Yet, it never takes form. We cannot touch it, we can only be absorbed by it. (But those are just words that can never compare to a fragment of an experience involving the Universal Spirit)

Anger, in the simplest of terms, is a buildup of energy. It accumulates and blows. The more it blows, the more it accumulates. Anger is a tool that serves a purpose, but not a wholesome one. It’s physiological effects are distructive and its poisonous effects on the mind are well documented. Without control, anger leads to verbal and physical violence that wreaks damage, which cannot be undone. The reason behind our anger is often cold and methodical. In the unconscious, our reasoning can be so simple and straightforward that we so easily overlook it. However, anger can just as easily be used as a means to distract from an issue. In any case, detaching is a necessary means to understanding its root. If our anger is rooted in a fear of confronting something or someone, then we must do so. If our anger is over wasted opportunities, then we must create new ones. As soon as we realise that we can deal with anger more creatively, our mind quickly gets the hang of it. It begins to adapt to situations without extreme emotion, but calm determination.

The Difference Between Pain & Suffering


“Pain is inevitable,
Suffering is optional…”

The word ‘pain’ defines a condition of consciousness, in which we experience hardship. In simple terms, it it the condition of having been injured either physically, mentally or emotionally… However, must pain always invoke suffering?

In simple terms, no. At the deepest depths of pain, suffering can become a reality as a result of emotional as well as psychological attachment. In romantic relationships, this can be to the person, who inflicts violence and abuse on an unassuming victim. Yet, more often than not, it is an attachment to our preconceptions.
We believe pain must inevitably lead to suffering, therefore we simply accept suffering as an unchanging, immutable companion of pain…

Where Does Pain Begin?

In the mind, always. From a biochemical perspective, pain starts a spark in the wiring of the brain [i.e. neurotransmitter signaling]. Yet, on a quantum level, any type of pain is mere information. For example, when we put our hand in a burning fire, we are basically reaching into a cobweb of particles that are moving much faster than our own. What we experience as “Ouch, that’s hot.” is a small collision of particles, communicating the extent of the injury. In terms of thermodynamics, two objects are initiating thermal contact, in which they are exchanging energy, but cant achieve an equilibrium. As particles collide, the cells in our hands are acutely aware of what is happening. This causes a wave of signals to surge through the sympathetic nervous system to initate a pre-conditioned response to the experience. As a darwinian throwback, it takes great willpower to keep our hand in the fire, the more intense the flames.

Psychological pain is akin to its physical counterpart in that it is governed by similar laws

As we burn ourselves, we experience a drain on our energy reserves. This drain persists until the injury has healed fully. The pain is a byproduct of not merely the experience, but its engram…the physical equivalent of its impression on the individual consciousness.

However, in the spiritual sense, pain is a result of conflict. The multiverse functions very similarly to a self-contained holomovement, in which various domains of space-time are [thought to be] casually interlinked. From the moment of the Big Bang, universe after universe emerges…yet they remain an intrinsic part of an interconnected whole. Without them as a form of containment unit for space-time, energy-potential could not become energy and energy could not be condensed into matter.

Therein lies the origin of conflict. In an interconnected whole, we are an indivisible part of the totality of the multiverse. We no longer exist as individuals or a planetary collective, we are at one with the cosmos as well as that which gave rise to it. We may feel we are linked as a people or cosmic whole of consciousness, but we rarely translate this knowledge into an actuality.
For what it is worth, realisation of such multiversal unity is as destructive as it is liberating, hence few choose this path. Even at the highest point of enlightenment in the physical body, pain persists, because we remain in the confines of relative existence [i.e. space-time].

Where does suffering end?

What’s the root cause of mental, emotional or physical suffering? Giving power to that which we have no direct control over is what causes suffering. In other words, we relinquish control, which in turn serves as a source of pain that leads to suffering.

Focus on what you can directly control and accept what you cannot.

There’s a dark gap between what you’re doing and what you’re truly capable of. For instance, when we aim to complete a task, we follow our objectives in order to achieve a level of success. This success is more often than not defined by attaining a specific goal, we have no direct control over. Mentally speaking, when we work toward any goal, our mind is preoccupied by past attempts and preconceptions about the future, so it cannot fully concentrate on the process to improve it while it is still ongoing. Our actions throughout the process are fully under our control, but we are too occupied to focus on the present moment.

If we define success as giving our best in the process, then we cannot fail, feel calmly confident, and can accept any outcome with equanimity.

Suffering is the psychological resistance to what happens. A person can inflict physical pain on us, but suffering only come from resisting what is, from fighting with reality…although it’s futile to fight them, because we can’t change or undo what already is. Nevertheless, we fight with reality all the time in our desire for it to be different. We must have it our way, the way we want it, the way we expected it to be…

Whenever we desire something that isn’t in our power, our sense of inner confidence as well as tranquility is shaken. Often, if we don’t get what we want, we’ll be upset, but if we do, we will experience anxiety, apprehension and insecurity. Therefore, we should always focus on what is now…what we can control our actions but not the outcome. We can give all that is in our power, but we must invariably accept whatever happens.

