Who Can We Truly Depend On?

What’s happens when you trust someone completely…when we begin to believe that one person wouldn’t let us down as long as it was within their power to prevent it…Yet, we can never truly know anyone in this life, even ourselves, so how can we trust?

In simple terms, we cannot without the kind of nasty surprises, which topple our whole world. Although they aren’t always unfortunate reminders we should never trust a living soul, they are quite often… Hence, when we find ourselves in a position of great risk, we must decide wisely. What we know of whomever, we are willing to risk a lot for, is a fragment of who they truly are inside. They are just letting us see what they want us to. So, when the mask slips, then we are privy to a mere glimpse of what they have to hide…In truth, most of us would run for the hills, if we ever saw anyone for who they are. We are no longer conditioned to strive for meaningful connections…

These days, things capable withstanding the test of time have become all too rare. We can now only find true loyalty in the darkest of places. Even then it is few and far between. It has become easier to engage with others under the guide of actual trust than to rob them in the broad daylight (of straightforward honesty), so to speak.
Nowadays, what used to strengthen our relationships is the very thing that tears them apart. We have become so accustomed to ‘being’ the way other people expect, to ‘saying’ what they want to hear and ‘thinking’ how we should in their eyes… Few say what they think. Fewer do the right thing, when everybody claims it is wrong…In the process, we have lost who we are deep inside for the pretence of being a part of something that doesn’t exist as we imagine it.
Times have changed. On a global scale, our ability to forge committed relationship depends on our capacity to listen, empathise and respond appropriately with genuine involvement in other person’s life. We must be committed to the fulfillment of their highest potential with similar or greater intensity….But let’s be honest, this is hard work that requires us to act as selflessly as possible at every opportunity.

While we still build different types of relationships for the wrong reasons, their foundations are no longer as solid as they are supposed to be. We cannot depend on others as we used to, but then we cannot leave our doors unlocked anymore either. What once was a communal setting, designed to foster qualities to aid our lifelong development, is treated as an hostile environment now…and occasionally for sane reasons. For example, London residents in many low income areas, rife with gang activity and religious extremism, risk becoming a victim of violence, each time they leave their flats. Who should they depend on? Their mayor, who believes it is all part and parcel of living in the city. They are more likely to be saved by the benevolence of a passing stranger than by an overworked, underpaid police force…or those in their charge of their budgeting… Perhaps Bruce Lee can depend on his skills to get out of a life-threatening situation with multiple attackers, but the average person can’t…So, our dependence on one another in such situations seems perfectly logical, even when help often can’t arrive in time.

However, life & death situations are the most notable example of how nobody can survive alone. Sooner or later, we must depend on somebody or something…but those are extreme circumstances that only compare to how much we depend on others to a limited extent. For instance, the people we can rely on during difficult times will most likely also be a pillar of support for us after a traumatic event. Extremes merely bring out dependency issues that already influence our daily living. They amplify needs, which are already present, in a way they might represent a burden to others over time. Although the average recovery period after a traumatic event can be from 3-6 months to 1-3 years, the majority of modern society has little tolerance for this… For instance, if someone already has an overbearing personality, any event making them more dependent is likely to drive people away…and if we can’t depend on anyone, we have a low chance of survival when things get tough. All too often I’ve encountered the kindest individuals, whose only ambition was to be liked at any cost. Some were devoted to altering their behaviour to please those around them, it hurt to watch every attempt thwarted. Others began to relish the dislike for whatever qualities they displayed, as a defence mechanism, so they increased the frequency of said behaviour.

…What Matters Above All Else…

How do we inspire the kind of loyalty seen only on rare occasions? How we persevere, when we cannot even elicit a hint of tolerance? Perhaps, it is not destination that matters but the journey. It takes a great deal of experience to be as genuine as we were as children. When we reach adulthood, we often lose that innate compassion. It is far easier to offer sympathy than actual help…especially when we are in a superior position of any kind and don’t wish to end up the same way. As though, bad luck is contagious, people tend to avoid those who suffer from it, if they are not actively invested in them.

In general, it is healthy for an independent adult to share whatever they wish with another…Socially, even if we come to depend on it over time, however, only when we are able cope with its sudden loss without emotional upheaval. (Perhaps, we should eventually ask ourselves, when did society become so cold.) Still, before we attempt to rack our brains around that chestnust, we must examine our own biases. No matter how much we believe, we can never truly be independent…We shall always need others for caring support to master our lives…So how can we deny this to others when they truly need it?

Psychology of the Cheshire Cat

“…and this time it vanished quite slowly, beginning with the end of the tail, and ending with the grin, which remained some time after the rest of it had gone.”

At this point Alice remarks “she has often seen a cat without a grin but never a grin without a cat.”

The cat sometimes raises philosophical points that annoy or baffle Alice.
One of the things I love most about Alice in Wonderland is the kaleidoscopic nature of the setting. Characters simply appear, interact with Alice and subsequently disappear. However, in the case of the Cheshire Cat, the disappearance is literal. He is very much a guide, pointing the way to the next step of the adventure. I could go deeper and claim the Cheshire Cat is the Jungian archetype of the mysterious trickster, but that analysis is only partially true. He’s clever, but not as deceptive as your average trickster.
In my humble opinion, the Cheshires honesty and straight-forwardness make him the sanest character in the stories.

“In that direction,” the Cat said, waving its right paw round, “lives a Hatter…and in that direction,” waving the other paw, “lives a March Hare. Visit either you like. They’re both mad.”

“But I don’t want to go among mad people,” Alice remarked.

“Oh, you can’t help that,” said the Cat: “we’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.”

“How do you know I’m mad?” said Alice.

“You must be,” said the Cat, “or you wouldn’t have come here.”

Moreover, the Cheshire yields a powerfully enlightening influence over Alice. Though he is the only one to listen, take her seriously and offer sound advice, he never sticks around for long…but he is always there when he is needed most. As a plot device, he serves a singular purpose: to drive the storyline.

Conversely, who has not met someone, who comes and goes at will? Each time they involve themselves in other peoples lives, they only stay for as long as their presence is physically necessary. Regardless of the situation, once it has passed, they vanish into thin air until the next time. To connect with these kinds of people in real life is almost impossible. They are aloof and detached to the point of madness. However, in the case of the Cheshire Cat, we are introduced to a version of such a personality is more balanced than most.

How so? To rest in the knowledge that we are all insane in our own way restores a level of psychological health, at which we question what functional behaviour truly is. In Wonderland, we are immersed in a place, where nothing is as it appears…like in any world, appearances are deceptive and therefore cannot be trusted, so look within for real answers. From an educational perspective, it introduces children to very valuable lessons, they’ve yet to come into contact with through life experiences.

As we grow older, we are conditioned to internalise such life lessons through failed relationships, social faux pas etc. For what it’s worth, to internalise said lessons is supposed to pave the way to adulthood…but it merely complicates the process of discarding outdated coping mechanisms, learning new things or seeing the world through different eyes.

This notwithstanding, there is one disturbing aspect of the books, we often overlook as we believe our children are not mature enough to grasp the concept…Wonderland’s madness is greater than the sum of its parts. When surrounded by chaos, no single situation or person has an especially strong influence, but the cumulative effect on one is more than the circumstances, people or else combined...and so fiction bridges into reality…

In actuality, what we consider to be “normal” behavior is “mad” in the Wonderland context, but it can be just as mad in a real world context.
The order of events creates the context, we use to navigate through life. However, every person interprets reality differently. The order of events that created our world as we know it forms the context, in which we perceive our identity. In the case of Alice, for instance, her curiosity to understand the world around her defines her character. In a positive light, she questions what is happening around her. In a negative frame of reference, she leaps before looking. She ventures down the rabbit hole “never once considering how in the world she was to get out again“. For what it is worth, she doesn’t have any particular reason for the things she does, except that she wants to find out more about the world around her. She also doesn’t have any plan for dealing with the consequences of leaping without a seconds thought.

The conversations between Alice and the Cheshire Cat are filled with relevant details on how the world works down in Wonderland. Though their interactions are fleeting, their relationship reforces specific realisations that are yet to dawn on her. When she throws all caution to the wind, she’s reminded of them, but no solemn reminder can rein in her natural inclination to experiment. After all, in an insane place, to be mad is a testament to our sanity…and to know everyone is mad must mean we may only be more aware of our insanity than most.

Prior to & After Alice’s Adventure
While most often celebrated in an Alice-related context, the Cheshire Cat predates the 1865 novel. “To grin like a Cheshire Cat” is in fact an expression, which dates back to Victorian times, as described in the Oxford Dictionary of Idioms.

