Living with a sociopath is not easy…It is living the way of will with them.
There are countless types of men. It was Carl Jung that proposed to uniqueness of every psyche and therefore every living being. Yet, there are genetic predispositions, which affect the manner in which the consciousness functions within the pre-selected body. Sociopathy is neurologically defined as exhibiting characteristics that imply a reduced input and output of emotion. Consequently, they perceive the phenomenal world in an entirely different manner. It should also be noted that the military refuses to allow sociopaths to participate in the lower ranks of the army. As the end justifies the means for them. As a professional counselor, I more often than not encounter articles that are scientifically flawed, as they intertwine psychopathy and sociopathy, which are two entirely different congenital “disorders”. After years of working with individuals that have become numbed by emotion with very little social will or ability to distance themselves from the drama that is being continually perpetuated by them. I at one point also went down that very same path, yet managed to avert my own self-destructive tendencies in order to provide support for others. I have discovered that the human inclination to become caught up in emotion is also that which repels us in regards to sociopaths. Not all their viewpoints are extreme. We often picture them as evil incarnate. The man or woman that is incapable of love and cannot be loyal to anyone. This statement is utterly inaccurate. The emotional connection is reduced. This does not imply that it is non-existent. Truth be told, sociopaths are often tormented by external circumstances due to their lack of emotional or subjective response. Objectivity and truth are, in essence, tools that are needlessly brutal, if applied without caution. The sociopath often does not have the careful handling, unless they have trained themselves to adapt to their surroundings in such a manner. I would advise you, if you wish to engage in a relationship with a sociopath, to leave your emotions at the door. By the definition of Scott Peck MD. “Love is not an emotion. It is commitment.” Naturally, one cannot be committed without being involved. However, for a sociopath to be in a relationship, they have to accept the emotion of their counterpart. Being in a long-term relationship with a sociopath truly allows one to learn the depths of non-attachment and the ability to move forward from a state of emotional anchors. If an individual utilizes critical and logical thought within circumstances of extreme emotion and stress, the situation loses its grasp on the individual. Within any relationship, there are gains and losses. Yet, it is not a battlefield and it should not be treated as such. It is more reminiscent of a sanctuary base, allowing for time to replenish. Numerous couples have constructed a bubble around themselves within their relationship to which they can retreat to, before being fully able to confront the outside world. We all practice a form of escapism. A negative coping mechanism that has outlived its usefulness. However, for a sociopath, their personality development goes back much further. During the period of early childhood, the sociopath is faced with an inevitable decision that cannot be delayed. The sociopath has a will of iron. Yet, even iron breaks under pressure. The choice is whether to kill or not to kill. It requires an enormous amount of will to not follow your natural impulses. Due to the lack of emotional connection, the outbursts that can occur are beyond an explosion of force. For them, there is no difference between a slap, dislocating the kneecap or driving a pencil through the neck. There is no punishing a sociopath, they will merely stare blankly. However, their understanding of their actions is profound due to the objective nature. They understand that they have violated human rights, yet they do not understand why they are being punished. Most importantly, sociopaths are only prone to provoked violence. If they are pushed too far, they will kill. It is as simple as that.
The difference between the psychopath and the sociopath is that they draw no pleasure from their deeds. They are indifferent. To them, it is a action-reaction reflex. As much as a sociopath is unemotional, it is all dependent upon their state of mind. As they show very little or no emotional basis for this, one simply has to observe their response. It is the choice between sitting on the ground, watching a stranger burning to death, and putting out the flame. Often it is a point of convenience. Other times, it is a point of kindness. In regards to my personal experiences with a sociopath, I do not for a moment regret my decision of engaging in a relationship with him. Though the lack of emotion can become tiresome, one evolves to maintaining ones presence of mind in any circumstance. Knowing that every individual is different, you have to take them at their stride or become monk and cut oneself off of society. To be a sociopath in todays society has truly become being at odds with everything. They do not care which celebrity rises or falls. They do not care about Simon Cowells’ bowel movements. They do not care whether their neighbor has a new lawnmower. It should be noted that they are single-minded and tenacious in their approach. They are also more likely to try things out despite of the advice of others, mainly as others view it from a subjective standpoint. One requires to develop a clear mind and social will, when dealing with a sociopath. Everyone should have a sociopath in their life, merely for an occasion calm, unemotional perspective. As the sociopath has chosen the path of society, thus he must act as others do, hiding within plain sight.