Focus on what you control, and take the rest as it happens in order to make the most of it.

External factors may have the power to affect how and even whether you live, but they don’t have the power over your spirit in this life and those yet to come. Only you yourself can give them this power over the deepest part of you [by failing to act as well as you’re capable of].
We must make sure that our happiness depends as little as possible on internal or external factors. There should be only a loose connection between what happens to us and how happy we feel. We may focus on what we control, trying to make the best of any given situation and only wanting what is within our power…However, that still invites suffering. It is never possible to make happiness consistent with longing. True happiness implies the possession of all which is desired, yet we can never obtain all we desire.
So, what we aim for is a transient state of conditional happiness. We bind our happiness to some past, present or future event. Time after time, we promise ourselves, we will be happy after we have achieved our next goal, but we never are.

We never experience happiness, because we are never satisfied. It’s like trying to wall off the edge of the Earth, we can walk for miles and miles but won’t get any closer. Either we keep on yearning for stuff we don’t have, or we actually have a chance for happiness. We can’t have both. True happiness is when you have all you desire at the point when you desire nothing from the world or it’s people.

If we wish to be unconditionally happy, we must seek happiness within ourselves.

We’ve been equipped with the necessary tools to create a satisfactory life, regardless the hardships we face in life. So, if we want to be content, we must change ourselves and our desires. We cannot change the things that happen in the world around us, we can only change the way we look at those things and what we choose to make out of them

Relationships in Times of Mass Extinction


Any man is liable to err, only a fool persists in error.

– Marcus Cicero

The refugee crisis of 2015 (that is still waiting to reach its peak) has highlighted the Western resource and wealth inequality to the extent, where people are no longer able to deny its effects. The most common stressor that disturbs the balance of any relationship is money problems. It is one thing to be unable to afford going out on Friday night, it is quite another to scavenge for food. Women and men alike have their breaking point. However, it appears that over the previous years, men have been more greatly affected by the recessions than women. Once survival is threatened, all bets are off. The balance of power in the relationship is altered beyond the point of return.

One does not have to be mentally or emotionally unstable to break it off, when one’s partner is unable to provide. In many Western cultures, this behaviour is even encouraged. In fact, one would have to be either so mentally stable/unstable that it borders on sociopathic tendencies to stay. However, it also results in countless broken homes and single parents fending by themselves. Although everyone should have to prerogative to act as they choose, it is hard times that determine the strength of a relationship. If we all were to stray at the first sight of trouble, mankind would have never made it to present day. Nonetheless, many blood-lines most likely only survived, because they did whatever was necessary to ensure the continued existence of themselves and therefore their genetic lineage. One may argue that the current disposable nature of society has driven its inhabitants to view their relationships as equally disposable. While divorce sky-rockets, few strive to patch things up, regardless of what mistakes were made. The problems have begun to extend beyond the relationship and can rarely be reconciled, merely overcome.

For example, adultery has less of an impact on the outcome of relationships than money concerns. Whereas many can forgive the occasional slip-up, constant financial worries are overcome far less often. From personal experience, I can attest to the fact that long-term relationships are hard work, but they are also very rewarding, if you are with the right person. After two years, the relationship is still relatively fresh, however, many couples decide to tie the knot after approximately a year (dependent on age). In other words, the length of a relationship only partly affects the impact of financial woes. When women are put in the position of fuel poverty, starvation or homelessness, the majority will seek a more suitable mate that can meet their base requirements. However, the minority are either so in love that it does not matter or they are invested in the relationship for different reasons. Although it is often assumed that sex is a primary reason for this, I’ve always found it insufficient and unrealistic. Sexual pleasure can cloud the mind so far, before other needs become more pressing. Besides, homeless couples rarely have the opportunity to be intimate. Their bond is one much deeper. Theirs is one that goes beyond the material. In fact, research suggests couples that endure traumatic experiences or persistent hardship are more likely to stay together. In a way, the trust that is forged between couples when surviving life-threatening circumstances is profound and far less often betrayed. Couples describe a sense of knowing their partner at their best and at their worst. However, they also emphasise the uncertainty of entering a new relationship with a new partner that may not cope as effectively. One particular couple that I was acquainted with suffered great ordeals, only for the husband to pass on from a fatal head-wound two months after they had finally resettled. The wife found herself at the beginning of a complicated, long-winded grieving process, in which she closed herself off from the world. The one thing we had in common at the time was the fact that she could not imagine a relationship with any other type of man. When she began dating after a year of therapy, she asked me to call her an hour in to provide her with an emergency exit strategy. Despite the fact, she was comfortable socialising, she was bored out of her mind, listening to his macho tales. All she could hear was incessant jabbering about the newest gadgets, newest fashion and the woe-is-me tales of ex girlfriends that were probably drawn way out of proportion. As was evident, they were rather ill-matched. For most women, a financially stable man is irresistibly attractive, but wealth can disappear in an instant. Bankruptcy, financial hardship or other unfortunate experiences affect the way a minority of women operate. Particularly, when it comes down to selecting a mate.