After the publication, the character of the Cheshire Cat transcended fictional literature and became enmeshed in far more than just popular culture, appearing in various forms of media, from political cartoons to television. It also appears in many cross-disciplinary studies, from business to science.

Bonus Fact

Tactical Emapthy: How Much Of An Asshole Am I?

We humans are preeminently social animal. Over thousands of years ago, our ancestors developed complex systems of grouping together as a community to improve their quality of life. During this process, their neurological make-up adapted. They evolved “mirror neurons“, which were more refined and sensitive than those of other primates. On a less refined level, these neurons assist us in mimicking behaviour (excl. genetic implications). However, the art of imitation is more than mere mimicry. “Monkey see, monkey do” will only get us so far in life. Anything further requires understanding of the mind as well as anticipation of its content in order to cultivate a seeminly genuine imitation.
In other words, what began as preverbal communication grew into something more sophisticated to allow for advanced degrees of cooperation. To hone our skills, we needed to refine our ability to detect what people are thinking and feeling. Before our reasoning powers fully unfold this way, even the most sentient beings can’t take their ability to empathise to the next level. In essence, they struggle to see patterns in peoples behavior as well as deduce peoples inner motivations, which will invariably make them appear to be socially insensitive or even callous.

Why We Possess Empathy

Compared to other animals, we remain relatively helpless for many years before we can truly operate on our own. This extended period of immaturity, lasting approx. 12-18 years, serves a valuable function. It encourages us to focus on developing by far the most important weapon in the human arsenal: our brain.
Yet, this prolonged period of dependency can build on negative but also positive tendencies. When our survival depends on the adaptability and reliability of our caregivers, we either learn to behave in ways to meet our needs or we will lack them. Although it would fill most children with unbearable anxiety to think of their parents as fallible, some don’t have a choice. They must grow up fast, so their world-understanding and sense of empathy grow accordingly.
While our capacity to understand others is still developing, we initially perceive our parents as stronger, wiser and more altruistic than they are in reality. This is due to the fact that we view their actions through the lens of our needs, and so they become an extension of ourselves. We project what we want and need to see onto those in charge of our care. Our perception of people becomes saturated with various emotions, such as love, need, sorrow or anger. Then inevitably, in
adolescence, we get a closer glimpse at the dark side of the human condition.

Empathy is the process of focusing our attention outward instead of inward, honing the observational and empathic skills that we naturally possess. It means moving past our tendency to idealise or judge…to simply see them for who they are and accept them. It is a school of thought, which must be cultivated as early as possible.
For example, in the case of Benjamin Franklin, known for his social intelligence. As the second youngest of a large extended family, he learned to get his way through charm. As he got older he came to believe, as many young people do, that getting along with others is a function of behaving charmingly and winning them over with a friendly manner. Yet, the more he interacted with the real world, the more began to see his charm as the actual source of his problem. Being charming was a strategy he had developed out of need. It was a reflection of his narcissism, of the love he had of his own words and wit. It had no relation to other people and their needs. It did not prevent them from exploiting or attacking him. To be truly charming and socially effective you have to understand people, and to understand them you have to get outside yourself and immerse your mind in their world. Only when he realized how deeply naive he had been could he take the necessary steps to move past this naiveté.

When we use empathy as a form of tactical maneuver to sway opinions, we aren’t displaying genuine care or interest in another person…

We have all reached the point of nearly tearing our hair out, when we were talking to someone who was just not listening. Even if we try to convey important information in a manner, which the person is supposed to relate to…but they just don’t give a fuck. This is not what I’m talking about. Each one of us has days, when we can’t be bothered to listen either because we are preoccupied, distracted, drained or for other reasons. There are degrees of listening. Nobody can listen 100% all the time. There is something far worse than a bad day…making a life of empathising as a means to an end. In truth, most of us have done that, when we can’t muster the genuine emotions required to get what we need to get through the day. For example, if we wanna see an action film instead of a chick flick, but he doesn’t want to.

It depends on how often we do this that makes us who we are. If we care too much, we give away so much energy to the problems of other people that we may burn out in the process. On the other hand, when we give too little, we drain energy reserves, which aren’t ours to deplete. Everything in moderation. These are the concerns of the average person, but when relating becomes tactical, empathy becomes exploitation. We witness this on a daily basis through the social imbalance of power, we come into contact with… However, we don’t expect to accept it from our friends or loved ones, even though it is commonplace. Some pass off the small white lies as a kindness, others mascarade an emptiness devoid of conscience to variant degrees. There’s a difference between a having conscience and acting on it. We can either act in accordance with our own ethical code or we can have the capacity to feel remorse. The latter usually negates the need for the former.

Where Does Real Empathy Get Us?

We all know the type of person, who spends day after day working an angle. They may use a pretty smile or kind word to their advantage, but it is a strategic attempt to achieve a very specific goal. They may care or may not care about the people, they are essentially faking almost every interaction with…but does it matter? During the act, they definitely care, just to varying degrees. However, the closer we get to reaching our goal, the less we tend to care. It is no secret that we aren’t saints, but we are often less considerate than we could be. We are prone to caring less than we pretend to. Also we are less likely to accept rejection gracefully, when we need the answer to be “yes”.
This is not the same as the desire for those interactions to be real. When we do the right thing, hoping the feeling behind them will surface eventually, we are in fact fighting our selfish impulses (sometimes genetically active traits). It is another level entirely to commit the most intimate betrayals, only to know what we are supposed to feel but don’t…If we know the damage we are leaving in our wake and simply just carry on to satisfy our own needs, then we ultimately face a worse fate.

In the end, we are all assholes on occasion, no matter how hard we try to be kind at all times…to never say no. Nobody can devote their complete attention to a person at all times, even stalkers eventually snap in the attempt. However, to truly love another as a colleague, friend or relative, we must be consistently committed and involved in fulfilling their highest potential. At times, this means just being physically present without showing any kind of judgement while they pour their heart out. Other times, it may imply tough love. To say, “No” when we are being taken advantage of by someone whose growth we care about. In truth, we always know so little or feel so much about each other as people that we fail to seize the opportunity.

Can We Know The Absolute Truth?

Was there a time in your life, in which you questioned your loyalty to those around you or even to yourself? Although it is bound to occur sooner or later, it happens far too early and far too frequently for some. The reason for this is not the devolution of society, community or the family unit, but rather the concept of “knowing” itself.
In order to know anything, we must adhere to the same principles as the observer effect, which it turn means that knowing shares some of the same implications.

In the realm of physics, everything has a cause and yields an effect. Ergo, everything happens for a reason, even if the reason does not seem all that apparent. In probablistic algorithms, this includes the act of learning that ultimately leads to the attainment of further knowledge in the future. Consider this process in slow motion:

1. Introduction – the place and time we encounter the subject or object in question, incl. surrounding events leading up to that very moment.|
2. Development of Interest – the instant our curiosity is peaked.
3. Assimilation of Information – the more interested we are, the more we begin to learn about the subject or object.
4. Interpretation Through Perception – After much information gathering, we draw a conclusion based on what we know.
5. Repeat Process

When perceive knowing from this standpoint, how we trust becomes a consequence of a long-winded thought process, starting at the beginning of our individual consciousness.

Without the fundamental knowledge about an object or subject, we are only able to draw a finite number of conclusions. So, at times, we are lulled into complacency and trust on faith….However, instead of an assent of the mind to the truth, our blind reliance on others can carry a steep price, if we are not careful.

In any case, the tendency to trust too easily as well as the inability to trust are a symptom of a larger problem. These opposite ends of the “trust spectrum” also happen to address a rather relevant philosophical conundrum that may bridge the gap between the two extremes: the absolute aspects of “knowingness” in relative space-time.

On this note, we arrive at the question what is knowing? The term dates back to the 14th century, when the adjective was defined as “with knowledge of truth”, which leads us to ask, what is truth? Now, truth exists in two forms in a dualistic universe or universe with a circular spectrum: (1) relative and (2) absolute. In both forms, truth is often equivalated with proper awareness. Conversely, what we define as proper is determined by social standards. Our oldest understanding of proper means to be adapted to some purpose. In ideal world, the purpose would be honourable, filled with noble intentions to shape a world free from suffering. Yet, in any society, the purpose is swayed by mainstream information. Ultimately, this purpose can eiher bring us toward or further away from expanding our consciousness. Even when we are in a state of apparent stagnation, there is still movement in the form of tempero-spatial progression. In simple terms, our consciousness still perceives what is happening as sequence of events within the space time continuum from our individual perspective. This often comes with an involuntary confirmation bias, in which we interpret reality in a way that confirms our personal as well as collective preconceptions. Hence, we draw conclusions in the absence of experiential evidence prior to the self. Far too often, we do not even attempt to verify what we think to be true.

