It is not the quality of the desired object that gives us pleasure, but rather the energy of our appetites.
– Charles Baudelaire
What is the key to persuasion? The primary objective is not to get someone to do something for us…but to make them want to do it. If we are determined enough, we can motivate others to do almost anything. However, there are ethical considerations, which must be considered. As a species, our desires are often fleeting. Unless we consistently reinforce said want, it will fade eventually. It should be considered here that even if we believe we are acting in someone elses best interest, we do not have the authority to decide what they want for them.
Desire is generally preceded by feelings of emptiness, of something missing inside, which needs to be fulfilled. When others deliberately instill such feelings, they make us aware of the adventure and romance lacking in our lives. Instead of seeing a need and filling it, they can create it by stirring anxiety or sowing discontent. However, those eager to persuade others will often seek an easy target that already has a visible hole in their lives.
The desire for whatever is then stoked by subtly planting ideas in their minds, hints of events still to come…await them. Conversely, deeper beliefs that take longer to change require them to mirror the values of others, indulging them in their wants as well as moods. Without realizing how it has happened, more and more of their thoughts begin to revolve around the previously stoked desire…and then they lure them in with something stronger to test their resolve by exposing them to a very specific temptation.
Life is short, and is rarely wasted by politicians pursuing and persuading the wrong people. Therefore, the choice of target group is critical. It sets up of the whole process and it will determine everything else that follows. The perfect target group can share the same values or similar goals in life. That is how a banal politicians choose his or her targets. The perfect target are the people who stir them in a way, which cannot be explained in words, whose effect on them has nothing to do with superficialities. Moreover, they often have a quality that they themselves lack, or may even secretly envy.
Ironically, the target group may
fear them a little, even slightly dislike them…Such tension can drive their public exposure and make their image much livelier. The more creative in choosing their targets, the more they’re often rewarded with more pupublicity. Of course, it means nothing if the potential targets are not open to their influence. First, they establish test groups of potential target types. When they sense vulnerability then the hunt can begin.
Keys to Persuasion:
How, When & Why
Throughout life we find ourselves having to persuade people for various reasons. Some will be relatively open to our influence, if only in subtle ways, while others seem impervious to our charm. We unconsciously drift toward people, who portray some vulnerability to us and avoid the ones who cannot be moved by us. This is a throwback to aiding our physical survival. By leaving those alone, who share little affinity with us, we are more likely to form stronger alliances.
However, should we desperately need something from someone for whatever reason, we no longer have the luxury to pick and choose. For example, when we are angling for a promotion with a boss, who never truly took to us…or solely wish to keep our jobs just another month…Then, we find ourselves in a situation, in which persuasion can be used to convince others of our worth as a productive member of society. But, how?
- It is not so much the means that make an attempt to influence others successfully, but the timing. What might otherwise work can be easily disrupted by choosing the wrong moment, in which they are less receptive than they normally are.
Ultimately, the how determines the ‘karmic comeback‘, we shall receive at a later point. Therefore, we must be extremely careful when deciding that the means justify the end. The when and how are of greater significance in the performance of any action than our justification for it. The reason behind our actions may provide additional energy to fuel our endeavours…It can determine, if quitting is ever an option. Overall, the why is far more important than than the how and when, but it can only direct us toward the tools that help us manipulate others…the why is primarily designed for others to persuade us and for us to overcome our darker impulses to get our own way.
We may assess the influence, we have, by the way people respond to us. Equally, we may estimate how others influence us by how we respond to them. Nevertheless, we should not pay so much attention to conscious responses. On a conscious level, those who aim to please or charm, are obviously trying to play on certain weaknesses (for example, vanity) and wants something from us. Instead, pay greater attention to those responses outside of our conscious control. An involuntary mirroring of some gesture, a blushing of the cheeks or unusual shyness. It should be noted, even negative emotions are a testament to the effect, we have on others. For instance, through a flash of anger or resentment, we are signalling how open we are to anothers powers of persuasion…or how easily we can be brought out of balance by them.
When Are We Most Vulnerable?
It is a stroke of good fortune to find one who is worth seducing. Most people rush ahead, become engaged or do other stupid things, and in a turn of the hand everything is over, and they know neither what they have won nor what they have lost.
— Soren Kierkegaar
Our powers of persuasion begin with a simple suggestion. In fact, all forms of influencing are the mere acceptance of a suggestion put before us either directly or indirectly. Dependent on our personality, mood, affinity (to the person and subject), we become more or less suggestible. Typically, the greater our emotional or mental instability in the moment, the greater the opening. Still, there are many ways suggestions can be slipped passed us. Reverse psychology is perhaps the best known as well as the most obvious method.
When we are likely to agree, if we allow ourselves to be open and receptive toward what others are saying or doing.
In order for someone to be more open-minded toward us, we need them to lower their defences. Mimicking is one of the most physical, easily detectable ways of achieving this. When mirroring a gesture in a very subtle manner, we essentially copy body language at roughly the same time. This is very easily spotted and only provides the illusion of rapport.
Definition: In 1660s, “reference, relation, relationship,” from French rapport “bearing, yield, produce => harmony, agreement, intercourse,” back-formation from rapporter “bring back, refer to,” from re- “again” (see re-) + apporter “to bring,” from Latin “apportare” which means “to bring,”
To build the kind of real connection, seen far too rarely in modern society, we must oppose our egoistic nature. We must shed our ego along with its destructive tendencies. Although we may perceive the ego as a source of individuality, and therefore personal power, this idea continues to mislead us… The ego cannot be a well of invulnerability at all times. It requires immense energy, awareness and non-externalised control in order to shield a conditional identity inside a transient shell…more than even an exceptional person might possess. As a consequence, it is also the ego that exposes our weaknesses. The more superficially we think, we more our thoughts crafts our internal reality through our perception of the external (when they exist as one). So, the more we talk, the more we reveal… Particularly when the other person says less than necessary.
In the end, there are no lasting relationships where the concept of “I” and “me” tilts the balance of giving or taking. For example, when an important fraction of our needs remain unfulfilled for prolonged periods. The “I”, our limited interpretation of an all-pervasive self transcending all domains of space-time, serves to aid our physical survival in a hostile environment on a temporary basis. What was once a means of coping in the short term has become a first resort as well as long term solution. We unknowingly make ourselves more vulnerable by choosing options, which should only be considered in dire emergencies. After all, it is a life lesson for every growing adult to explore the easy path…just to realise there are no shortcuts in life. The only power others exter over us is the power, we allow them to have. We persuade ourselves just as we are influenced by others.
In essence, our ego consists of