Few men and women cope well during financial turmoil, which is understandable, since it is a matter of working progress. In Apocalypse & the Middle-Classes, I explained that different social classes cope differently when disaster strikes. The lead-up to mass extinction is grinding society to a halt, in some of the most inhumane ways to keep itself going for as long as possible. Without adequate food production and distribution to all of the planet, over a quarter of the species already live in poverty without proper nutrition. Adding the refugee crisis to the equation only shows how thin we are stretching ourselves with highly destructive tools to feed, clothe and shelter all. Once more, it highlights inadequate wealth and resource production, distribution and renewal. The resources we take, we do not replenish. The manner through which we produce these resources is not merely flawed but environmentally hazardous. Without addressing the root cause of our problems, we are and/or will be forced to resort to extreme measures to survive. In sum, our way of living inevitably affects our reproductive behaviour. For some women that means trading up, for others that means turning tricks, but for a small minority it means to reflect on the bigger picture. Each of those three coping mechanisms have their roots in fallen civilisations. Although prostitution is thought of as the oldest of all professions, it is generally discouraged and disapproved of in modern society, even in the most dire circumstances. Therefore, it is a road less travelled. Looking for another mate is considered the more logical option. But when everyone is just as worse off, who are you going to choose? Mass extinction invariably impedes on the logic of reproduction, in times where the survival of the species is threatened. This could result in reproductive behaviour reverting back to a time when the sacrifice of one’s own life for the life of the infant was a common occurrence. In other words, we may revert back to a time when we would had to selflessly play against the odds of our long-term survival for the sake of short-term happiness. The brutal truth is that few would willingly choose that end, if push comes to shove. Conversely, there are always be those that will.

“Some people view love and romance as a sacred bond between two individuals. Other people see love as a game, where the goal is to manipulate another individual and gain emotional power over a partner.”

In conclusion, it is often argued that women are driven to go where the food is on an evolutionary basis, unless conditioned behaviour or other events supersede the most basic survival mechanisms. This is particularly the case in societies where farming is not an option or prohibited by law. It is inferred that this is what makes us more likely to cheat, but only a small minority of women have it so bad that it justifies adultery, as they could technically decide to leave at anytime. Commitment issues are only a small part of why relationships fail. Uncertainty, misrepresentation, distrust or outright deceit are all the more manifest in presence of commitment and abandonment issues. On a separate note, a former client of mine always used to say “Women are like money’s. They won’t let go of the old branch until they’ve got a new one.” Despite his troubled past with women, he has a point. Ironically, his statement is true for a large percentage of men and women. Research suggests men and women are more prone to jumping from one relationship into another when the partner is far from what they’re looking for and a more suitable mate presents itself. However, it begs the question whether emotional attachment serves as an indicator of balance in the relationship. As an unhealthy degree of emotional attachment can develop in any relationship, it is often useful to take time and reflect…To continuously invest effort and resources into the relationship as a sign of commitment, if it is one-sided can hamper marital bliss and equality. However, some are not capable of reciprocity, even if the issue is addressed repeatedly. Particularly, where money is tight and emotions run too high for personal comfort. In that case, one has to either accept that they may not change or walk away.

Related Articles:

https://quantummediocrity.wordpress.com/2014/02/12/apocalypse-surival-middle-classes/

More Than Human


There’s a place,
Where you can set your illusions on fire
And watch them burn.
Out of the ashes of all lost hope,
A newly conceived dream rises.
The endeavor of peace…
Of brotherhood…
Of a united species with a single objective.
The attainment of truth.
A future that hangs in the balance.
Injustice persists,
When good men fail to act.

There’s a place,
Where with every passing day,
More blood is shed in wars over resources.
More of the arctic melts away,
Flooding the shores.
Greed and lust for power masquerades,
As the assertive hand of peacekeeping.
The clock slowly ticks away,
Whilst each and every idea is gift-wrapped,
As the intellectual property of the new world.
Exposure to toxic chemicals is increased.
Injustice persists,
Since good men fail to act.

There’s a place,
In which knowledge flows
Through the fabric of reality…
In which nothing is as it seems,
Happiness is a choice,
And the truth will set you free.
Peace represents a state of harmony,
Created out of mere kindness…
By the desire of the species
To share with one another
Without condition or consequence
In such a way that has no end.
To act in kind,
Even against all the odds.