In addition, at higher levels of consciousness, all-time occurs simultaneously while all-space converges. All that was, is or could ever be happens all at once as a seemingly singular, interconnected movement known as our universe. In essence, our universe is the result of a chain-reaction, from which gazillions of possibilities unfold, but onle one can manifest.
When we stand further back to perceive our universe as just one possible form of existence, we are simply one string interweaved in a myriad of others. We could argue, all of which are circular and explore the implications. We could envision a cascade of never-ending existences, trying to imagine what they would be like. However, we can only know by being…through that long-winded battle of striving to attain a state of infinite existence and succeeding…

To clarify, our universe is merely a tiny ripple in a vast cosmic sea of possible realities, just as we are a tiny ripple in the bottomless ocean of society. So, all we know seems circumstantially relative, but becomes much more definitive when we translate knowledge into action. For example, we can think the Earth is flat but when we hop into a spaceship to check, it’ll be an oblate spheroid. Push come to shove, what we know is only as true as our ability to prove the fact. Put in context with our societal hierarchy, this implies that our knowlege is only as good as how we present our case. Whether we are speaking the truth sadly doesn’t matter as much as it should. Though we can change that through nurture, we can’t change nature. For instance, we can create an environment, in which we foster open-mindedness and curiosity, but we can’t force everyone to be tolerant to each other around the clock every day. When ideas collide in the search for the absolute truth, there is going to be fallout and the ego will be the first casualty. So, the most important rule in our search is to leave our ego behind. In doing so, we don’t argue as much as we try to understand where the other person is coming from.

Who The Fuck is Right?

Your truth, my truth, who the fuck is actually right at the end? Honestly, both but no one. We may understand the manner, in which a person perceives anything, yet we can never be certain that they aren’t lying to themselves. We might believe we know another inside out, just to realise eventually that we never truly knew them at all. Everything is relative, capable of being interpreted in the exact opposite way. It is a simple matter of subjective experience, giving rise to relative truths.
For example, in the case of eyewitness statements, this becomes deadly apparent. Although everyone involved witnessed the same incident, the descriptions wildly differ. While our recollections are only as reliable as our memory, how and what we remember depends greatly on our thought processes. In fact, our thoughts shape our memory not only through neuronal connections, but through the reason why we interpret things the way we do.

To be who we are means constant effort for our body and mind. From birth onward, we develop and maintain an identity, dependent on conditional factors. People, events and the world helps mould what we have already become. So, without the occurrence of certain defining moments, we cease to be the current version of ourselves.
Our mind is endlessly processing what has, is and may happen. Content continuously rises to the surface and falls underneath the line of conscious or voluntary recollection. We never stop forgetting and remembering, unless we still the mind completely. Moreover, it takes persistent practice to be present in the now. We must be consistent in our effort to care more for the truth than our personal interpretation.
For what it’s worth, we rarely notice how our own personal perception of reality creates bias in our judgement of what we believe to be the truth. We forget to consider sides to a subject, for instance, because we associate negatively with them. We overestimate the importance of specific factors due to positive experiences in the past. From a primal standpoint, our physical, emotional and social survival relies on remembering some things but forgetting others. Through the evolution of our consciousness, however, we can choose to do neither. We can position ourselves on the fine line in between. We can be vigilant without judging ourselves or those around us. We can just be in the moment, observing…contemplating the absolute truth from within the confines of relative existence…But it wouldn’t be enough.

To discern something as complex as the absolute truth from a version of the relative is not a simple task. To know the absolute truth about ourselves, we need to remove the influence of all relative aspects that make up our personality. This is also a rather painful key to lasting happiness in yogic non-attachment practices. To discover the absolute truth about the many worlds, we must delve into the origin, nature and purpose of existence prior to the relative. If all is mind, then truth is a multi-faceted, collective construct. It contains ego-destroying layers of personal perspectives from every possible angle inside a vast consciousness, whose probability of ending is zero…So, are you ready?

The Difference Between Pain & Suffering

“Pain is inevitable,
Suffering is optional…”

The word ‘pain’ defines a condition of consciousness, in which we experience hardship. In simple terms, it it the condition of having been injured either physically, mentally or emotionally… However, must pain always invoke suffering?

In simple terms, no. At the deepest depths of pain, suffering can become a reality as a result of emotional as well as psychological attachment. In romantic relationships, this can be to the person, who inflicts violence and abuse on an unassuming victim. Yet, more often than not, it is an attachment to our preconceptions.
We believe pain must inevitably lead to suffering, therefore we simply accept suffering as an unchanging, immutable companion of pain…

Where Does Pain Begin?

In the mind, always. From a biochemical perspective, pain starts a spark in the wiring of the brain [i.e. neurotransmitter signaling]. Yet, on a quantum level, any type of pain is mere information. For example, when we put our hand in a burning fire, we are basically reaching into a cobweb of particles that are moving much faster than our own. What we experience as “Ouch, that’s hot.” is a small collision of particles, communicating the extent of the injury. In terms of thermodynamics, two objects are initiating thermal contact, in which they are exchanging energy, but cant achieve an equilibrium. As particles collide, the cells in our hands are acutely aware of what is happening. This causes a wave of signals to surge through the sympathetic nervous system to initate a pre-conditioned response to the experience. As a darwinian throwback, it takes great willpower to keep our hand in the fire, the more intense the flames.

Psychological pain is akin to its physical counterpart in that it is governed by similar laws

As we burn ourselves, we experience a drain on our energy reserves. This drain persists until the injury has healed fully. The pain is a byproduct of not merely the experience, but its engram…the physical equivalent of its impression on the individual consciousness.

However, in the spiritual sense, pain is a result of conflict. The multiverse functions very similarly to a self-contained holomovement, in which various domains of space-time are [thought to be] casually interlinked. From the moment of the Big Bang, universe after universe emerges…yet they remain an intrinsic part of an interconnected whole. Without them as a form of containment unit for space-time, energy-potential could not become energy and energy could not be condensed into matter.

Therein lies the origin of conflict. In an interconnected whole, we are an indivisible part of the totality of the multiverse. We no longer exist as individuals or a planetary collective, we are at one with the cosmos as well as that which gave rise to it. We may feel we are linked as a people or cosmic whole of consciousness, but we rarely translate this knowledge into an actuality.
For what it is worth, realisation of such multiversal unity is as destructive as it is liberating, hence few choose this path. Even at the highest point of enlightenment in the physical body, pain persists, because we remain in the confines of relative existence [i.e. space-time].

Where does suffering end?

What’s the root cause of mental, emotional or physical suffering? Giving power to that which we have no direct control over is what causes suffering. In other words, we relinquish control, which in turn serves as a source of pain that leads to suffering.

Focus on what you can directly control and accept what you cannot.

There’s a dark gap between what you’re doing and what you’re truly capable of. For instance, when we aim to complete a task, we follow our objectives in order to achieve a level of success. This success is more often than not defined by attaining a specific goal, we have no direct control over. Mentally speaking, when we work toward any goal, our mind is preoccupied by past attempts and preconceptions about the future, so it cannot fully concentrate on the process to improve it while it is still ongoing. Our actions throughout the process are fully under our control, but we are too occupied to focus on the present moment.

If we define success as giving our best in the process, then we cannot fail, feel calmly confident, and can accept any outcome with equanimity.

Suffering is the psychological resistance to what happens. A person can inflict physical pain on us, but suffering only come from resisting what is, from fighting with reality…although it’s futile to fight them, because we can’t change or undo what already is. Nevertheless, we fight with reality all the time in our desire for it to be different. We must have it our way, the way we want it, the way we expected it to be…

Whenever we desire something that isn’t in our power, our sense of inner confidence as well as tranquility is shaken. Often, if we don’t get what we want, we’ll be upset, but if we do, we will experience anxiety, apprehension and insecurity. Therefore, we should always focus on what is now…what we can control our actions but not the outcome. We can give all that is in our power, but we must invariably accept whatever happens.

Focus on what you control, and take the rest as it happens in order to make the most of it.

External factors may have the power to affect how and even whether you live, but they don’t have the power over your spirit in this life and those yet to come. Only you yourself can give them this power over the deepest part of you [by failing to act as well as you’re capable of].
We must make sure that our happiness depends as little as possible on internal or external factors. There should be only a loose connection between what happens to us and how happy we feel. We may focus on what we control, trying to make the best of any given situation and only wanting what is within our power…However, that still invites suffering. It is never possible to make happiness consistent with longing. True happiness implies the possession of all which is desired, yet we can never obtain all we desire.
So, what we aim for is a transient state of conditional happiness. We bind our happiness to some past, present or future event. Time after time, we promise ourselves, we will be happy after we have achieved our next goal, but we never are.

