Some things are not supposed to be shared. Sometimes, the content of our minds is better left unsaid, regardless of the aftermath. Eventually after not saying what we think for long enough, it becomes éphémère. A shadow of it’s own self, alive for only a split second in time, until it faces the inevitable…
When we harbour questions to which we do not have answers, what are we to do? We can ask, but it doubtful, we will be told the truth. We can investigate, however, it’d be unforgivable to be discovered, digging through someone elses life. So, we must carefully weigh our options. That’s life for us as a society now. We can never truly be ourselves with anyone. We can never speak about what we actually think in fear that others may be hurt or disapprove of our daring to ask.
There’s corpses in our closet and they’ll invariable come tumbling out. Why should it be any different for anyone else? We all have secrets. We all hide things from others in fear of rejection.
At times, I think we are conditioned to never question for a reason, but once we start we can’t turn it off. We lose the ability to trust or believe in the good-hearted qualities of people. Once you’re alone long enough…Once you’ve been hurt deeply enough…that part of you just plays dead. Although it feels like a form of physical death with all the pain and writhing, it simply lays dormant afterwards. In a way, it waits to be reawakened, to be reborn in another form of itself. Perhaps in this life, perhaps in the next…But the flame that is reignited is just a means to an end: the realisation of cosmic unity.
When we toss and turn, attempting not to ask those pesky questions, which won’t let go…If we cannot trust enough to ask, what will become of us? How can we live our lives, not looking for worthwhile answers to the questions that plague us? How can we be at peace with that? After all, what we have to lose is something fleeting, should we have the courage to dare question anything…After everything, it is in destroying our hopes, dreams and illusions that we grow into responsible adults, or so it seems…
Who we are goes so much deeper than the eye can see, but we are distracted by instant gratification to even notice the more long-term consequences of our actions. We are who we choose to be right now, despite our darker mistakes in the past. If anyone can find redemption, why not us? We simply need to act accordingly. We need to be deserving of truth in order to attain it, which means to assess how much we wish to sacrifice to obtain it. For what its worth, I’ve broken more times than I can count, but it has never been without purpose. Truth hurts. This is no excuse to detach ourselves from the simple pleasure of human connection. To shut ourselves away from the world in more ways than necessary. We must try, even if we know we might fail. We must persevere in the face of adversity, because we define who we are.
We are who we choose to be in the here and now in those small, defining moments, which shape everything about out personality.
It is up to us as a whole to make our miracle happen.
It is through the small things that other perceive us. More importantly, when we seek redemption, to perceive us differently. However, if we don’t mean it, we won’t be able to maintain a caring or even loving attitude. In fact, suppressing emotion generally causes us to spiral, so when we cannot get the answers we want, we channel our energies differently. Though we know, we can’t find closure this way. We procrastinate, subconsciously waiting for the opportunity…for absolute truth to surface in a relative universe.