We never experience happiness, because we are never satisfied. It’s like trying to wall off the edge of the Earth, we can walk for miles and miles but won’t get any closer. Either we keep on yearning for stuff we don’t have, or we actually have a chance for happiness. We can’t have both. True happiness is when you have all you desire at the point when you desire nothing from the world or it’s people.

If we wish to be unconditionally happy, we must seek happiness within ourselves.

We’ve been equipped with the necessary tools to create a satisfactory life, regardless the hardships we face in life. So, if we want to be content, we must change ourselves and our desires. We cannot change the things that happen in the world around us, we can only change the way we look at those things and what we choose to make out of them

How Far Would You Go Not To Break?

Who are you undereath? What makes you tick? More importantly, what would it take for you to break?

We each have our particular weaknesses to be exploited by those for whom it is a strength. In other words, life is getting pissed on from a great height repeatedly, trying not to get wet.
As though, it actually mattered how much we suffer in the open or behind closed doors, we pretend to care for others. Yet, the majorty of us have more significant tasks to devote their attention to. For instance, satisfaction at any cost.
People will say or do whatever is necessary to get what they want. To them, there is little difference between doing the right thing and ensuring their self-interests are met above everyone elses. Truth be told, I sometimes wonder, if there still is anyone who doesn’t, except for me? The world turns, people are not committing suicide en masse, so there must be plenty, right? Wrong! They are too rare…

Compassion is few and far between in this world, but we should never deny its healing potential. Its effects on the mind have the power to attribute less meaning to memories with a high impact on our presence of mind. In a way, compassion serves as a form of collective self-protection. Conversely, when we are denied it for a prolonged period of time, the want for protection is often overridden by the desire for self-destruction.

“Safety is an illusion”

On the surface, we are conditioned never to look too deep. It is the safest way to avoid painful realisations or the horrible truths about the world or ourselves. As a survival and coping mechanism, this serves to prolong life while making it more difficult for us to break our preconceptions. The deeper, we stare into ourselves, the more the question becomes “how long can we stand the pain?” In general, it depends on how resilient and resistant, we are…but our time is limited. Nobody can cope forever. Eventually, we are forced to ask ourselves, if we can continue until irreperably breaking (i.e. breaking while others watch and do nothing) or if we wish to take back control.
At the very precipes of self-destruction, we have already been destroyed in that we have already made the decision to go forward. However, such a choice is only as inevitable as our committment to do what needs to be done for the right reasons. If we believe, we are worthy of mercy, we must be the first to be benevolent to ourselves. If we are convinced, we are deserving of another chance, we must be the first to give it…Lastly, if we are down and out, then we should not hesistate to put ourselves out of our mysery by any non-violent means available to us.

When picking up the broken pieces of ourselves on the floor, we should truly contemplate how many other times, the exact same thing has happened in order to draw a conclusion. If it has happened too often, the underlying cause should be removed from the equation to guarantee success. However, if the underlying problem is a person, we cant detach from, then the process of resolution becomes a tad more ethically tainted…if we wish to persist regardless of the consequences.

In my case, when the disasterous factor is always you, then it is best to cut as many ties as possible. After all, alone is what people like us do best, simply because we have to…simply because it will never change. Some of us make it through to the bitter end, while others take the preferable options of cutting their suffering short. In all fairness, they might definitely be the lucky ones. Hell, even in the worlds worst dump with the most severe case of spiritual amensia, they are more fortunate than the rest. They need no longer be trapped in world, in which their heart is treated as though it does not exist at all. In any eventuality, who would even notice ther absence? Others impose their perception upon them and they are supposed to agree without question or hesitation. They will simply find someone else to fulfill the same role time after time, no matter the damage, they inflict. Worst thing is, more often than not, the next person will actually play along. They do this for a very simple reason: They know no different.

In our world,
The more you care,
The more vulternable you become.

On a personal note, the concept behind relationships has never been difficult for me to grasp. It is a simple matter of loyalty, respect and empathy in order to build a lasting raport. Yet, in practice, the truly real people, we meet in life are very few. They are the ones, we can turn to, when we are in depserate need of a shoulder to cry on and they’ll always be there. They are the ones, who will believe in us, when no one else can. They are the ones, who’ll take us in, when we have nowhere to go.
As may be easily ascertained, such generosity no longer exists for a small percentage of the mainstream population. After a while, it becomes simpler to just detach from the idea instead to be continuously taunted by it.
People like me are those, who sit on an empty bench by themselves and observe people passing by. We watch their interactions and keep wondering, “Is that even a possibility for me?”. Although we have learnt through many years of experience that it isnt, the thought keeps popping up. Hope refuses to perish. The notion, we may belong, cannot be banished from the mind indefinitely. As a deeply embedded part of our survival instinct, it requires extreme measures to be rid of such a notion permanently. By the time, we reach mid-adulthood, unfulilled desires such as that tend to surface far more intensely. They may create a level of inner upheaval but will disappear soon enough, before reappearing during the mid-life crisis.
In any scenario, belonging is a state of mind. To feel as though we belong can either be delusional or factual, but the feeling itself cannot be forced. For instance, if someone doesn’t feel that they belong, they cannot be made to feel more comfortable by other people overcompensating for past behaviour. It simply creates paranoia and angst.

In truth, as a species, we are beginning to lack the very qualities that define lasting relationships of any kind, from friendship to marriage. The loyal are used for their dedication. Respect is perceived as a weakness. Empathy requires more than a few seconds of thinking about another person without thinking “Me First”.

To remove yourself from the equation of life is just this easy. It is an untangling of our attachments and aversions. It is a process through which we let go completely. We do not cease to feel the relevant emotions associated with strong affinity or dislike toward something/someone, we merely cease to react to them externally as well as internally. In essence, the key is to display compassion, but never get psychologically involved or emotionally entangled.
It can be achieved without much effort, if one has very little ties to the social foundations of our modern civilisation. Off-Grid living would be ideal, of course, but few manage work and attain such a goal without solemn determination to succeed at every cost.

Where Do You Feel Safe?

When your heart weighs heavily on your spirit, what do you do? For the most part, we are driven reach out. To express our problems in order to seek a solution…but what if we cant?

What when safety reveals itself to be the illusion, which it always has been, how are we supposed feel? At first, we may deny the truth to react with anger. Upon acceptance, it is normal to spiral out of control a little bit, but eventually we begin to realise, there is a freedom in uncertainty.

Anxiety has become a major topic in our modern world. We may even be so anxious, we feel depressed when we are not, simply waiting for the next wave of extreme emotion to paralyse us. At present, anxiety disorders are recognised, but it wasn’t always this way. My generation was conditioned to dismiss fear and confront it head on. We were pushed, bullied and beaten out of allowing fear to hold us back. For some it worked, for others not so much…

Regardless in what way others encourage us to shed our fears, we can only let go of them ourselves. The same applies to our insecurities.

As imperfect as life may be, it is all we have. Again and again…so we cling to that which makes us feel secure, as temporary it might be. Until one big event shatters those illusions, too many remain trapped in unhappy circumstances. They can’t find a way out of them, since they feel escape will make them more vulnerable…which it often does when no support network exists. Though “just” a small number of these cases resort to desperate options, the number is rising every day.

For what it is worth, nobody should settle for a life of unhappiness, no matter how scary it can seem to leave the present situation.

You are worth more than that!

Safety is perhaps the second most persistent illusion, apart from space-time. It lulls us into a sense of trust in the process of life, which is currently being manipulated by approx. 1% of the global population for their own gain…to establish their own safe space.

People like me, and perhaps even like you, don’t have safe spaces. Trust doesn’t work out, but we don’t stop taking a chance. It is a cycle of pain that grinds us down until we find a reason to try again. However, giving up eventually because we perpetuate this cycle by trusting the same personality types is far more likely. Miracles do happen though.

I am perhaps not the most qualified to ask you to trust in people or believe that things can change. They never have for me, and they probably never will…but I refuse to quit. The fight against our worst insticts is never done. We simply need to continue to the end of this life, and similar problems will emerge in the next…in perhaps a brave new world, we never thought was possible. That, in fact, would not be possible without our perseverance.

Where we feel secure has much to do with when. A feeling of safety can be associated with when we visit a particular place, person or do a specific thing…But those things change. Places are turned to dust. People either leave or die. The joy once gotten from doing a certain thing can vanish, if we get depressed enough. So, what should we do, when nothing works anymore?

In essence, we must never give up on ourselves. Life is a conundrum of esoterica. It is so much more mysterious than we could ever imagine. It is filled with so much more unexpected kindness or compassion than we assume so readily. However, we can never discover any of this, if we don’t take the bad with the good.

There are moments, when it seems impossible to go on, but we must. When we need to wipe away our tears and pretend to be just fine…regardless of what happened. Yet, we can only find the strength to do this so many times without confronting the undelying issue. Eventually, if we don’t, we will self-destruct or do something we might sincerely regret. Although there can be no such thing as a safe space in the outside world, we can attain a state of being, in which we feel safe within ourselves… This is far from easy. It wont work in every possible circumstance, bu it is only method that can soften even the hardest blows.

Externalising Fear: As grown-ups, we might still use defense mechanisms we developed as children. Instead of making us feel safe as adults, our behavior causes us to feel unsafe. Instead of facing the situation head on, which we can’t do because we have no idea how to take responsibility for our own safety, we focus our fears on something else. For example, the abused child worries about pleasing their parents or the beaten wife worries about the academic performance of her kids. In shifting our attention elsewhwere, we distract ourselves from what we are going through. More importantly, what we are unconsciously doing to ourselves. After all, we cannot stay true to ourselves, if we abandon our own well-being for the sake of someone elses.

Suppressing Fear: For men, it is fairly common to learn at an early age to bury their emotions. Few cultures encourage young boys to process what they feel…Instead, they learn by the example that getting angry because they deny their emotions is a socially approved way to deal with their mental state.

How to cope:

Chögyam Trungpa once said

“…rather than being disheartened by the ambiguity, the uncertainty of life, what if we accepted it and relaxed into it? What if we said, ‘Yes, this is the way it is. This is what it means to be human, and decided to sit down and enjoy the ride?”

We feel unsafe, because we are designed to expect safety. Our insecurities just reinforce this feeling… From childhood onwards, we begin to feel unsafe within ourselves, so we developed coping mechanisms to deal with the world and our perceived self. We may act out of fear and anger instead of courage and love. We might even find reasons to be hurt by others no matter how nice they are…

Whatever we do, we must learn to be present in the moment and let go of the past in order to embrace the unknown. As hard as it may sound, all of our experiences have made us who we are. The good and the bad. Without them, we could not be who we are now…so we must find ways to be grateful for them. Even if it simply means to acknowledge the strength we have found to overcome the insurmountable.

Accept yourself for the wondrous, amazing self that you have become, because…you are astonishing just the way you are.

Implications of an Empirically-Testable Model of Consciousness Transmigration

(Abridged Version)

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The Bitter Truth of Leadership

At this time, we can switch on the television and witness thousands of lefties standing up for the rights of those that would exterminate them on the spot, given half a chance… They have chosen a higher path, yet most of them are unaware that this decision will seal their fate. They’d rather debase an honest discussion about their political views into name-calling instead of facing the fact that everything has pros and cons. We have opened the door to economic migrants that are simply out for what they can get with small numbers of actual refugees hiding amongst them (that are probably asking themselves whether the West has gone insane). The majority of economic migrants have no care or concern for the freedom of their host countries. This leads us to the question, why do we risk our basic human rights to protect them? Why are so many standard citizens infatuated with the idea of defending them? If the tables were turned, only for an instant, they would not reach out to save us. Truth be told, the only curtsey they would extend us is a swift execution.

To stand up for what is right has its risks, often it will be the last thing any of us will ever do in this life, but there are greater powers at play than the elite could ever fathom. Regardless how many more us will be buried, no one can successfully seize the freedom of another. The true essence of freedom is in every breath we take, it cannot cease even after we’ve drawn our last… It is infinite and absolute in all its manifestations. Nothing in all of existence can change that.

However, the illusion of control is a dangerous weapon to wield that can make anyone believe anything, given the right situation and application of pressure in all the right places. Our free will is bound by cause and effect, which means it is not free at all, until we make it so…until we realise that our will isn’t bound by circumstance, but by the motivations that drive our acroons, we shall never find freedom or peace. It is our choice to participate in this ongoing political charade or tear it all down.

We admire strength, boldness and power, so we seek those who possess it. We lavish wisdom, forethought and emotional freedom, so we strive to be near those who impart those qualities. However, to what end? Whoever becomes the centre of our focus invariably rubs off on us, but where that’ll lead is anyone’s guess. Too many falsely believe that sociopathy and psychopathy are inherited conditions… Contrary to popular belief, they are genetic as much as they are environmental. We model ourselves according to those around us by mimicking their behaviour. Nonetheless, whether we do so unconsciously or are consciously aware of this is another matter entirely.

Every leader attracts a different type of follower from the left or the right, from the lowest or the highest class… Every leader unwittingly attracts certain stereotypes that fuel their underlying agenda. For Merkel, these are the stereotypically short-sighted as well as those lacking peripheral vision in general. Very few decent, hard-working foreigners that emigrated to Germany, Austria, Switzerland and other EU member states are in support of her policies. The moment she opened her bosom to every young male from here to the Middle-East, one could see their eyes widen as they began to panic. Many escaped the situation in midst of the white flight shortly after. Not out of fear, but common sense. They, along with countless  natives, could sense that their time was running out fast. It is reminiscent of the complications that arise when a parent introduces a new sibling to the family… Those old enough to sustain themselves realise it is time to stand on their own two feet, whereas minors become acutely aware of how the power is shifting against their favour. Like Attracts Like. In the case of Merkel, the fiercer her followers become, the more unwilling they are to answer questions they don’t approve of. As she blatantly blanks the direct enquiries of her constituents with unrelated topics that make no logical sense, her supporters follow suit. It appears that the left across the entire world tore a page out of the Psychopaths Bible and did the exact opposite of what the instructions said… They do not offers answers, solutions or even consider the option of pretending to execute the will of the people. To the New Left, the people are a means to an end. They are irrelevant to the equation. They confidently act as if their rise to power is not in the hands of the people, but a small minority, controlling the majority from behind the scenes. This makes them feel as if it entitles them with the unquestionable right to belittle and devalue that which does not boost their appearance. When their stance is sensibly questioned without allowing them to evade those enquiries, they resort to offensive quips. They push them aside in a derogatory manner, while labelling those that asked them as racist. The mere fact we dare to question them is perceived as an insult, if not a direct threat. However, they don’t deal with threats like any sane individual, by taking them seriously… They ignore them, when they don’t dismiss them with the harshest words that spring to their minds at the time. Such behaviour has led many of their followers to believe, this is an acceptable way to behave. For Corbyn, this opened doors to reinforce an abhorrent, new standard in British politics. He was the first with the courage to openly ask what his party’s hearts desire. For approx. 15 minutes, he took the time to listen to what they want as well as expect from him. After he realised their views opposed his, he became the first leader to flee from the majority of his own party, and yet retain his position of leadership. The majority of Labour supporters are against immigration, not for the reason that they dislike other cultures, but because they are the cogwheels that keep this broken society running. The average, working-class person is the reason our society still functions. Granted, it barely works at the best of times, but it has not faced its inevitable collapse yet. When Labour abandoned the working class, which was no surprise, those cogwheels began to jar… Too many kept voting for them out of habit, blind faith and misplaced sympathy, not anymore. People do not like to be taken for granted, when it is them that has enabled Corbyns unfortunate rise to power. Unsurprisingly, Labours supporters are no longer white or British… They are not African-American, Asian or Indian any longer. They are no longer the party of the working-class, unless long-lasting unemployment and the unwillingness to seek paid work is categorised as the New Working Class. Moreover, their religious orientation, which was once a shining beacon of equality & diversity, has now become a party renowned for the coerced conformity of their supporters by the bleeding hearts of Britain. They may as well force their followers to convert openly instead of almost making them so do behind closed doors to prove their loyalties. In one way or another, they want to make you feel guilty/ashamed as to encourage self-loathing. Labour began to target the vulnerable and malleable members of society, whose minds are easily swayed by fear tactics. Not any kind of fear toward real-life threats, but the fear of being viewed as narrow-minded, bigoted or racist. This is basic psychological manipulation. What Corbyns upper-working/lower-middle class, left-wing supporters fail to understand is, when you have nothing for long enough, you lose all interest to maintain appearances. We don’t care how it looks. We care about what it is as well as what it will lead to. In life, nothing is ever as it seems…and we’ll do our best to never let anyone forget it. The actions of Corbyn have led a significant percentage of his followers to believe that his words serve a higher purpose than the complete religious and social indoctrination of the British people. He is the tool of the puppets that are strung along by the elite. He has lowered himself to such extreme degrees that they do not wish to be openly associated with him or scratch his back outside of dire necessity. In their minds, he lacks the intelligence and back-bone to be useful for any prolonged period of time. His control over the people is at best short-lived. As he envisions becoming Prime Minister of a non-country with the reigns firmly in his grasp, those behind the scenes laugh at his ignorance. (As much as he may be terribly oblivious of what normal people go through, no one deserves to be used only to be tossed aside like a children’s plaything.)

In addition, Corbyn deliberately disregards the historical fact that multiculturalism only works when both parties are willing to find a compromise they can live with. When multiculturalism becomes a matter of sacrificing your way of life to accommodate mass migration, it paves the way to genocide. Corbyns traitorous actions are causing direct physical, mental and emotional harm not only to the British people, but all people of all ethnicities. They are forcing decent people to hide or flee the United Kingdom, while they put genuine refugees at risk. Therefore, it should come as no surprise that his left-wing followers act in accordance with his radical views, enforcing them at every opportunity. This can solely lead to civil war, which will most likely take the form of an uprising of the right against the left, when there are obviously more pressing matters at hand. While we will waste more time quarrelling over schematics, our mutual enemies channel their energies more productively. They are breeding for war under the guise of Sharia Law. They do not require the consent of their women, when it is the sole purpose of their existence to serve them, otherwise they will attempt to terminate their existence and secure new breeding stock.

Heightism, Detachment & Sociopathy – The Rules Revisited

Darwin once stated, it is not the strongest that are most likely to survive, but those most adaptable to change. Height elicits expectation, yet it does not determine personality or social standing. Despite what many men and women believe, being restricted by one’s height or weight presents a valuable challenge that would not exist, if modern society was more accepting of its innate diversity. From a historical perspective, this is far from new behaviour. However, there are countless erroneous presumptions associated with height that limit our understanding of how heightism originally came to be.

One of the earliest, common references is that of the “Napoleon Complex”, which denotes an inferiority complex or deep-rooted hang-up with one’s own height. However, the original purpose of this term is rarely analysed, nor it is considered that history is typically written by the victor. Smear campaigns were nothing new. Since we have learnt to paint on cave-walls, we have used visual and/or linguistic mediums to convey useful and impractically vain information. To twist and turn information, regardless of its accuracy stretches back to the beginning of ancient warfare. This leads us to a simple fact: Napoleon Bon Apart (5.6ft / 1.68m) was taller than Horatio Nelson (5.4ft / 1.64m). One would think that such a basic fact could easily be discerned by the masses, however, Nelson was accustomed to taking measures against “looking short”. That being said, when the height difference is below 2 inches or five centimetres, it is fairly easy to play with appearances, but whereas many people nowadays can purchase flats from nearby stores, Nelson had to devise his own methods of altering his appearance.
Nelson understood that height is as physical as it is psychological. Anyone can seem tall, while they truly aren’t. If you are bold enough, you can make anyone believe anything, but let’s not throw all caution to the wind just yet. There are physiological limits without bone-shattering application traditional Chinese surgery. Limitations that cannot be applied to the art of propaganda. He may not have been taller than his opponent, although you wouldn’t know with how much effort he invested in being referred to as the taller out of the two.
To show the extent of how successful his propaganda campaigns actually were…in honour of Nelson’s victory, the column built in Trafalgar Square was designed to be the tallest landmark in all of London. Some historians suggest that it was Nelson’s explicit wish for the highest monument to be dedicated to him, so he could oversee the entirety of the metropolis of London at the time.

As we are judged by our appearance, prior to our actions…Before we even open up our mouth, it is only logical to give yourself the best chances. In the old days, it was easier to make yourself appear taller, smarter and more capable. Nowadays, it has become much harder for anyone to pretend to be something they are not, but it is never impossible. Not for anyone…However, it appears to be easier for taller men to deceive women than their shorter counterpart. Again, not impossible. The truth is that under the right circumstances, people will turn a blind eye to almost anything, if they are otherwise occupied…They will disregard height differences, personal disagreements and even the most heart-wrenching betrayals, when the appeal to their self-interest is sufficient. Although the interests of one or more people may be temporarily aligned, that does not guarantee any form of loyalty or respect once they are not. In fact, short men and women live longer, when they’re weary of the company they keep. It is one thing to be useful, but to be repeatedly used as a stepping stone is a fate no one should settle for, regardless of their stature.

Height & Intelligence

History is full of examples, where height serves as an indicator of high intelligence or brute force. Whereas some geniuses are born, most forms of intelligence are cultivated and developed over time. In other words, every human being has the potential to enhance their natural abilities or fight against them. Whereas many living beings are driven by instinct, we have the free will to choose. In this, we are given a distinct advantage. Through conscious choice, one can overcome the height-based bias that runs riot in the world. However, we can only free ourselves, we cannot force others into the position to acknowledge the existence or negative impact of heightism.
Being short is not a handy-cap. It does not determine EQ, IQ or intelligence of thought. Here, one has to to bear in mind that the most intelligent of people were never revered throughout history, they were shunned, exiled and often murdered in the most heinous manner. However, where the general cultivation of intelligence is concerned, Jung’s theory on personality development indicates that if you are not athletically- or strength-orientated as a short person, your talent most likely lies elsewhere. Further research into the hidden talents of the “vertically challenged” shows that many excel at communication. Whereas some had to become quick witted by being subjected to abuse, others were born with the gift of the gab. It gives them an irresistible charm that makes them much more successful in the dating game. For those that are still mastering that knack for words, the trick is to say less than necessary.

Needless to mention, there are many different types of intelligence. Although we continue to quantify new forms, quantum physics suggests the avenues of intelligence are infinite. If we can conceive being a genius in a subject in our minds, it is fairly possible to cultivate the knowledge necessary to succeed. That being said, if you weren’t born swimming against the tide, I wouldn’t recommend to start now. Nurture your natural abilities, but keep an open mind. After all, you wouldn’t expect Bach, Tesla or Einstein to abandon their respective fields, for what was expected of them. Truth is not a phenomena of mass-appeal, neither is free will. The most intelligent, remarkable and revered characters throughout history were not recognised for their achievement. They did not need to be. They did what felt right for them, regardless of what society thought of them. That being said, appearance and social standing can easily override intelligence, but it depends very much on the circumstances. In such an occasion, the personality of a person often defines their instinctual reaction. (It should be noted that psychopaths are predominantly prone to react in specific ways, whereas sociopaths often lack a reaction, unless attempting to elicit a specific response.)
As stated before, there is such a thing as too intelligent. However, there are two distinct types of “high intelligence.” As paradoxical as it may seem, the first type of supremely intelligent people, capable of outsmarting the world’s finest, frequently feign ignorance to fit in. Conversely, the second type often lack the social intelligence to not outshine their master (at every turn), unless the right circumstances are in their favour.
For many, high intelligence is frightening. Combined with the lack of height, it is like drawing a bullseye on one’s back. Even if you give someone the right answer or advice, if it’s not you they wanna hear it from, then the entire endeavour is flawed from the outset. At times, we fail to realise just how intelligent those around us are, if our ego prevents us from seeing them for what they are truly capable of.
Tall or not, nothing is as it seems. We can never know anyone by their appearance or glimpses of their personality. Even the type or level intelligence only serves us to a limits degree. Truth is only time reveals the reality of a person and/or situation. Hitler considered to the Jews to be of lower intelligence. Before then, men thought of women as less intelligent. And the time before that, it was African Americans. For someone to be superior, some has to be viewed as inferior. The more superior someone is, the more inferior another becomes. In a way, it is the cycle and sway of power. Without a smidgen of humility or compassion toward their opponent, people rise to inconceivable heights. However, they must invariably fall from their high horse in this life or the next. Regardless of how sly or intelligent, no one can escape the moral consequences of their behaviour toward themselves or others. So, think twice before acting out revenge or ill-will…Think twice before judging yourself based on appearance or intelligence. Beauty and intelligence are both in the eye of the beholder. They are malleable, superficial properties that are easily altered, as is what we gain from them. However, the challenge in problem-solving is to realise that we cannot change certain aspects of ourselves, we can only overcome them by denying them the power to act upon us. If we doomed to be short, the most intelligent coping strategy is to make the best of it. Ironically, this is also one of the most effective ways to annoy and irritate those that gain a level of satisfaction from demeaning others. The lack of a reaction/response or even a simple agreement can startle the most determined bully long enough to diffuse tension, but it can also have the exact opposite effect.

Height & Mental Illness

Many short men are either depict as the arrogant smartass, the sly mediator and the cold-blooded sociopath or psychopath. However, how closely related are height and mental well-being? Although it shouldn’t have such detrimental effects, any form of discrimination takes its toll. As height and well-being are indirectly connected through the self-image that is established through childhood and adulthood. Height can never be a definite indicator of sanity and it is ludicrous that some humour this notion. From a professional standpoint, height affects many facets of life, from dating to work opportunities to socialising, which in turn affects mental and emotional health.
Truth be told, just by being short or fat, the chance of getting employed or earning more is significantly lower. After all, it could be argued that any profession that is restricted by height requirements only perpetuates a narrow-minded, inaccurate view of how height determines available career-choices and progression. However, no argument or clever statement can change the reality of the situation.
Although height discrimination has reached the realms of undeniability, that does not stop people from trying. Hell, I would depressed if interview after interview employers would take one look at me and my CV, make some excuse and hired someone half my age with less qualifications but taller. Equal employment opportunities means that it shouldn’t matter if I’m a 4ft grey alien from Alpha Centauri, every living being should have the same opportunity to prove their skills and put food on the table. To be expected to be mentally stable in such conditions is like fighting an endless tide of unrealistic expectations. It should be noted that those who demand often are not expected to deliver, if put in the same position. On a separate note, I’ve noticed short men that have risen above the negative restrictions and implications of heightism rarely associate with other short men, unless carefully selected. They wish to distance themselves as far as they can from being a target, or being associated with anything that threatens the position they have fought to gain. Those that have made it are not all cut-throat, but the majority have had to learn to function in a world of predators. As a consequence, the prey grows far beyond its former predator(s). Whereas some develop anti-social qualities to survive among psychopaths, others choose to steer their moral compass in the opposite direction. They cultivate an air of non-attachment that almost gives them a monk-like presence. They are at peace with who they are. They do not feel the urge to seek justice or vengeance…They only act when acted upon. And I have the deepest empathy for those that have fallen victim to such a powerful force. Few that I know of make it out alive with their ego intact. Some are so emasculated that it stays with them for the rest of their lives (which is most likely equivalent to what they have done to others for being short, fat or otherwise impaired in their opinion).

The Short Sociopath VS The Tall Psychopath

So far in my career, I’ve encountered short and tall sociopaths. However, I’ve always found that my colleagues would find it easier to cope with the 6ft6in than the 5ft4in service user. While episodes of violence were more common for the taller clientele, short men were far more contained but infinitely more vicious when violent. Despite the inherent danger, I’ve always been more comfortable around short sociopaths in comparison to tall psychopaths or sociopaths. Although not all short sociopaths I’ve met socially or professionally have been high functioning, the majority were highly intelligent in their own way. One that society may not be ready to acknowledge just yet, since it has no need to. As stated before, once there is a need, most will say or do anything to fill it…But what happens afterwards entirely depends on the person and circumstance.

The term psychopath and sociopath are often used to describe the worst fears anyone can have about someone we are associated with. Their true nature is thought to be egocentric, merciless and incapable of remorse. The stuff of your worst nightmares… But contrary to popular belief, you don’t need to look far to find a full-blooded psychopath or sociopath. Just switch on your TV. Whereas psychopaths thrive on attention, sociopaths often keep to the shadows. Nonetheless, both can also create shadows from which to operate. Most of us won’t have to look beyond our community to find a borderline psychopath or sociopath. The difference is tall people remain undetected far more often, unless their actions have been witnessed on a large scale. One that is not or cannot be denied.

To explain, the difference between psychopathy and sociopathy on a fundamental level is on a genetic level. Whereas both can have their hereditary roots, emotional processing is affected differently. Psychopaths, although they may not be able to feel, are often driven by an emotional need. Sociopaths are not. However, both disassociate from their emotions to variant degrees. Both are capable of vicious fits of rage, although they are often underplayed when the individual is short.
The most important difference I’ve found in dating a psychopath and a higher functioning sociopath is the need to prey on emotions. Psychopaths appear to have an inherent need to manipulate and deceive that makes them overconfident. The paranoid tendencies of a short sociopath is the textbook example that counters such the deep-rooted emotional need of the stereotypically tall and good looking psychopath.
Height does not differentiate. Since height discrimination has become an everyday occurrence, whether you’re a psychopath, sociopath or just anti-social makes no difference. If you’re short as a male, you’re doomed to be an outsider, but that doesn’t have to be a bad thing. From personal experience, short-statured people like myself either make an invested effort to follow trends or they create their own. As a psychologist, it is my firm opinion that trend-setters are always outsiders. Whether short or tall, they have the confidence to walk their own path.
However, for sociopaths, the end justifies the means. If that means their imprisonment, torture or death, then so be it. Psychopaths, due to their inherent emotional needs, have an in-build weakness, whereas once the mask of a sociopath drops…There is nothing. A vast, infinite void of emotion that drives shivers down your spine. Beyond false anger, there is dead calm silence.
In simple terms, the circuits in the cortex do not connect and/or process emotions properly…like two wires that don’t fully connect. Since they don’t, there is an accumulation of energy, leading to large bursts of emotion, when the buildup is so substantial that the connection is forced.

It is difficult for anyone to let someone close to us see us in our worst light. For sociopaths and psychopaths, the light is merely more revealing than most people can handle. Not all of us were born or conditioned to be a certain way, but none of us deserve the rejected for that fact.
Predators have their uses in any society. Historically, their talents were put to good use in the military. The more psychotic, psychopathic or sociopathic the opponent, the more insane was the person that actually defeated them. In wartimes, you wouldn’t care about the short guy wielding a battle ax like a mad man, unless he is coming toward you. The military has always been in high demand of controllable soldiers that will follow any command to the death, not uncontrollable cannon balls that wreck their projections. Psychopaths gain their power from knowing their place and when to rise above it…Sociopaths will do so regardless, if they wish to.

Being short makes that endeavour slightly more complex, as there is more to conceal and distract from. Playing with appearances is more complicated, as making oneself taller isn’t an option. Surrounding oneself by tall, but genuine, supporters is a frequently used technique. However, the tall selfless wingman that’ll deliver women on a plate is a sheer fantasy, unless they are blackmailed into doing so or persuaded by someone with a higher level power compared to them. I’ve found that when it comes to territory, many men do not remove women from the equation. That being said, women are no longer subject to arranged marriages or career-restraints, but we are just as vulnerable to social engineering. Particularly, in the case of male heightism.
When we become chronically dissatisfied with ourselves, it becomes hard to hide. People sense, feel and see that one person, which drags the group down. On the other hand, every group also has its leader: the alpha male or female. Whereas tall psychopaths or sociopaths often have the opportunity to cosy up to them by replacing the beta…Their short counterpart often has to strike with fierce momentum to displace or even scatter the group (with less beneficial results). In conclusion, height doesn’t affect the severity of a condition, but at times it forces men in the position to overcompensate merely to be noticed. Unfortunately, by the time they are noticed, their reactions have often been torn so far out of proportion that they distract from the issue at hand.

Detachment Versus Sociopathy

Introduction

Within philosophy, the term detachment represents a state in which an individual overcomes their attachment toward desire for all objects, individuals or concepts of the phenomenal world, henceforth attaining a heightened perspective. Within Bahá’í Faith, Buddhism, Hinduism, Jainism and Taoism, non-attachment, which stands for the release from desire as well as suffering, is a significant principle and ideal. Detachment is also a central concept in Zen Buddhism. One of the most important technical Chinese terms for detachment is “wú niàn” (無念), which literally means “no thought.” This does not signify the literal absence of thought, but rather the state of being “unstained” (bù rán 不染) by thought. Therefore, non-attachments represents being detached from one’s thoughts. It is the separation of the individual from their own thoughts and opinions in detail as to not be harmed mentally and emotionally by them. The mentality is generally also applied towards others. In addition, within Hinduism the view of detachment comes from the understanding of the nature of existence and the true ultimate state sought by the practitioner. In other terms, while one is responsible and mindful without concerns of the past as well as future. The detachment is focused towards the result of one’s actions rather than towards all aspects of life. This concept is cited extensively within Puranic and Vedic literature.

Zen and Sociopathy

There are a variety of parallels between sociopathy and Zen Buddhism, such as emotional detachment, non-attachment to the self and mindfulness. In addition, Buddhists, similar to sociopaths, can appear as unemotional or emotionally cold. Conversely, Buddhism appreciates emotions as well as deeds that are spontaneous and based upon intuition, merely not those arising from logic or the rational mind, as it may. Yet, a sociopath is genetically  provided with the free will of choice, as it may, to develop the will to form attachments or to detach from their surroundings. The archetype of the monk and the sociopath, in fact, are reflections of one another. Whereas the Monk strives to detach himself, the sociopath often attempts to involve himself. Although there is a fine line between morally righteous actions, conducted for the progression of mankind, and morally corrupt actions that serve merely the perpetrator. According to Carl Jung, this line also exists on the fourth stage of individuation. Nonetheless, would it even be probable to suggest that the sociopathic mind is closer to enlightenment? Or perhaps on the other side of it? The monk and the sociopath view the nature of reality from almost exactly opposite perspectives, operating at entirely different parallels. For instance, a sociopath can be threatened and perplexed by emotion due to the unpredictability that it brings. Emotion has the capacity to throw actions out of balance, as it may, disrupting the behaviour of the individual. The monk, however, aims to distance themselves from emotion whilst remaining compassionate towards the emotions of others. To a sociopath that is easily agitated, an emotional outburst could trigger the desire to interfere with the behaviour of the individual, resulting a variety of probable outcomes, ranging from loss of consciousness due to blunt force head trauma to death caused by the rapid snapping of the neck. The monk, on the other hand, would view it as being provided with an opportunity of growth through the challenge of calming the unsettled individual with emotional support and meditative practises.

Mindfulness

To centre oneself entirely in the present moment requires the gradual release of the attachment to all forms of thought, most significantly the self. It also necessitates the letting go of ones attachment to emotions, which are also a kind of thought. In essence, the individual ceases to think and feel. “As long as one is caught up thinking or feeling, one is occupied reflecting or anticipating.” Within Buddhism, to live in such states of illusion perpetuated by thought is represented by The First Truth, which states that life is suffering. To therefore release the attachments to their own thoughts allows the individual to raise their level of awareness, which with freedom from illusion and suffering is attained. This increase in awareness is accompanied by compassion, arising from the direct experience of the individuals connection to all within existence through the regular practice of meditation. According to Buddhism, all beings possess the Buddha nature within themselves, even if it does not surface throughout an entire lifetime. This illustrates that at the core…we are all the same. Perceiving the subject in this manner, the difference between the sociopath and the monk is an illusion in itself.

The Mask of the Self

What are we without words? What are we without form? If one were to simply look at any individual as a whole, disregarding any thoughts of attraction or judgement. Merely perceiving them as they are. Usually until that individual speaks, they possess no language or nationality, yet we have already categorised them according to social class, status and appearance. These are also labelled as attachments…Attachments to that which is perceived as inappropriate and to that which is considered to be socially acceptable. Once one can get passed all superficial matters and observe another being,  perceiving them as possessing a unique personality and mind of their own…A intricate purpose and path of their own, which is connected to you through the very nature of reality itself. By mere existence upon the same planet, the same country or the same city, one human being affects another, often without conscious realisation. Succeeding all the challenges and struggles of life, we will all inevitable have to discover a manner, in which to live with ourselves and our surroundings. Humanity no longer values nature in the ways they used to. In fact, within the United States it has become against federal law to grow any kind of food in the garden of the average American citizen. Needless to mention, numerous elderly ladies were arrested and received ample amounts of fines and prison time to ponder upon their wrongdoings. Yet, have any human rights actually been violated? It would perhaps dent the wallets of the local supermarket. The true goal has a much more profound affect, the illegality of self-sufficiency. Within modern society, the archetype of the true monk has nearly faced extinction. Except for a few remote corners of the world, there are not as many die-hard monks as there used to be. Monks that would rise at 4am each morning to perform aerobic exercises and then spend countless hours in meditation every day. The ideal monk is in a meditative state throughout waking and sleeping consciousness, continuously focused upon the present. Such an individual cannot exist within modern Western society. They would represent all that which the capitalist and the socialist wish to abolish by pure nature of being. It is the monks way to simply be.
Not try, not do… To just be.
Everyone has at one point made a mistake that was irreparable. Some more than others. Learning by failure is a process that we all experience within life. Yet, once one puts aside superficial differences or quarrels with ourselves and others, one arrives at the inference that the suffering of life, its encompassing attachments and illusions, is a universal condition.

Conclusion

Within most organised religions, the vow of poverty stands for the physical side of detachment, whereas Eastern religions focus their energies upon purifying as well as cleansing the body, mind and spirit. They are intrinsically aware that each individual possesses their own path towards enlightenment that will differ from the path of another. Nonetheless, there are common denominators, which create the suffering that is experienced within life. The goal in itself becomes to transcend the pain experienced and distance oneself from it. Within a wide range of belief structures, the practitioner begins to accept full responsibility for their thoughts, their emotions and their actions. Partial responsibility is also accepted for each trauma experienced. The notion becomes to separate oneself from situations, which cause internal grief or unfavourable circumstances. To not involve oneself in the drama of life, therefore allows one to become detached from it. One does no longer requires or even desires the drama that life brings, thus one simply removes the causal factors that trigger them by editing oneself out of the situation. Numerous yogis and sages have retreated to the mountains for decades before re-surfacing to the public within a state of Samadhi, otherwise known as the ultimate state of peace and enlightenment.
Sociopathy, now known as anti-social disorder, is generally a genetic condition that cannot be cured or mended. Only the individual can gain control of their inclinations in order to expand their understanding of others. Needless to mention, countless high functioning sociopaths have marked history beyond the point of return, especially within religious or spiritual professions. Whereas psychopathy prefers the long drawn out emotional pain in others, the sociopath has no preference. More often than not, the response of a sociopath is provoked into violence whilst the psychopath does not necessarily require a trigger event to victimise another. Most interestingly of all, the behavioural tendencies of a psychopath would not allow them to linger on a mountain for decades without human contact, whereas the sociopath would experience no care or consideration towards the task. Psychopaths and sociopaths, although it is a common misconception that they are increasingly alike, nothing could be further from the truth. The psychopath experiences an urge, a compulsion or a drive of some sort, generally speaking, whereas the sociopath does not. The most suitable analogy would perhaps be an emotional filter that is different from the average human being. The emotions are present within the sociopath, yet they are disconnected and in the background. Hence, a sociopath with anger management issues can become a rather clinically challenging subject. As sociopathy is a genetic condition, it affects the very core make-up of the individual. If pushed beyond a certain point, the sociopath cannot differentiate between a slight emotional outburst and the action of snapping a neck. It is a whiplash between extreme emotions that differs from bipolar disorder, as the sociopath experiences conscious choice of expression of emotions to a certain degree. In conclusion, the choice of detach oneself for sociopathy, similarly the development of the love-map for a rapist, occurs during childhood. It becomes a foundation stone in the mental development of the sociopath. Truth be told, there is very little distinction between the warrior monk and the sociopath in moments of extreme discontent. Both ways of living are mirror images of another. They are equal sides of the same spectrum, attempting to alter the circumstances, merely approaching the matter from opposing viewpoints. Ironically, they are increasingly alike. Both are triggered by the need of the soap opera within real life by other human beings. The unintentional or intentional creation of problems within daily life. Both also hold another aspect in common, a neutrality towards animals. The sociopath as well as the monk would prefer to focus on the owner of the animal that was trained to attack over the animal itself, whereas most other types of individuals focus less on the actions of the participants and more towards the action of the animal. However, for instance, whereas monks would prefer to prevent animal testing, urging for the animals to be released back into nature, sociopaths rather prevent the average citizen from applying products, which stem from the cruelty towards animals, via methods of social engineering. In essence, the mere difference between both approaches is the choice that is made to start with. The first choice that guides all other choices. For instance, the monk has the ability choose to distance himself instead of involving himself in altering society until society has changed itself or to risk changing it himself, whereas the sociopath is in favourable circumstances provided with the choice whether not to kill whilst altering society or not to kill and distance himself from society, whilst remaining at the core of it. The sociopath would through instinct choose to remain within society either way. Yet, the choice becomes whether to distance onself from society by whatever means necessary or to modify it by any means necessitated. Conversely, the monk chooses to separate himself from society by whatever means necessary until he chooses to alter society by any means necessitated. One can even go as far as to predict the behaviour of a monk by observing a sociopath, and vice versa. Yet, the first choice at all times determines the probabilities of choices that are to follow.

Related:

– Dating a Higher Functioning Sociopath – Part 3

– Non-Attachment & Depopulation

– Relationships in Times of Mass Extinction

– Heightism – The Rules Revisited